THE STORY BEHIND 'LEISURE SUIT LARRY' by Richard Karsmakers
Before you go on reading this, I must advise you to press F10 or
UNDO if you are under 18 years of age. If you still read on, in
spite of the fact that you might be younger, you might find some
phrases in this text that are not suitable for you. I have tried
avoiding these phrases as much as possible, but the game in
question (being "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge
Lizards") simply is an above-18 game itself and it is very
difficult to get rid of them.
This article is not meant as a true (p)review, but more or less
as a guideline for the dedicated "LSLITLOTLL" players.
The story will start on the next page.
Hmmmm. His tie seems to fit well, at least much better than his
previous ones. He puts his hands in his pockets, searching for
his breathspray - nothing turns a girl off as much as an
offensive smell penetrating the air and coming forth from one's
mouth. Pssh. Pssh. Aaah. It's about time! Larry, one of town's
most notorious womanisers, steps into Lefty's bar and walks right
to the jukebox. Maybe the music will cheer the mood up a bit,
since everybody seems to be sitting quietly, sipping their drinks
and not talking to each other. But as he hears the first notes of
the music with the simultaneous sound of his dime dropping down
in the money box, he realises that it won't. Were these people
living in the Stone Age? Might he just run into Fred Flintstone
around the next corner? He faintly sees parts of his youth flash
by as he thinks back of the music, and decides to join the people
at the bar. Just one chair left. Not your favourite, but it'll
do. "Lefty," you order, "gimme a glas of your fine whiskey!".
When it is brought to him (and after he paid, of course) he
decides to take it to the girl on the other side of the bar. She
might not be a great looker, but look at the muscles in those
legs! Larry gazes at her legs and almost cannot resist the
temptation to touch the silk skin that seems to cover them, when
the girl says sharply: "Buzz of, sucker, or I'll have my
boyfriend take care of you when he returns from the restroom!".
Discouraged, Larry takes his whiskey to the restroom. The girl
mentioning the restroom suddenly made him aware of the fact that
he hadn't gone for some sanitary relaxation for too long a time.
And he could feel it! In the restroom, Larry sees a poor man
lying on the floor, showing all symptoms of being drunk to great
extend. An empty bottle is at his dried out lips, which does not
reveal any liquid anymore. Feeling some pity (Larry is one of
those people that simply cannot bear to see any signs even
distantly resembling human suffering), Larry offers the drunkard
his whiskey. It disappears in his throat as were it a bottomless
pit. The drunkard wipes away a tear or emotion, and offers Larry
his only and most valuable possession: A TV remote controller.
Larry takes it gratefully (remembering the long repair time that
it had taken when his own remote control was busted) and enters
While doing what most people do in a place like that, Larry finds
time to read some of the utterly various phrases on the wall:
"Scott me up, Beamie"....."The Password is: Ken sent me". Hmmmmm.
Sounds like a lot of bull to him. After finishing his duties (and
NOT flushing the toilet, since it nearly made him drown last time
he did it) and removing some toilet paper from under his shoe, he
walks to the washing stand to clean his hands. After all, you
never know what strange deseases you might catch when even
touching the toilet seat. Just in time, Larry notices the towel
(or rather - the absence of one), and he decides not to wash his
hands after all. He'd rather have filthy hands than filthy wet
hands. A glimmer catches his eye as he picks the soap to 'borrow'
it for his own use: A diamond ring. Finder's keepers, and he
resolutely slips it into his pocket.
Now for the casino; one cannot really enjoy nightlife in this
town without the assurance and financial backing of a wallet well
filled with dough. Larry calls a cab and lets himself be driven
to the casino. Ough! These cabs really are a miserable excuse for
public transport, and he wonders if taxi-drivers employ special
people to keep those floors so ghastly sticky. After paying the
cabbie (Larry had had some trouble recently with a taxi-driver
that he had forgotten to pay - his stomach still aches when he
thinks back to it) he walks to the casino. This joint had surely
done well since last time he had been there to rip them off some
of their money: Automatic doors! He didn't even notice a man
walking aimlessly around the entrance with a barrel around him
(obviously covering something that a fanatic exhibitionist would
never want to cover). After walking around a bit in the casino
rooms (where he just happens to find a disco pass in an ashtray),
Larry sits down at a Blackjack table. In less than no time, he
leaves the place with the maximum allowed profit of 250 dollars.
Larry feels somthing itching in his pants. He feels the urgent
need to perform sexual intercourse, but he can't just ask one of
those casino girls to suit his needs. And no willing females are
available on any of the eight floors above the casino either. He
always got this urge when he has won a lot of money. He leaves
the casino after having found out that he did not have any
prophylactics in his wallet and directs the cabbie to the nearest
convenience store, where he gets his hands on a libbed, colored,
lubricated, plaid lubber (with spearmint taste, to be more
precise - or was it peppermint?). You never know where these
London Rubber Company products might come in handy. A bottle of
whine, that he also bought there (as a sort of cover-up for the
purchase of the prophylactic), is soon exchanged for a sharp-
bladed knife with a wanderer. Back to Lefty's for now - Larry
just knows someone who might just make all his erotical wishes
After arriving (and wondering about the devastating rate of
inflation when paying the taxi-driver), Larry greets the
bartender and knocks on a door in the bar, commonly known as "The
Door to 7th Heaven". A peephole opens and a fat man's face
appears behind it. "Wadda ya want?" - "Ken sent me!", Larry
replies, and is immediately admitted to the pimp's premises.
Larry looks around and sees a TV set standing lonely - and turned
off. He notices that the 'on' switch is broken and therefore uses
the remote controller to turn it on, hoping that it might cause
the pimp to direct his attention to the TV set rather than
blocking his way up. No use. Larry pays the required amount of
money (being 100 bucks to be more exact) and goes up. Only when
he enters the upstairs room he seems the grasp the meaning of the
remark the pimp made after he had paid: "Have a nice lay!". A
faint smile touches his face as he looks at the girl that lies on
the bed, chewing some very odd type of gum. The itch grows. Larry
opens his wallet and finds good use for the lubber (with all
these veneral deseases around, this is surely a wise movement
After have done what he came for (and paid for!), Larry leaves
the bedroom, but no sooner than after he had pinched some candy
which he found to be lying around on the hooker's toilet table.
Going down, he greets the pimp that looks up from a TV show and
then suddenly starts laughing. His face colours red as he notices
a kind of second-hand prophylactic hanging from his zipper. He
nonchalantly pulls it off, closes the zipper and throws the used
piece of rubber away. He leaves Lefty's.
He thinks and puts his hands in his pockets, searching for his
breath spray while still thinking - thus displaying an awesome
kind of what is usually referred to as 'multitasking capability'
in the world of computing. Pssh. Pssh. Aaaah. Again, it was about
time! When he re-inserts the little bottle in his trouser pocket,
his hands touch the disco pass. A thought enters his mind. Would
it be useful to go there and meet a nice girl? He decides to go
there (again using the cab services).
Having arrived at the 'Lost Wages' Disco, he quickly convinces
the bouncer to let him through, and soon finds himself standing
in the midst of bright flashing lights and the beat of soft disco
music. He had always loathed disco music or even anything
slightly resembling this phenomenon of musical expression, but
for a good looking girl he was always willing to re-evaluate his
tastes. Again, a smile touches his face when he thinks back of
the affair he recently had with a female disco freak, and another
romance he had with a girl that really was deep into Ravel
("Bolero" and stuff like that). And his eyes caught a gorgeous
blonde indeed: She was sitting on the back of the room, and some
young men were constantly trying to attract her attention by
makes stupid gestures - at the table behind hers. Being one of
the town's most notorious womanizers, Larry didn't hesitate a
moment and sat down next to the girl, after having asked her for
her permission, of course. His eyes scan her body, that seemed to
fit neatly in a tight blouse and possibly even tighter jeans. Her
eyes were deep blue, and her long blond hair fell casually around
her beautiful shoulders. Gosh! This was something else than the
girl he had just ...(censored)...! He gives her the rose that he
pulls from his sleeve as if he were some kind of magician. He's
awfully lucky - this girl just happens to llllove roses!
Assembling all his courage, he carefully kisses the girl on her
cheek (hearing the guys on the other table cursing about
something that he had that they obviously didn't have). She
smiles heartily, at which Larry decides to part from that which
he pinched some time earlier for his own pleasure - the box of
candy. Again, he's terribly lucky - she just lllloves candy!
Larry feels a bit more comfortable now and invites the girl to a
dance. He needn't ask that twice ("I thought you'd never ask - I
just llllove dancing!"), and the girl immediately dashes off to
the dancing floor, at which the music is turned up and Larry
follows her. The music sounds, the lights flash...and they both
practically dance their feet off in a dazzling experience of
speed and physical impossible movements. The girl and Larry sit
down again after a while, and Larry gathers some more courage and
ask her for her name - "Fawn," she replies, "and I just can't say
NO..." (this was what Larry had been waiting for) "...to nice
presents" (Uuuhm). Then, he asks how she'd feel about confiding
herself to matrimony with him. Apparently, he has already
convinced her enough and she kisses him lovingly, blinking her
eye. Yeah, she definately was the marryin' kind! Larry remembered
the "Quicki Wed" service ("Over 1 billion served", the sign
read), next to the casino, and decides to take her there. Now, he
has only found good use for the diamond ring he 'bought'.
Obviously exciting an exhibitionist to great extend, the newly-
wed couple leaves the "Quicki Wed" service a little time later
and immediately decides to go to Fawn's 5th floor penthouse,
above the casino. He could have known - she lived at the place
with the heart on the door (a door which he had never succeeded
to open, and behind which nobody answered each time he called in
search for the ultimate statisfaction). While the girl closes the
door, Larry makes himself comfortable, and loosens his tie. It
didn't seem to fit well after all, anyway. Then she suddenly
throws him on the bed; Larry is a bit surprised but does not
oppose. He'd always kinda liked the more dominant and agressive
girls back in highschool. But then she seems to get some ropes,
hidden all over the place, and ties him to the bed very securely
- and fast.
Larry's thought now follow one another rashly. Is she after his
money? Might she perhaps be a mad playboy killer? Or might she be
a member of one of those 'Woman Liberation' fronts? No; she opens
his zipper and Larry quickly finds out what's happening when she
suddenly starts to make eating motions on the part of his body
that commonly makes men being referred to as being male. Ough!
That was great!
After having cooled her thirst, Fawn disappears through the door,
leaving poor Larry tied to the bed. After having regained total
consciousness, he remembers the knife in his pocket - the one
that he had swapped with the wanderer before ("Good lookin' dudes
like us need something to protect ourselves"). After some more or
less impossible movements he succeeds in using the knife to cut
the rope (and, quite accidentally, also nearly his throat).
Women! You never quite know what you're up to with them. Fawn
seemed so nice, though - as it were an exception between all
other girls he had dated before. He jumps up, closes his zipper
and decides to run after her. Had he done something to upset her?
As I already said, this is no game review but more or less a
story, that also happens to reveal some tricks for those who are
anxious to play the game. I wrote the concept in my Geography-,
Dutch-and Biology lessons, and afterwards I rewrote it using "1st
Word Plus". When I wrote the Biology lesson part, a girl sitting
next to me caught me in the act of writing it and thought it nice
if I would mention her in this article. Well: She's called
Mireille and she's quite nice, about 1,60 metres tall. She
actually went so far as to confide to me her Dutch measures,
which were 75C. She weighs 56 kilograms (which, so she seems to
think, is just a little bit too much). She sends greeetings to
you all, by the way.
"Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizard" is actually
a "King's Quest"-like arcade adventure game, written by Al Lowe
and published by Sierra-on-Line, Inc. I think it's a lot nicer to
play than e.g. "King's Quest" and "The Black Cauldron" (some
other Sierra products). The graphics are quite good, the music is
very dry and the setup is the one the story is about.
Don't think "Larry" is a crude game. All graphics are more or
less censored when they need to be, and the actual plot is not
that pornographic either. It's just much fun to play!
A sequel to "Larry" is already announced, and I can hardly wait
to get my hands on it!
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.