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WELL....ER....WELL.....UUUUH.....WHO THE HECK DO WE THINK WE ARE?
PART II - I-Z
by many of the freakin' nutcases that ever wrote for this
freakin' magazine anywhere on this freakin' world

Continue reading these strange facts about these strange
people...

JANSSEN, CAREL...................................................

Name: Carel Janssen
Age: 49
Residence: Terheijden, Dutch
Favourite food: Mussels (My own recipe!!)
Worst food: I wouldn't know. I will probably eat just all that'll
be served in wathever region of our beloved planet. I hate
SPOILED food, that is the worst food of all!!
Favourite drink: Wine. Most of all a Beaujolais and of that a
Morgon, Chenas (Chateau Bonnet) or Moulin-a-Vent.
Worst drink: Cod-liver-oil.
Favourite TV programs: In what language on what computer is that
written?
Worst TV programs: See previous statement
Favourite books: I'll wait till Richard's finished his novel!
Worst book: The worst book I ever read, I never read!
Music tastes: All music that makes me fly; so no particular
composer or style is favourite to me, although J.S. Bach's
swinging music is trying to persuade me for years. But still
I'll stand !!
Worst music: There are bad musicians, yes there are!! And there
is music that bores me. And that music may be of all times.
Nothing particular so! May be an electr. gitar, may be I'm going
to hate that.
Likes: Argueing...mmmmmmm!! As a game more, sharpening my wit.
And playing music !
Dislikes: To have to keep my mouth shut!!
Previous computers owned: Texas Instruments 99/4a and an Acorn
Electron
Current computers owned: 260 ST + 1040 ST
Favourite game: I don't like to play games on a computer. I could
not ever win one all my life!!
Worst game: That will probably be the game that I can win! But I
don't know one !
What do you dislike most about the software industry: They don't
like me to steal from them, but they don't care a thing to steal
from each other and from the Public Domain. The S.I. should sell
its products at the average price of a good book or CD. The work
invested in the latter two is often much and much more than in
most computer games at the first place and in much other
computerware as well. And more, the S.I. should improve its
products by itself and not by the work of never paid users.
Furthermore, illegal software isn't that bad. My experience is,
that in many cases, you will not use it, because you lack the
support of a good manual and the updates. So, illegal software
stimulates the need of legal software. In one, the S.I. should
most of all learn to become a real industry.
Ultimate ambition: At last mastering the Gaelic language
What do you like about yourself: That I love my wife, now more
than yesterday
What do you hate about yourself: That there is only one like me,
that looks like me! Think about that!!
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: I only saw it lately,
but it made a deep impression. STEVE. Marvellous!!
Profession: I am corrector with a newspaper. In Latin it means
the same as conrector, but it pays less. But I'm just offered a
new kind of job. It pays more in money and satisfaction.
First article: FORTH COURSE I

KARSMAKERS, RICHARD..............................................

Name: Richard Karsmakers
Age: Nun of your business (well....it's 21)
Place of dwelling/nationality: Utrecht, Dutch
Favourite food: Spaghetti Bolognese, everything containing pork
with Babi Pangang sauce, Lasagna
Worst food: Ginger, Radishes, Olives and something that I don't
know how to spell but tastes bad and smells even worse than the
excrements of a Mutant Mega Monster of Multifizzic Omega
Favourite drink: Plantiac Vieux, Coca Cola
Worst drink: Pangalactic Gargleblaster, pineapple juice, regular
beer
Favourite films: Deer Hunter, Roger Rabbit, The Longest Day,
The Dark Crystal, Neverending Story (except for the end), Return
of the Pink Panther, The Naked Gun
Favourite TV programs: Beauty and the Beast, Family Ties, all
cartoons
Worst TV programs: Anything educational or presented by a
gameshow/talkshow host
Favourite book: Lord of the Rings by Tolkien; recently also "The
Dark Long Tea-Time of the Soul" by Douglas Adams
Worst book: Anything by Harry Mulisch; David Copperfield
Music tastes: Metallica, Yngwie Malmsteen, Rush, Guitar Masters,
Deep Purple
Worst music: Hip hop, New Beat and all Acid except for Stakker's
"Humanoid"
Likes: Patricia, and all the females mentioned in ST NEWS Volume
4 Issue 2's 'hidden article' (ALT+M in menu mode), as well as
writing lengthy introductory novelettes, listening to Great
Music Creators...er...trying to conceive programs that are
Frøystein-proof, and reading other disk magazines that are
written in some sort of language that vaguely resembles English
but that is so full of errors that you can only laugh about it
Dislikes: Fat, little, arrogant and unesthetical Amiga owners
whose beard hairs are already growing back into their fat little
necks; biological-as well as computer-viruses; people that rip
off my "VDU"
Previous/current computers owned: Atari ST, Commodore 64,
Sinclair QL, Cambridge Computer Z88, Commodore Amiga
(aaargghh!), VIC 20 (about 27 minutes and 52 seconds)
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble, Super Sprint, New Sierra Stuff,
War in Middle Earth, Nebulus, Gridrunner (ST version!), Populous
Worst games: Super Huey, Pacland, Kennedy Approach
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: People selling illegal software
Ultimate ambition: Gettin' to be pretty famous, driving a red
Ferrari Testarossa and winin'n'dinin' this great Californian
chick with long legs, blond hair and enormous MC68000
programming knowledge; becoming a professional member of a
Dynamic U.S.-based Dream Team with Stefan, learning C fluently
What do you like about yourself: My intelligence, ambition,
talent, good looks and programming skills
What do you hate about yourself: I cannot seem to be modest...
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: GfA Basic 3.0
Profession: Student without something to study
First article written for ST NEWS: Er.....uhh....oops, I forgot!

KUUS, WILLEKE....................................................

Name: Willeke Kuus
Age: 21
Place of dwelling/nationality: Soest, Dutch
Favourite food: Shoarma
Worst food: Liver
Favourite drink: Cola
Worst drink: Beer
Favourite films: Big, Willow, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Favourite TV programs: Who's the Boss, Rondom Tien
Worst TV programs: Miami Vice, Op Volle Toeren
Favourite book: Jan Jans en de Kinderen
Worst book: Twenty-in-a-nickle romantic novels
Music tastes: Herman Brood, Crowded House, Toto, The Cure, The
Sound
Worst music: Simon & Garfunkel, Koos Alberts
Likes: Everything that has to do with making music; bands;
clothes
Dislikes: Arrogant people; people who always have headaches
Previous/current computers owned: Er...none
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble
Worst games: I don't know any, but there are bound to be a lot
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Not enough women in it
Ultimate ambition: Learning to sing and become a singer
What do you like about yourself: I am slim
What do you hate about yourself: I am not slim enough
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: ST NEWS
Profession: I work with mentally and physically handicapped
children
First article written for ST NEWS: Why girls hate computers

LEMMEN, FRANK....................................................

Name: Frank Lemmen
Age: 21
Place of dwelling/nationality: Helmond, Dutch
Favourite food: Chinese
Worst food: None
Favourite drink: Amaretto di Saronno
Worst drink: Whiskey
Favourite films: Roger Rabbit
Favourite TV programs: Keek op de Week, Pin-Up Club
Worst TV programs: Op Goed Geluk
Favourite book: ST NEWS (good joke, Frank! ED)
Worst book: ?????
Music tastes: Everything except Heavy stuff
Worst music: Heavy Stuff
Likes: Girls
Dislikes: The Amiga Operating System
Previous/current computers owned: Commodore VIC 20, Commodore 64,
Atari ST, Amiga 500
Favourite games: Falcon
Worst games: Many...
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Copying
Ultimate ambition: Happy (lotsa $$$$)
What do you like about yourself: All of it
What do you hate about yourself: None of it
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Virus Fixer
Profession: Manager at STRIKE-a-LIGHT
First article written for ST NEWS: Something in the second or
third issue of Volume 1 (the .DOC issues, remember?)

MOSS, TIM........................................................

Name: Tim Moss (Manikin of The Lost Boys)
Age: 18
Place of dwelling/nationality: Teddington (West London), English
Favourite food: Kebabs
Worst food: Curry (of any type!)
Favourite drink: Southern Comfort & Orange
Worst drink: Carrot Juice
Favourite films: ?
Favourite TV programs: Cheers
Worst TV programs: Lost in Space!
Favourite book: Anything by Stephen King
Worst book: The Bible
Music tastes: Simple Minds, Midnight Oil, S-Express, Frankie GTH
Worst music: Heavy Metal, Des'o'Connor
Likes: Catherine (the girlfriend)
Dislikes: Football; women in high heels and short skirts who have
bad legs
Previous/current computers owned: Atari 800 & BBC Micro
(previous) and Atari 1040 STF (current)
Favourite games: Speedball, Dungeon Master
Worst games: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Companies that pass out trashy conversions at about 1
a week. Mentioning no names! (U.S. Gold)
Ultimate ambition: To make loadsa money
What do you like about yourself: My height. At 6'1" it's just
right!
What do you hate about yourself: My hair (I'm going grey at
18!!!)
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Devpac 2, Dungeon
Master
Profession: Student
First article written for ST NEWS: The Twist Scroll (in this
issue)

OSE, TORBJØRN....................................................

Name: Torbjørn Ose (NOT TOBJØRN!!)
Age: Almost 19
Place of dwelling/nationality: Ørsta, Norway
Favourite food: Pizza (even cold ones!)
Worst food: Any kind of porridge
Favourite drink: Coca Cola is it! and most kinds of lemonade
Worst drink: Most alcoholic drinks
Favourite films: Most Spielberg stuff and some good action films
Favourite TV programs: I can't think of any good TV programs...
Worst TV programs: See above
Favourite book: THE guide... (need I say more)
Worst book: Atari owners manual
Music tastes: Just about anything except norwegian folk music. I
enjoy listening to the "Stefan and Richard ST NEWS chorus"
version of the Metallica tune called "ONE". Which is
(fortunately?) not available to the public. I especially like
Jarre and Vangelis who really makes some truly brilliant synth
musix. My favourite Norwegian group is DUM DUM BOYS
Worst music: Norwegian folk music
Likes: programming (mostly 68000 but also GFA), reading disk
magazines, watching stunning demos and intros, driving, skiing,
wind surfing and lots of other things.
Dislikes: People changing scroll texts and loading pictures,
people selling pirated software. (REMARK: I am not completely
against spreading of illegal software. If I couldn't get free
software I know that both myself and probably many others would't
have bought a computer at all. But I am totally against selling
pirated software). Well back to the list of things I dislike:
bugs, bombs, bad English, any error messages and of course viruses
Previous/current computers owned: Spectrum 48K and AMSTRAD CPC6128
(I bought this one from Ronny). I still own these 8 bit computers
in addition to my ATARI 1040STFM
Favourite games: Barbarian II (to get out all aggression), Chuckie
Egg (makes me remember the good old days with platform and ladder
games), Eliminator (A stunning game!), Devpac V2 (I play this one
for hours..)
Worst games: Joust
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: The prices...
Ultimate ambition: Becoming the greatest guy in the universe!
What do you like about yourself: Just about everything. I
particulary like my addiction towards computers and the English
language
What do you hate about yourself: Lack of modesty when filling in
forms that are supposed to be filled in with serious stuff.
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Devpac2 and The Union
Demo
Profession: Student (Business and Administration)
First article written for ST NEWS: Relocation

POSTHUMA, STEFAN.................................................

Name: Stefan Posthuma
Age: Ah! Just a year older than Richard
Place of dwelling/nationality: Den Bosch, Dutch
Favourite food: Anything with lotsa peppers, onions, garlic and
hot sauce
Worst food: Peanutbutter sandwiches and all health food
Favourite drink: Coke (with or without Bacardi) or Plantiac
Worst drink: Water
Favourite films: Anything by Spielberg, George Lucas or James
Cameron and anything starring Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Eddie
Murphy and/or Arnold Schwarzenegger
Favourite TV programs: Family Ties, Storyteller, Twilight Zone
and Fawlty Towers
Worst TV programs: Dallas, Dynasty and other neverending soaps
Favourite book: The Hithhiker Series and the Chronicles of Thomas
Covenant; Playboy's Book of Forbidden Words
Worst book: Everything that isn't in English
Music tastes: Metallica, Jean Michel Jarre and more heavy and
synth stuff
Worst music: Anything created by Stock, Aitken and Waterman plus
all Dutch shit
Likes: Chocolate Mousse, girls in general, fast computers and
Jeff Minter games, as well as reading Tolkien and Donaldson
Dislikes: People that talk too much, cold pizza
Previous/current computers owned: Philips Videopac (computer?),
VIC 20, CBM 64, Philips :YES PC and Atari ST!
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble, Elite and Hitchhicker's Guide to
the Galaxy as well as Andes Attack
Worst games: All Chess programs (all beat me even at level 0)
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Software houses creating substandard games and tell
everybody that they are 'THE best shoot-them-up' etc.
Ultimate ambition: To become stupefyingly rich and to once resist
a poetry reading by a Vogon; programming a parallax-scrolling
and hugely mindchucklingly funny ST game; becoming a member of a
Dynamic U.S.-based Dream Team with Richard; learning Norwegian
so that I can read "ST Klubben"
What do you like about yourself: Everything
What do you hate about yourself: Nothing
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: The Union Demo
Profession: Full time computer programmer
First article written for ST NEWS: Writing your own Adventures
(way back in Volume 1....)

RAMOS, ANDREAS...................................................

Name: Andreas Ramos
Age: 33
Place of dwelling/nationality: Denmark, U.S.A.
Favourite food: Indian Lamb in yoghurt
Worst food: British cooking
Favourite drink: Hannen Alt. (German Beer)
Worst drink: Milk
Favourite films: Die Hard, Stranger than Paradise
Favourite TV programs: Test Pattern
Worst TV programs: White House Press Conferences
Favourite book: Pale Fire, Nabokov
Worst book: Snoopy
Music tastes: Avant Garde Punk
Worst music: Abba
Likes: Psychedelic Furs, The The, Talking Heads
Dislikes: Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen
Previous/current computers owned: None
Favourite games: Flight Simulators
Worst games: Joystick games
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Pirates
Ultimate ambition: To be a Rock'n'Roll star; to grow up
What do you like about yourself: Great sense of humour
What do you hate about yourself: Not serious enough
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Le Redacteur
Profession: PhD Philosophy (And of course the Danish distributor
of ST NEWS! ED.)
First article written for ST NEWS: Cartographer review (?)

SIMON, ERIK......................................................

Name: Erik "ES" Simon
Age: 25
Place of dwelling/nationality: Guetersloh, German
Favourite food: Curry Chicken
Worst food: Spinache
Favourite drink: German Wine
Worst drink: Beer
Favourite films: Last Unicorn, Blues Brothers
Favourite TV programs: Star Trek (Old!)
Worst TV programs: Commercials
Favourite book: Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien; Dragonriders
of Pern by Anne McCuffrey; Hitchiker's Guide; How to make an
Anchor out of your Amiga by TCB
Worst book: Amiga DOS Programming
Music tastes: Led Zeppelin, Manfred Mann, Jethor Tull, Rob
Hubbard
Worst music: Stock-Aitken-Waterman
Likes: Drivin' my Bike
Dislikes: Militarism
Previous/current computers owned: C-64, ST, PC Engine, Amiga
Favourite games: Archon, Backlash, R-Type, Ultima, Bubble Bobble,
Sentinel, Hard Drivin'
Worst games: Sooo many, don't have the space
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Untrustworthy people + companies
Ultimate ambition: Setting pixels
What do you like about yourself: Being tall & having a beard
What do you hate about yourself: Eating too much
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Union Demos, Spectrum
512, NeoChrome
Profession: Game designer + graphic artist at Thalion
First article written for ST NEWS: Vertical Rasters

STUMPE, GUIDO....................................................

Name: Guido Stumpe
Age: 24
Place of dwelling/nationality: Bonn, German
Favourite food: Gulasch with Nudeln
Worst food: I don't know
Favourite drink: Coca Cola
Worst drink: I don't know...sorry!
Favourite films: Star Trek (best one: Number four!)
Favourite TV programs: SAT1/RTL Science Fiction Series
Worst TV programs: Soccer
Favourite book: The Treasure at Silver Lake; Karl May Books
Worst book: Bad computer books (no specific company!!)
Music tastes: Nothing special
Worst music: Again....I don't know
Likes: Swapping PD disks (ST NEWS and ST-Computer); Atari & Mac
Computers
Dislikes: Doing sports
Previous/current computers owned: Atari Mega ST2, MacIntosh+
Favourite games: Dungeon Master, Carrier Command, Dugger (I like
this very much!)
Worst games: Games from Magic Bytes (not too good), MS-DOS
emulator and the Magic Sac MacIntosh Emulator from Robtek
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Never enough software to test, and often software's
too expensive
Ultimate ambition: Programming in GfA Basic, or digitizing with
the video-or sound digitizer
What do you like about yourself: My hobby and works on the ST
What do you hate about yourself: I'm too fat !! Garfield !!
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Calamus DTP
Profession: Selling computers and software in Bonn (And of course
being the German distributor of ST NEWS! ED.)
First article written for ST NEWS: Aladin V2.0 article

Well, we hope you have now been able to form a picture of what
kind of people create ST NEWS. We actually also hope you won't be
too disappointed here and there.
Please continue reading it, OK?

Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.