"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
HOW NOT TO UPGRADE
TAFFY AND THE QUEST FOR THE MOST HOLY UPGRADE
by Kev "Taffy" Davies
Yours truly, a 1 Meg Falcon owner (stop laughing), decided it
was about time he upgraded to 4 Meg, okay great. After looking to
see what upgrades were available I decided to order a Gasteiner
product entitled "4 Meg plus board" which I assume is a SIMM
board thingy with 4 Meg, and this was going to be the review of
However, after 2 weeks of waiting worry set in, so I telephoned
Gasteiner to see what was happening. I explained that I had
ordered it 2 weeks ago. The nice lady on the other end of the
line replied "It should be with you some time this week." The
Friday arrived and still little Falcy was deprived of an
increased memory. Time for another phone call. This time I
explained that it had almost been 3 weeks since the order was
placed, this time the nice lady sounded shocked and told me to
hold while she got on to dispatch to see what had happened, she
took my telephone number and said she would ring me back.
I am now waiting for that telephone call. It is 09:30, if they
do not contact me before 14:15 I will contact them (again!).
Time passes again
It's 12:00 and no phone call, this does not look good.
Time passes yet once more
It's now 14:15 and I am going to use the telephone back in 5
Five minutes' worth of water flow under the bridge
Same nice lady on the end of the phone again; she seemed
surprised that no one had got back to me. The delay was caused
by me not adding a 10 pounds delivery charge although the
delivery section reads:
"Small consumables and software items under the value of
£50 please add £3.50 p+p. Other items except lasers, next
day delivery service £10 per box,
Morning next day, normal rate plus £10 per box.
E&OE Prices subject to change without prior notice.
All trademarks acknowledged.
All prices include VAT."
Not a word about normal delivery costing anything, Maybe they
are just trying to pass the buck, maybe it is due to a badly
Anyway I was told it should arrive about Tuesday if it does not
I will contact them Wednesday morning, we shall see...
Time passes, which is a thing it tends to do quite effortlessly
It's 12:41 on the following Monday. I have a gut feeling that I
will not see this upgrade before I return to University in ten
days' time. We shall see if it arrives tomorrow.
The bridges look down and see more water passing
It's now the following Tuesday, 11:03, and I was bored so I
contacted Gasteiner, who now claim that the have sent me a letter
(*) asking for the £3.50 postage (like bollocks they did). Sod
it! I'll send them a cheque for next day delivery.
Without as much as tipping its hat politely, time passes once
It's Thursday, 12:06, and my upgrade has arrived (happy, happy,
joy, joy). I'll fit it tonight. It was however, not a SIMM board
but a standard Atari board - but how cares? Now all I need is a
And the moral of this story?
When using mail order:
a) Always check to see if there are hidden extra costs
such as delivery.
b) If you are unsure about the wording in the
advertisment, contact the company and ask.
c) If you can, pay for "next day delivery". It will
save a lot of hassle.
Legal bit: Gasteiner are a reputable firm and this article
should not detract you in anyway from purchasing their products,
as it is understandable that in any large firm there is the
(*) Its is now ##/##/##, # weeks after the original order and I
still have not recieved this letter, but, hey, at least that
saved a bit of a tree <smirk>.
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.