"When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all."
THE COMPLETE AND UNABRIDGED FILM SCRIPT OF
"ERIK THE VIKING"
by Terry Jones
Cut back to Erik and his men getting into GOLDEN DRAGON.
Erik notices Thorfinn and Sven quarrelling over Leif the
ERIK Hey, you two! What's going on?
SVEN I was sitting there.
LEIF No, you weren't.
THORFINN Leif's sitting here. I need a bit of luck.
SVEN Look, I bagged it last week.
ERIK It doesn't matter where you sit!
SVEN Yes it does! We could be at sea for months.
ERIK Well, what difference does it make where you're
SVEN I don't want to have to sit next to Snorri all
Sven nods towards Snorri the Miserable - an Eeyore of a
Viking if ever there were one.
SNORRI Thank you very much indeed.
ERIK Now stop it!
SNORRI It's so nice to feel wanted.
ERIK Leif, you sit there. Even, you sit there.
Harald, you'd better sit over there...
SNORRI Trust me to get the missionary.
Suddenly Erik notices Sven's father climbing aboard.
ERIK What are you doing here?
SVEN'S DAD You may need a real Berserk.
SVEN I am one, Dad!
ERIK We haven't got a spare place.
IVAR He can have my place. I don't want to go anyway.
ERIK Well, you are!
KEITEL Bjorn's not. He could have Bjorn's place.
ERIK What's the matter with Bjorn?
THORFINN Nothing... Halfdan the Black chopped his hand off
ERIK He was lucky... (to Sven's dad) Sit there.
SNORRI You can't have Sven's father sitting next to
Sven. They'll argue the whole time.
ERIK That's true. (to Sven) You'd better sit there.
(to Sven's dad) You there, and Ornulf there.
SNORRI Now you've got all the big ones on one side.
Erik looks around. It is true that all the tall burly
ones are on one side.
ERIK All right, you go there. You here...
Sven's dad and Ornulf swap places.
SVEN'S DAD Ohh! I wanted to sit next to Leif.
ERIK Shut up. You there. You there and you there.
Ivar and Ornulf swap places. Erik surveys this re-
ERIK That's better.
SNORRI Now you've got all the ones with beards on one
side and all the moustaches on the other.
This is true. Erik thinks some moments and then:
ERIK It doesn't matter.
They start to haul the sail up. Ropes are released.
The boat rocks. Suddenly a voice cuts through the crowd.
It is Erik's mother.
ERIK'S MUM Wait! Wait! Wait!
ERIK What is it? (he is clearly a little embarrassed)
ERIK'S MUM Here, son.
She tries to hand Erik what looks unmistakably like a
pillow. Erik is dumbfounded.
ERIK'S MUM Your father always made sure he could rest his
head at night.
Erik is mortified. The others snigger, though not
without some sympathy for Erik. They've all been
embarrassed by their mums at one time or another.
ERIK I can't take that on a voyage!
ERIK'S MUM It was your father's!
Erik will find it hard to refuse now. But he hesitates.
ERIK'S MUM It was the pillow he took with him. He said it
once saved his life.
Erik reluctantly takes the precious object. His mother
kisses him. Everyone has fallen silent now. The
relatives stand helpless on the shore as GOLDEN DRAGON
starts to drift away from them. The Vikings sit in their
places, hands on the oars looking back at their loved
ones. Erik stands at the prow of GOLDEN DRAGON. For a
moment he thinks he sees the girl he killed, standing,
white in death, the spear-wound still fresh. Erik
raises his hand in a half-goodbye.
We cut back to the loved ones, now the girl is no
longer there. They too half-raise their hands.
Erik suddenly turns and gives a shout:
The oars go up and then into the water, and GOLDEN
DRAGON commences her voyage.
Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON at sea.
Snorri is feeling queasy and gazing gloomily at the
receding coastline of Norway. Thangbrand is sitting near
him and feeling equally queasy.
SNORRI Have a good look... that's the last we'll see of
Snorri is desperately trying to control his insides.
SNORRI Goodbye home... goodbye family... goodbye
loved ones... (he starts to throw up) Goodbye
THANGBRAND Oh! Shut up.
Harald Missionary puts his arm around Snorri.
HARALD You know, my son, our lord said...
SNORRI Your lord.
HARALD Quite... My lord... said: "The Prayer of Faith
shall have the sick."
SNORRI I hope the Dragon of the North Sea gets you and
Harald Missionary gives him a condescending smile and a
weary shake of the head. He knows the Dragon of the North
Sea does not exist.
HARALD Darkness and ignorance...
Meanwhile Ivar the Boneless and Sven the Berserk are
both suffering from the effects of the sea.
SVEN (keeping a wave of nausea down) It's not so bad when you're
THORFINN SKULL-SPLITTER That's right
Thorfinn gobs onto the whetstone with which he is
sharpening his axe. Sven can control himself no longer.
He rushes for the side.
SVEN THE BERSERK I want to die.
This sets off Ivar.
IVAR THE BONELESS Uh oh!
He leaps up and pukes over the side. Mass puking
breaks out all over the boat.
Keitel Blacksmith looks around at his preoccupied
shipmates, and it slowly dawns upon him that this might
be the moment to try a little sabotage.
He goes to the ship's lodestone, which is hanging from
the mast. Keitel glances around. No one is looking, but
this sort of covert behaviour goes against his normally
sunny and open disposition.
KEITEL (to himself) The Blacksmith's Code...
He steels himself, takes down the lodestone, snaps
out the piece of metal in the base and throws it over the
side. Keitel hangs it up again on the mast.
THORFINN Are you all right?
IVAR No, I'm not.
THORFINN You don't need to feel bad about being sea-sick,
IVAR How can you help feeling bad when you're sea-
THORFINN I mean many of the greatest sailors were.
IVAR I know. I know.
THORFINN Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single
voyage... the whole time... non-stop... puke...
IVAR Look! I don't feel bad about it. I just feel ill.
Thorfinn pauses and waits for a wave of nausea to creep
up on Ivar.
THORFINN He used to puke in his sleep.
He throws up.
Meanwhile Erik is in the stern, gazing out behind them.
ERIK Thorfinn... look over there.
Thorfinn leaves Ivar and joins Erik.
On the horizon a sinister sail is following them.
Thorfinn grins with evil pleasure. He scents a fight.
Erik turns to the crew.
ERIK Break out the oars!
Thorfinn's smile disappears and he spins round to
THORFINN What are you talking about?
ERIK (to his reluctant crew) Come on, move it!
Most of the men are being sea-sick.
MORD FIDDLE We've only just started cooking lunch.
The crew glance at Mord Fiddle and then throw up again.
ERIK Move it!
Reluctantly the crew take up their rowing
positions. Thorfinn buttonholes Erik (except of
course that he doesn't have any buttonholes).
THORFINN It's Halfdan the Black!
ERIK I know. Snorri! Get your oar out!
Snorri is sitting in position but without his oar.
Keitel has meanwhile joined them. He, too, stares at the
horizon. He is a little puzzled by this turn of events.
Loki has said nothing about Halfdan coming after them.
KEITEL (uneasily) Do you suppose he wants to stop us waking the
Erik looks at Keitel with a certain amount of
contempt. Keitel is not renowned even amongst these
Vikings for his brain-power.
ERIK What do you think?
KEITEL But how could he know... unless...
Keitel stops in mid-sentence as he realizes it must be
THORFINN (scornfully) So are you going to run away from him,
Erik turns to Thorfinn.
ERIK Row, Thorfinn Skull-Splitter.
ERIK And you, Keitel Blacksmith.
Keitel shrugs and turns to take up his rowing
position. He is still a little confused by this turn of
events. Erik confronts Thorfinn.
ERIK I gave an order. Or didn't you hear?
There is something about Erik's manner that carries an
authority that Thorfinn cannot argue with.
ERIK Come on, Ivar.
Erik manhandles Ivar over to his drum and thrusts his
drumsticks into his hands.
Halfdan's ship is twice the size of Erik's and, as
Erik is only too well aware, consequently travels at
twice the speed. There is no real chance of them
escaping, unless... Erik suddenly catches sight of a
thick bank of mist in the distance, and steers his ship
IVAR (still feeling ill) I want to die... (then, suddenly
catching sight of Halfdan's ship behind him) No,
ERIK Row! Row! Row!
Ivar tries to get into the new rhythm, but has a bit
of difficult. As Halfdan's ship gains on them inexorably,
GOLDEN DRAGON glides into the sea mist. There is a
tremendous roll of thunder very close. All the Vikings
look scared. Erik, however, grins.
ERIK Row! Row! Row!
He doubles the speed. The drum beats faster.
SVEN'S DAD (shouts out angrily) We can't keep this up!
Erik grins and then leans on the steering oar.
GOLDEN DRAGON curves around to its left. Then Erik lays
his hand on Ivar's drum and silences it.
ERIK Oars up!
The Vikings ship their oars and sit there in the
mist listening to beating of Halfdan's drum getting
closer and closer.
At the final moment, however, Halfdan swings his ship
in the opposite direction from Erik's and the sound of
his drum disappears into the mist. Erik's men breathe a
sigh of relief... even Keitel Blacksmith... Fade.
Fade up some time later. GOLDEN DRAGON is still drifting
in the mist. Erik has his fish-lodestone and is
trying the direction, but the lodestone is just
swinging round uselessly. After trying a few times,
Erik gives up and throws the lodestone away into the
The men peer into the thick mist; they are lost.
Suddenly Erik sees something ahead.
ERIK The Gates of the World...
MORD FIDDLE What?
GOLDEN DRAGON silently guides between two weird islands.
ERIK We have passed through the Gates of the World
(he looks around at the other) No we are in the
GOLDEN DRAGON drifts on and the mist gets thicker.
There is a crash of thunder. Then a series of flashes
lights up the mist around them. The Vikings are uneasy,
sensing a storm brewing. Suddenly Erik points above them.
The others look up too. They all gasp.
ERIK (hardly daring to breathe) So that is what the sun looks
Above them hangs a luminous yellow globe, its
light just breaking through the mist.
VIKING (to each other) The sun! It's the sun! Look!
SVEN'S DAD (in wonderment) I never though I should live to see
the sun again.
HARALD MISSIONARY Where?
The Vikings all gaze up above them in awe. Harald looks
from one to the other and then tries to follow their
eyelines. He clearly can't see it. Magic music fills the
air. Suddenly the "sun" swoops off to one side and
starts swaying from one side to another.
ERIK Should the sun do that?
HARALD MISSIONARY What are you looking at?
ERIK Look out!
The Vikings scream and flatten themselves against
the sides of the boat, as the "sun" suddenly lurches
down on them out of the sky, revealing for the first
time that it is not the sun at all but a strange
monster with a long neck that disappears off into the
mist and a glowing globe for a head, and huge chomping
jaws. The Vikings are, understandably, terrified.
VIKINGS It's not the sun! It's not the sun!
HARALD MISSIONARY What is it?
SNORRI It's the Dragon of the North Sea!
HARALD MISSIONARY (knowingly) Ah! That's why I can't see it.
As the Dragon of the North Sea rises up again,
however, its jaw apparently drops off and falls to the
deck, and lands on Snorri.
Keitel nervously picks it up and holds it up for
everyone to see. I is a strand of sea-weed. The Vikings
are non-plussed. They look back at their now jawless
monster. Harald Missionary picks up the sea-weed.
HARALD Some dragon! Ooh!
He tosses it back amongst his terrified companions.
Suddenly there is an incredibly loud clap of thunder and
flames shoot out of the mist.
SVEN Look out!
As... unbelievably... a huge monstrous visage looms out
of the mist... It is a creature from the nethermost
depths of the ocean... and the incandescent globe is no
more than a sprouting on the end of its nose!
More fire shoots out from its nostrils and sends all
the Vikings (and even Harald Missionary) diving for the
deck. Then the monstrous head disappears back into the
mist as quickly as it came, taking its light with it...
The Vikings are paralysed with fear for one brief
ERIK Row! ROW!
They all scramble for the oars in a determined
hysteria. Ivar the drummer, in his panic, has set a
ridiculously fast rate and nobody can keep up with it.
ERIK Slower! Nobody can row at that speed!
IVAR (hoarsely) Sorry.
HARALD What's all the panic about?
SVEN'S DAD (in a panic, shouting back over his shoulder) The
Harald gives a patronising smile.
HARALD Children afraid of the dark...
Suddenly there is another roar, and flames shoot out
of the mist and across the deck of GOLDEN DRAGON. One
man, Ornolf Fishdriver, who hasn't had much to say so
far, is set on fire. Another, Bjarni Jerusalem-
Farer, who has and will have even less to say then
Ornolf Fishdriver, leaps out of the way of the flames and
falls over the side.
THORFINN Man over board!
Thorfinn starts trying to fish him out. Ivar has
started to panic and is beating the drum too fast.
ERIK Slower! In... Out...
SVEN (his eyes showing their whites) We're being attacked! KILL!
SVEN'S DAD Not now, Sven...
SVEN I must kill! Kill!
SVEN'S DAD It's no good going berserk against a dragon!
Sven's dad slaps him around the face. There is
another roar from the monster. Erik turns to Ivar.
IVAR Make your mind up.
Suddenly the Dragon's head appears out of the mists
above them once again. There is panic amongst the
Vikings as some start to row faster than others.
ERIK Keep up the strike!
The Dragon's jaws open. Flame licks out, and down
the centre of the vessel. There are screams as the
Vikings leap out of the way. Sven goes berserk again.
SVEN KILL! KILL!
SVEN'S DAD Stop it!
The Dragon's eyes dilate and its jaws open. The men
throw themselves to the deck as if expecting more fire.
But instead the creature's fangs crash into the wood of
the stern of GOLDEN DRAGON.
SVEN'S DAD Shut UP!
Erik looks around at his terror-stricken crew. He
realizes this is an important moment. It is up to him
to save the situation. Suddenly an idea occurs to him,
as he catches sight of the pillow that his mother gave
ERIK Keep rowing!
Erik dashes to his sea-chest under the mast and pulls
out the pillow.
THORFINN Erik! Row! What are you doing?
ERIK (holding up the pillow) It saved my father!
Erik starts to shin up the mast.
Sven's dad is desperately holding Sven back.
SVEN'S DAD Hold it! Hold it in!
SVEN DEATH TO DRAGONS!
SNORRI Has anyone told him we've got a dragon eating our
Erik has reached the top of the mast and is now
right up with the incandescent globe on the end of the
long stalk that grows onto the monster's nose. He
grabs hold of it and swings across onto the
monster's nose. At his moment Sven breaks free of his
dad and throws himself onto one of the Dragon's teeth.
SVEN Red mist!
He bangs his head against the monstrous denture.
Sven's dad looks heavenward in despair.
Cut to Harald Missionary who is offering his bible
to the petrifies Vikings in the prow.
HARALD It's at time like this that you'll find this
book most useful, you know...
Keitel takes the bible from him and hits him over the
head with it.
KEITEL Row! You idiot!
The monster's eyes dilate wildly as they try to
focus on the tiny figure of Erik on its snout. Erik
shoves the pillow up one of the Dragon's nostrils.
Snorri watches Erik incredulously. He shakes his
SNORRI His father went crazy too... Used to take
forty winks in the middle of a battle...
Thorfinn frowns - he has a glimmering of an idea of what
Erik is doing. Erik now plunges his sword through the
pillow in the Dragon's nostril, and feathers immediately
fly into the air.
ERIK Now... take a deep breath.
The Dragon goes cross-eyed, trying to see what's going
on on its snout.
ERIK Go on! Breathe in, you cod-brain!
Meanwhile the Dragon's tongue suddenly licks out around
its tooth. Sven instantly slices through it with his
sword. The bright blood spurts, like bursting a sausage.
The Dragon gives an agonized roar and a sharp intake of
breath. The feathers that have leaked out from the pillow
are instantly sucked inside and the whole pillow
disappears right up the Dragon's nose.
For a moment everyone holds their breath. The
Dragon's eye dilate wildly. Then it wrinkles its snout.
Then it starts what is unmistakably a sneeze.
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA Ah... ah... ah...
ERIK Hold tight!
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA Ah... ah... ah...
Erik leaps back across the mast.
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA CHOO!!
A hurricane of wind and feathers blasts out of the
Dragon's nostrils and hits all the Vikings at once.
Everyone is disgusted by the Dragon's breath.
SNORRI Urgh! What's it been eating?
But the blast has already catapulted the boat into
the sky, and it hurtles through the clouds. leaving the
Dragon of the North Sea far behind. They all look up at
Erik and cheer.
Shot of Erik. He doesn't look too happy.
Neither does Ivar the Boneless, because he too has
just noticed that they are now flying and the ocean is
several thousand feet below them. Ivar screams. The other
all rush to the side to look too.
ERIK No! No! Get back!
Unfortunately they all rush to the same side and the
boat tips over with far more instability than when it
is in the water. Leif and Thangbrand are catapulted
down into the sea. We watch them descend into tiny dots
and tiny unheard splashes below.
THORFINN Who was that?
SNORRI Leif the Lucky.
Others are almost falling out. There is renewed panic.
ERIK Get back!
Poor Erik is still up the mast but has been
dislodged and is now hanging on by his hands, dangling
over the open sea. Some of the men - Thorfinn and
Sven the Berserk amongst them - are hauling themselves
up the almost vertical slope of the deck, trying to
redress the balance. Meanwhile Keitel Blacksmith is
dangling by one hand.
KEITEL I can't hold on! I can't hold on!
Sven worms his way along the edge - at great peril
to himself - and grabs Keitel's wrist just as his fingers
SVEN Got you!
Keitel looks up in Sven's eyes. He is totally at
Sven's mercy. What thoughts are going through his mind?
How is he going to betray Sven in future if he is
rescued? Guilt suddenly overwhelms him.
KEITEL Let me go, Sven.
SVEN What are you talking about?
KEITEL I'm not worth risking your life for.
SVEN I've got you, Keitel Blacksmith. If you go... I
KEITEL For your own sake... For the others... I...
SVEN Hang on...
The boat begins to right itself just as Erik finally
can't hold on any more, and he plummets, straight into
the ship, and through the bottom up to his waist. His
At the same moment the prow of the boat tips and
suddenly they are plummeting down towards the ocean. They
hit the water with an almighty splash. Erik is thrown
clear of the hull by the force of the water now
cascading up through the hole he has made.
SNORRI First we're flying - now we're sinking!
ERIK Well, come on!
He whisks off his helmet and starts bailing. All
follow suit. Night falls.
Some time later.
The Vikings are still bailing out, but the water is up
to their thighs.
IVAR THE BONELESS Who are we fooling? It's hopeless!
Ivar flings down the helmet with which he's been
bailing. The others look at each other. They are
reconciled to the fact that they are going to drown.
HARALD MISSIONARY (hopelessly) Let's sing something!
SNORRI Anyone know any good drowning songs?
The suggestion falls flat.
ERIK Listen! Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil! Maybe
we won't find the Horn Resounding... but at least
we've tried... and at least we shall have died
SNORRI Like fish.
SVEN Shut up.
THORFINN (raising his sword) Erik's right! We'll all meet in
IVAR I don't want to die!
HARALD MISSIONARY Isn't there ANYBODY who'd like to be
christened before we go down?
Silence. A distinct lack of enthusiasm.
HARALD It can't do you any harm...
SVEN'S DAD What do we have to do?
HARALD Nothing... I just immerse you in water...
THORFINN AND OTHERS Get lost...
The ship creaks and starts to go under. Erik picks
his up his sword. The others follow suit.
ERIK Don't let me drown, Thorfinn!
Water starts to pour over the sides of the boat.
Erik and Thorfinn raise their swords to each other.
THORFINN Till we meet in Valhalla.
They all prepare to run each other through. The boat
IVAR THE BONELESS I'm too young! Oh Odin! Not me! Please not
me! Perhaps I'd rather drown...
HARALD MISSIONARY I do wish you'd let me convert you.
Then Erik pauses in his attempt to kill Thorfinn and
looks around. The ship has sunk, but the prow and the
stern posts are still sticking up out of the water, and
the Vikings themselves are only up to their chests.
ERIK How deep is the ocean?
THORFINN Very deep... usually...
The realization gradually dawns on the Vikings that
they're not going to sink any more.
ERIK Wait! Nobody kill anybody!
Fade up on the sun shining down from a blue sky.
The Vikings have fallen asleep where we last saw them
- up to their necks in water. Gradually the warmth of
the sun coaxes them awake - Thorfinn is the first to
look up and see the brilliant shining orb in the sky.
THORFINN What is it?
IVAR THE BONELESS (he panics and turns) It's the Dragon again!
ERIK No.. no, it isn't...
Ivar has turned and is staring at something else.
ERIK Look, the sky is blue...
SVEN'S DAD The sun! That's it!
Ivar, meanwhile, is recovering from the amazement that
has immobilized him. He taps Erik on the shoulder. Erik
turns and he, too, gasps.
They all turn to see they are standing in the
shallow waters of a natural harbour. Above nestle the
white walls of a beautiful city set in a green and
The Vikings wade ashore, enchanted by the paradise
they see before them. All at once Thorfinn spies
something. He draws his sword and they all approach with
caution to find that under a weeping willow tree lies the
most beautiful girl. She is raven-haired, scantily
dressed and fast asleep. The Vikings approach her with
trepidation, their swords and axes drawn. They glance
SNORRI (whispers) She's got no clothes on!
THORFINN It's disgusting.
ERIK Get her weapons.
Sven kneels quietly beside the girl. She stirs.
Sven freezes. The others look around fearfully.
SVEN (whispers) She hasn't got any.
ERIK (incredulous) She must have a knife or something...
But they look. She hasn't.
THORFINN What kind of place is this?
IVAR THE BONELESS P... p...perhaps they've got weapons we
haven't even dreamed of...
Suddenly the girl stirs again in her sleep. The Vikings
retreat several paces and grip their weapons, and
glance around as if expecting an ambush.
THORFINN Let's hack her to pieces.
KEITEL Well, what else do we do?
ERIK How about making friends?
SVEN (with disgust) "FRIENDS"?
ERIK What's wrong with making friends?
THORFINN You don't go through all the hardships of an
ocean voyage to make "friends".
SVEN We can make "friends" at home...
This conversation has woken the girl, Aud.
The Vikings react with terror, take a step back and
raise their swords and axes.
ERIK What did you say?
AUD I said welcome.
ERIK (suspiciously) Welcome?
AUD Well, of course. We always welcome friends.
The Vikings look at each other and at their swords.
They don't think they look that much like friends
ERIK How d'you know we're "friends"?
AUD Well, everyone is friends here on Hy-Brasil.
ERIK Is this Hy-Brasil?
AUD Well, of course.
The Vikings erupt into an impromptu dance of joy,
hugging each other and waving their swords in the air.
AUD Please! Please! What are those?
ERIK What are what?
AUD Those things in your hands.
ERIK These? What are these? They're swords.
Aud instantly recoils with terror.
AUD Oh no! NO! Out them down! Put them down!
The Vikings gradually cease their mock battles and turn
to look at Aud with incredulity.
ERIK What's the matter?
AUD Please! You don't know what you're doing!
AUD Put them down! (To Erik) Please make them put
OTHERS Yes, why?
AUD But surely you know...?
VIKINGS Er... n... no...
ERIK Know what?
Cut to big close-up of King Arnulf.
KING ARNULF The wonderful blessing under which we live here
The king beams. The Vikings shift uneasily. They look
out of place and extremely scruffy in the midst of the
scantily dressed courtiers of Hy-Brasil. Aud sits beside
her father the King.
ERIK No... we don't...
KING ARNULF The Gods decreed that if ever sword spills
human blood upon these shores, the whole of
Hy-Brasil will sink beneath the waves.
King Arnulf beams rapturously at the Vikings,
expecting them to be overjoyed. Instead they are
THORFINN That's terrible!
ERIK You mean if just one persons gets killed?
KING ARNULF Yes! (He thinks: isn't it wonderful?)
The Vikings look at each other, feeling they haven't
THORFINN You mean... you can't kill anybody?
KING ARNULF Right! Isn't it wonderful?
The Vikings are non-plussed.
THORFINN What? Not being able to kill anybody?
KING ARNULF (bemused) Well, of course.
ERIK (interested) How?
KING ARNULF (explaining the obvious) Well... for a start...
er... there's no killing...
ERIK Well, obviously there's no killing.
KING ARNULF Well... [isn't it great?]
THORFINN But how d'you take revenge?
KEITEL (guiltily) How do you punish people?
IVAR How do you defend yourselves?
KING ARNULF (getting a little irritated) We don't have to. We're
all terribly nice to each other. Aren't we?
Aud catches Erik's eye and gives him a dangerously
slow wink. A pause of disbelief from the Vikings.
SVEN All the time?
KING ARNULF Well, of course! We have to be.
He turns and conducts the courtiers, who chant in
COURT "Being nice to each other is what it's all
KING ARNULF (rising as if to sing) You see?
We're terribly nice to each other
We're friendly bold and free.
We never say anything nasty
'Cause we dare not...
COURT (almost singing) No sirreeeee!
They hold the note while King Arnulf looks anxiously at
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.