THE COMPLETE AND, INDEED, *UNABRIDGED* FILMSCRIPT TO
*** THE MEANING OF LIFE ***
Transcribed by Jason R. Heimbaugh
Further edited and slightly enhanced by Richard C. Karsmakers
THE MEANING OF LIFE
PART VI B
THE MEANING OF LIFE
[Some time later.]
[The Cleaning Woman is still on her knees, cleaning up the
remains of Mr Creosote. The Maitre D lights up a cigarette in
Maitre D: You know, Maria, I sometimes wonder whether we'll ever
discover the meaning of it all working in a place like this.
Maria: [shrugs] Oh, I've worked in worse places...
Maitre D: Really, Maria?
Yes... I used to work in the Academie Francaise
But it didn't do me any good at all...
And I once worked in the library in the Prado in Madrid,
But it didn't teach me nothing, I recall...
And the Library of Congress, you'd have thought would hold
But it didn't. And neither did the Bodleian Library.
In the British Museum I hoped to find some clue,
I worked there from 9 till 6 - read every volume through,
But it didn't teach me nothing about Life's mystery...
I just kept getting older, and it got more difficult to see.
Until eventually me eyes went and me arthritis got bad,
And so now I'm cleaning up in here - but I can't really be sad,
Cause you see I feel that Life's a game
You sometimes win or lose,
And though I may be down right now
At least I don't work for Jews...
[The Maitre D pours the bucket over her head and turns to the
camera looking most upset.]
Maitre D: I'm so sorry... I had no idea we had a racist working
here... I apologise... most sincerely... I mean... where are you
going - I can explain... oh, quel dommage...
[The camera pans off the Maitre D and alights on Gaston, smoking
Gaston: As for me... if you want to know what I think... I'll
show you something... come with me...
Maitre D: [out of shot] I was saying that - hallo... hallo...
Gaston: Come on... this way.
[He nods to the camera and walks out of the restaurant and the
camera follows him.]
Voice of Maitre D: I can explain everything.
Gaston: Come on - don't be shy. Mind the stairs... All right. I
think this will help explain.
[He walks through the town.]
Gaston: Come along... Come along... Over here... Come on... Come
on... This way... Come on... Stay by me, uh? Nearly there now.
[Eventually Gaston comes over a hill and nods down to a little
thatched cottage nestling idyllically in a valley. Smoke rises up
from the chimney.]
Gaston: You see that? That's where I was born. You know, one
day, when I was a little boy, my mother she took me on her knee
and she said: 'Gaston, my son. The world is a beautiful place.
You must go into it, and love everyone, not hate people. You must
try and make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment
everywhere you go.' And so... I became a waiter...
[There is a rather long pause, while he looks a bit self-
deprecating and nods shyly at the live.]
Gaston: Well... it's... it's not much of a philosophy, I know...
but... well... fuck you... I can live my own life in my own way
if I want to. Fuck off! Don't come following me!
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.