THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK by Richard Karsmakers
"Come on, will ya?" Han Solo became a bit irritated when Luke
lagged behind again. "I thought you were supposed to be one of
those space heroes?!"
Luke didn't say anything. He just panted heavily and heaved his
eyes at the remorseless dude walking in front of him.
They had been walking like this for over two days now. The sun
was hot - exceptionally hot, one might even say. Their flasks
were empty and their tongues stuck to their palates like dry
pieces of leather. The sun stood high and mighty, covering the
desert with a layer of hot air you could easily touch.
Suddenly, Han stopped short. Luke didn't notice it, and bumped
weakly into his back. "Quit that, will ya?!", Han bellowed, "I am
trying to concentrate!" Under his breath, he added some words
that defy being written down here.
Han had seen something on the eastern horizon, and he took his
binoculars to examine it more closely. If it were some of Darth
Vader's servants, they had better hide. And quick!
"What's it?" said Luke weakly, clasping at Han's pants in order
to get up again.
"I....I don't know.", muttered Han, "I can't see. Err.... It
seems to be a large rabbit with....yes....with a cheap pocket
watch, being pursued by some nut of a girl. None of Darth Vader's
goons, I gather."
Han sighed one of those deep sighs of relief: "Sigh".
"Han...", whispered Luke, "Han, shouldn't we ask them if they by
chance have some water left?" His voice seemed to fade away into
Han, stupefied by his own stupidity, searched the horizon again
but couldn't find anything anymore. "Blast! It must have been a
Han bent down to help Luke to get up.
"My God!" he cried as he was doing so. "Luke! Luke! Why do you
always eat garlic before embarking on these long voyages -
especially with me? It smells like someone left the gas tab
FLASH! (This is the sound made by a light that suddenly became
visible, contained in a small cartoon cloud above Han Solo's
head. "Philips, 50 Watts", you could even read on it. The sound,
of course, has been infinitely amplified, because otherwise you
wouldn't hear much)
"Gas? Gas?! GAS!? Hell's Teeth! I left my gas tab open at home!"
At that precise moment, an enormous explosion shook the
fundaments of the town.
"It seems to come from the direction of Harrison's house",
Luke suddenly didn't seem to have no thirst no more. "Ego sum
Pauper", he muttered.
"Tu quoque, Brute", the someone who has spoken earlier replied.
"Carpe Diem", the narrator added.
"Coito Ergo Sum", the someone who always wanted to have the
last word added.
Someone dressed up in clothes that would probably be in fashion
in another couple of centuries, on a planet at considerable
distance from Earth, could be caught running like wild through
the town some seconds later. Some kids ran after him, holding
pens and paper and yelling: "Mr. Ford, signature please!"
Can you already tell I've been reading some of Douglas Adams'
books recently? I know....they have a devastating effect on my
writing: It's getting more absurd by the day. This will probably
have an enormous peak in the next issue of ST NEWS, which will
probably be completely dedicated to this master of absurd humour.
Recently, Domark has published the sequel to their 3D "Star
Wars" game, called "The Empire Strikes Back". On first sight, it
looks about exactly the same as the earlier game - the same type
of music (by David Whittaker), the same colors, the same kind of
graphics, the same kind of controls.
When you play the game, however, you will notice that the levels
have been replaced by other disciplines (such as destroying radio
robots and the messages they send, destroying walkers and
avoiding asteroids). I especially like level two, where two kinds
of walkers have to be annihilated. It's very spectacular and well
animated, and I really like to fly between one of those giant
walker's legs and destroy the tow cable (earns me 5000 points,
too). The 3D effect is still great, and the action is still
Personally, I think "The Empire Strikes Back" is not better nor
worse than "Star Wars". I'd like to see it as a new version with
other levels instead, something that I really would have
preferred in the original game (in that case they could just have
extended the old game a bit, making it a bit more expensive). Any
moment now, Domark will launch "Return of the Jedi" to complete
the trilogy. This will probably also be quite like its
predecessors - with different levels, that is.
Concluding, it can be said that "The Empire Strikes Back" is
another fantastic game with fast vector graphics and superb
playability. It's just a shame that it looks so much like "Star
Wars". If you don't have "Star Wars" yet, I would surely
recommend it - otherwise I wouldn't.
Name: The Empire Strikes Back
Value for money: 7.5
Remark: Too much like the "Star Wars" game
Thanks to Nadia Singh at Barrington Harvey, for sending this
review copy to us. I'm now eagerly awaiting "Kennedy Approach"!
For info, contact:
22 Hartfield Road