-=-= TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PC OWNERS =-=-
I. Thou shalt have a 486dx2 running at 66Mhz with an 800Mb
hard disk, 16Mb RAM, SVGA graphics card and Gravis
Ultrasound card to do anything useful.
II. Thou shalt use thy PC to emulate other computers, such as
8-bit machines; play games and talk about ye good ol'
III. Thou shalt be eternally punished in the depths of hell for
thy sins by using "Windows" and "MS-DOS".
IV. Thou shalt not buy software on less than 10 HD disks.
V. Thou shalt laugh at software houses who believe that PC
owners do not copy unprotected software.
VI. Thou must spend hours configuring software to run on thy
VII. Thou shalt pay through the roof for software.
VIII. Thou shalt have outdated equipement within 12 months.
IX. Thou shalt show "Doom" to all non-PC owners and say
repeatedly, "You're machine can't do that!", and not be
surprised when thumped.
X. Thou shalt be a smug bastard and treat all other computer
users with contempt.
(c)2000BC God, Managing Director, Religon plc.
And what about the XXIth: Thou shalt always assume every piece
of software or hardware peripheral, even when it has "Atari" or
"Commodore" (or even "Nintendo") written on it, will work
flawlessly on thy system, and thou should raise thy eyebrows in
indignation when it turns out not to.
Anon (in the gutter)
WHAT HAPPENED ON THE "ST NEWS" RELEASE DATE
by Richard Karsmakers
A new regular column, and hardly a very useful one, but it's a
nice trivial thing and it's not too big anyway, so who'd give a
toss anyway (it's also some promotion for the kind of output that
the forthcoming "Brain Management Utility" database will be
capable of doing).
So...on December 17th the following things have happened:
63 BC Lazarus dies (for the second time, one might add)
1737 John Almon, British parliamentary reporter and
1778 Humphrey Davy, English chemist, born
1807 John Greenleaf Whittier, writer, born
1830 Simon Bolivar, South American revolutionary and
1835 Alexander Emmanuel Rodolphe Agassiz, Swiss marine
zoologist, oceanographer and mining engineer, born
1906 Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet statesman, born
1908 Sylvia Constance Ashton-Warner (Sylvia Henderson),
New Zealand educator and writer, born
1915 Edith Piaf, French singer, born
1916 Toon Hermans, Dutch comedian, born
1925 Rijk de Gooyer, Dutch writer/actor (just about
every Dutch film, literally), born
1931 Yvonne Keuls, Dutch feminist writer, born
1937 Tommy Steele, actor, born
1945 Christopher Cazenove, actor, born
1964 Erik Simon, graphics (ES of the Exceptions), born
1968 Paul Tracy, Indycar racing car driver, born
? Hattie Hayridge, comedienne/actress (Hollie Mk. II
in "Red Dwarf"), born
1994 ST NEWS Volume 9 Issue 3 finished
And that is what happened on this day, December 17th, in earlier
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.