"America is the only country that went from barbarism to
decadence without civilization in between."
- or -
SEX AND THE SINGLE COMPUTER
uploaded by Zig
This bit was first published in "Interleave" and afterwards in
the "ST Enthusiasts Newsletter", issue 5. Thanks to Dave Mooney
for allowing us to use it.
Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His
broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with
numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.
One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and
had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed
the 5100 bus that morning), when he noticed that an elegant piece
of hardware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought
to himself, "She looks user friendly. I'll see if she'd like an
Mini was her name , and she was delightfully engineered with
eyes like COBOL and a Prime mainframe architecture that set
micro's peripherals networking all over the place.
He browsed over her casually, admiring the power of her twin,
32-bit floating point processors and enquired, "How are you
Honeywell?" "Yes, I am well" she responded, batting her optical
fibres engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear
Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-
alone tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my
base address. I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get
offset later on."
Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then
transmitted, "8K, I've been dumped myself recently, and a new
page is just what I need to refresh my discs. I'll park my
machine cycle in your back-ground and meet you inside." She
walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking,
"Wow, what a global variable, I wonder if she'll like my
They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of
fiche and chips and a bucket of Baudot. Mini was in conversation
mode and expanded on ambiguous arguements while Micro gave
occasional acknowledgements although in reality, he was analysing
the shortest and least critical path to her entry point. He
finally settled on the old "would you like to see my benchmark
subroutine", but Mini was one step ahead.
Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal
the full functionality operating system software. "Let's get
BASIC, you RAM," she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but
his processor module had a processor of its own and was in danger
of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had
consulted his analyst about. "Core," was all that he could say.
Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and
opened her device file to reveal her data set ready. He accessed
his fully packed root device and was just about to start pushing
into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.
"No No!" she piped. "You're not shielded."
"Reset, Baby," he replied. "I've been fully debugged."
"But I haven't got my current loop enabled and can't support
child processes," she protested.
"Don't run away," he said. "I'll generate an interupt."
"No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my
Micro was locked in by this stage, and could not be turned off.
But she soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike
into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash
and went to sleep.
"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "all they ever
think of is hex."
(From CAAR07 @ Strathclyde University, Ex INFOVAX. Uploaded by
Zig!!, Cheers FEB. Hiya Bun, Zugger, Simes & Jules, Nick, Chris
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.