A VISIT TO THE DELTA FORCE INTERNATIONAL CODING CONFERENCE #2
- or -
WHY NOT TO FORGET TO CHEW GUM IN THE TRAIN
FROM HEIDELBERG TO STUTTGART
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VARIOUS OTHER SUBTITLES THAT ARE SUPERFLUOUS
The following writers contributed to this article. The
editorial staff of ST NEWS wishes to stress the fact that each of
the contributors to this article is responsible for what he has
written. We take no responsibility whatsoever except for which we
have written ourselves.
The contributors to this article as a whole, with exception of
the ST NEWS editorial staff, were (in more or less of an
alphabetical order): 2Stein of ST Connexion (Julian), Abel of
Electra (of the Union now!), Alien of ST Connexion, Armin
Hierstetter (of the German mag "TOS"), Axe of Superior, Big Alec
of Delta Force, Bilbo of Ripper Off, Billy Lakefear (?!), Captain
Headcrash of Total Vision Incorporated, Carnera of NPG, Chaos
Inc. of Delta Force, Chris of Unlimited Matricks (ex-The Garlic
Eaters), Crush of the Menacing Cracking Alliance, Daryl of The
Exceptions, Dbug II of NEXT, Deel of Dynamite Dynastie, Dire of
Animi Dux (Birgir, the Insane Icelander), Dogue de Mauve of the
Overlanders, Dr. Death of Light, DTX Sync of Legacy, Duke of The
Respectables (Der Große Dumme), EVE of Galtan Six/ENS, Fishbone
of ST Connexion, Flix of Delta Force, Ford Perfect of Black
Monolith Team (Michael), Fury of Legacy, Furyo of the
Overlanders, Genital Grinder of Alcoholica (Undead Sprog of The
Lost Boys), Gunstick of the Unlimited Matricks, Headcoder of
Digital Vision, Humungus of the Overlanders, Icaruz of Electra
(of the Union now!), Illegal Exception of Scum Of The Earth,
Jacky of Alien Cracking Formation (or Alien Child Fuckers, or
whatever), Jora of Black Monolith Team, Krazy Rex of ST
Connexion, Leviathan of Light, Lowlife of Sewersoft, Mad Max of
The Exceptions, Manikin of The Lost Boys, -ME- of The Exceptions,
Mega Tri of Light, Mr. Bee of the Overlanders, Mr. Spirit of
Mystic, New Mode of Delta Force, One of Galtan Six, Oxygene of
The Lost Boys, Quicksilver of Mystic, Raphael of Scum Of The
Earth, Ray of Delta Force, Relayer of the Quartermass Experiment
(a.k.a. Jurie Hornemann, Code-God of Holland , Master Of The Whip
and J.), Sammy Joe of The Lost Boys (Mike of the "Maggie" Team),
Schnulz, Scum of Sewersoft, Slime of Delta Force, Stick of
Ripped-Off, Tanis of The Carebears (Coprophagic Necrocannibal
Eviscerator of Alcoholica), Timo Schmidt (of the "Maggie" Team),
The Fate of Unlimited Matricks (Maestro), The One of Vector, Thor
of Black Monolith Team, TLS of Black Monolith Team, Toxic Foetus
Eater of Alcoholica (Spaz of The Lost Boys), Tsunoo Rhilty of
Troll & Co (the Lord of STCS), Typhon of the Overlanders, Tyrem
of The Respectables, Vantage of ST Connexion (Klaus) and Vulcan
This totals to 70 people writing, which is an all-time record in
the history of real-time articles!
I have just immortalised the Overlanders with the award they won
yesterday. Proud French, on their way to international
superiority. Well, one has to say that their "Plasma" screen (or
something like that) was really good looking. Especially when
more than one colour started to 'plasmate', things became
easthetically really pleasing.
Furyo is sitting next to me, reading what I write while gently
bobbing his head up and down on the rhythm of Metallica's
"Whiplash" that is sounding from his ghettoblaster that is
located at the other side of the gym.
My voice is severely damaged, by the way. I feel as if I've been
to a week of heavy metal concerts. All I have done, however, is
death-groaning a bit last night when a was slightly tipsy.
No sleep again! Wot a bastard! I will be glad to get home
tonight, to sleep in my own bed & cuddle up to my lovely wife
Angela!! To be able to have a nice cup of tea. Oh what I'd give
now for a cup of tea!!!
Anyway I must say that it was an honour for Bilbo & myself to be
asked to take part in the judging for the best demo. I think that
the overall results for the top 3 were justified. But, I thought
that the Lost Boys' screen, (chaos screens & acid house musix)
was very, very good indeed. But someone had to win.....
Sammy Joe has been asleep under the table that Richard's ST is
on and he's just woken up, what a sight! Oh, and heeeeeeeeere's
Bilbo. Yes! It's the return of the Zombie Dawn of the Dead.....
I guess that we will be leaving here at about 5 PM as our flight
from Stuttgart is at 7:15 PM. We'll then have a 2 hour flight
when we get off the plane in England (meaning that we should get
home at about midnight).
I think that we will drive to the next party we'll go to, so
that we can bring all our ST gear and it'll also allow us to get
about and see the local sights (i.e. all the good pubs!).
Well time to sign off, I've got a migraine!
Some kind of animal just crept from under the table! It's arisal
is accompanied by a coincidental increase of flies active in the
air around me. It is a cockroach? Is it a pig? NO! It's
Super...er...Schussler! Darn! He looks real bad (but then, he
looks like that all the time when he not invisible).
"That's an insult to all animals, comparing him with 'em."
Last day of the ICC #2 and I'm still thinking what is worth
writing about. Let's have a closer look back onto the last three
First day (Thursday):
We found a fantastic room, about 80 (more or less) mad ST freaks
and an unbelievable hacking atmosphere. Delta Force has managed
to arrange a "magical" meeting.
Second day (Friday):
We might call this day "The day of the MIDI MAZE MONSTERS"! The
guys start playing, fighting, hunting, living and being "Midi
Maze". I'm still feeling the "Midi Maze" Blaster striking me...
Third day (..guess..):
God created the hackers and the hackers created the demos. 10:00
PM, the time when 12 groups had to finish their screens for the
ICC #2 Demo competition and so they did. It was another part in
creating amazing screens (most of them!) on the good old ST.
Congratulations to the Overlanders ....
Last day (today, 11:30):
Hmmmmm, I really don't know what to write about the last day of
this meeting...after all just THANK YOU VERY MUCH DELTA FORCE!!
Timo (MAGGIE Team)
"Two flies are fucking on my monitor!"
This quote lead me to run to Spaz with a photo camera, looking
for the suspect arthropods. Indeed, on one side of the monitor
two flies were sitting on top of each other, at times making
rhythmic movements. It seemed indeed that they were caught in the
They didn't as much as flinch when I photographed them in their
"doggy-style" position. When I came too near with my finger,
however, they flew off. I don't mean cloud nine or something. I
mean actually physically flying off while copulating. They looked
like one fly.
This is really amazing.
"This is actually a metaphore towards Richard and Miranda."
Also, I have solved one of the great mysteries of this
When I came here, I noticed lots of people had black lips - or,
at least, some black powder primarily located on the underlips.
I was baffled by this, but I considered it to be the result of
lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, or just because we were in
Germany. Soon, however, it became apparent that everybody was
having black lips. Some more blackened than others.
This morning I looked in the mirror and saw myself. Including
blackened lips. I was thoroughly stunned. I looked inside my
pants. Nothing was shrivelling and/or falling off. So the disease
was not a serious one. Nonetheless, it triggered some brain cells
into thinking scientifically.
There was no way to determine it.
But then...I saw someone with lips that weren't black. Being a
scientist right down to the marrow of my bones, I decided to tail
him. He walked around a bit, watched some computers, talked a
bit, ate some stale bread and drank some Coke from a bottle.
Drank some Coke from a bottle.
The bottles here are of the standard 1-litre variety: Glass
bottles with aluminium caps. Not the plastic 1.5 litre ones with
I looked at the top of a decapitated bottle. It was covered with
a bit of tiny, black dust.
So that was the explanation of this wholly remarkable
phenomenon. It made me think of a movie I saw once. I believe it
starred Sean Connery and was called "The Name of the Rose".
But I have written enough for now. I feel that someone else
should write something now. That would probably maybe just also
be a lot more interesting (perhaps).
I am tired! I want to lie down!! I have to drive today!!
I finished 'life'!! (again)
Very important message! It would be very nice if the one who
took my walkman headphones with him, could send them back to
So, if you have them send them to ULM, 10 rue de Hobscheid, L-
8422 Steinfort, Luxembourg.
Did you know that the orchestra of Luxembourg is much much
bigger than their army. So you don't have to be afraid if you are
not sending these headphones back....
Actually that was a joke. Send the headphones back, you stupid
Loads of people seem to be either leaving or preparing to leave.
I think the Overlanders will not long be with us, and neither
will be Total Vision Incorporated. Captain Headcrash is stuffing
all computers and cables into a large crate, which is a bad sign.
Some people are going to the swimming pool.
Then again, they may not.
Richard is an utter bastard and I must again correct him on his
information given earlier. NO ONE is going to the swimming pool.
I know this because I wanted to go there as I am as greasy as a
bowl of butter and as no one wanted to drive me there I am going
to smell up the car immensely. I must say that I have found this
The ST Connexion leaves the ICC #2.
It's Tyrem again. Some guys asked us if we are going to make a
Respectables Megademo. I'm sorry, guys. No chance...
I don't think that we will even continue producing demos.
Unlimited Matricks are also pissed off.
What do you think? Shall we go on? Just write to us. Tyrem of
the Respectables, c/o. Stefan Kimmlingen, Paulinstrasse 38,
5500 Trier, West Germany, (Germany) 651/27200.
Our programmer (Duke) is still motivated but unfortunately he is
in the army. If there is a new screen of us, it will be very good
and very original. So watch out. Maybe this isn't the end...
Grrrhhllndlooo!!! Raphael is currently writing. Since this is
the last day of the ICC #2, everybody's leaving. The whole place
will be closed at 8 (eight) o'clock; unfortunately our plane
won't leave until nine tomorrow. So I guess we'll have to sleep
on some fucking bench in the local park, bothered by alcoholics
and Amiga bastards! Apart from that fact this conference really
is great! By the way, if you want to contact us, here's our
addresses: Raphael, Pl- 3805, S-655 90 Karlstad, Sweden. Illegal
Exception, Karlfeldsg. 10, S-754 21 Uppsala, Sweden.
Raph / SOTE
Something very odd just happened. Something that I am not quite
used to. Something I have no idea how to cope with.
Tyrem asked me if I wanted to write something for this article -
as if I haven't already written enough miscellaneous drivel!
But by writing this down I have at least fullfilled his request.
Your welcome, Mr. Tyrem.
Krazy Rex on the keyboard for the first time since the beginning
of the conference. Goodbye and thanks to everybody I met here.
Cool people, cool organisation, cool uh... Well... Tyrem is going
to carry on right now...
Finally, the ST Connexion is about to leave, late as usual.
Thanks to the organizers of this ICC #2 for a great time, we hope
to meet all those people again some other time.
13:00 and some more
I'm leaving now too, since ST Connexion allowed me to share
their car. Thanks to everybody and so on, and fuck the German
Pizzerias (especially the Waiblingen ones).
See ya in another life!
Lots of people are leaving. Computers are being packed, hands
are being shaken, addresses and phone numbers are being
exchanged. The Black Monolith Team is going, and the ST Connexion
too (even though Alien wrote he was already going with them
almost an hour ago).
The place that is vacated by the people that are leaving is
effectively re-filled by various kinds of irritating flying
things (flies, and even a wasp or two).
The scenery here is now quite desolate. Some people are doing
things they want to do before the conference is all over, and
other people are walking around waiting for a reasonable time to
leave (as their planes leave in quite a while).
"The tables are filled by a forest of Coke bottles."
He is definitely right there. The mess is no less than the one
we found in the little castle during the "ST NEWS International
Christmas Coding Convention" before Christmas last year when
everybody had moved to the second location.
And I would not like to be in the shoes of the organisers. They
are the ones that will probably have to clean the loos! This is a
job that's quite disgusting. I can tell you from personal
experience, as I was the ones to do the loos after the Holland
Actually, I reckon Richard is right for I helped him doing this
dirty job and it is not the best memory of my life...
My mates have left and so did the ST Connexion a few minutes
ago. I feel really lonely now ! The only froggies left (except
myself) are Fury and Dbug II. The hall now seems quite empty
without the hellish screams of these mad French guyz...
I won't say I miss Furyo's "I play to the maxi volume"
ghettoblaster but, well, I've the weird feeling of being left
alone in an even weirder country with bizarre foreigners speaking
in strange languages and silly dialects...
Sounds rather uncomfortable, doesn't it ? It's the reason why
I'll leave you now (and Richard's bloody keyboard) and go to fix
some alligator meat (if I can get some in this wyyyyyyyrd
Dogue (not Douge !!!) de Mauve
Shit, I feel like shit. I just tried to sleep a bit but I can't.
I have to drive and I really don't feel like doing it.
Richard is going around slaughtering flies, catching them out of
the air and throwing them to the floor. This stuns the poor
bastards and then he splatters them with chairs, Coke bottles,
disk boxes and the occasional hard disk.
"One down, sevenhundred and ninetyfive to go"
Tim and Jochen are putting the music into the main menu of our
demo. This must be hilarious or something because people keep
laughing and yelling down there.
This place is pretty empty now, there must be about twenty-five
people left or something.
I just read the Electra interview forms they filled in and I
must say that these guys have bad ego problems because almost all
of them entered 'Electra' as fave demo crew.
This should be Alcoholica of course, but people are too thick to
132587Ø12:and a 2£êëøø£ø bit
right now IT IS TIME FOR me spAZ to writE Some SHIT aBouT whAT
has JUSt hAPpenED Over neAR mANikiNS cOmpUter! you see WHat WAS
HAppEnnINg WAs tHaT MAniKin wAs tRyInG tO CoDe A lAMe
mAIn MeNu BuT nOt hE waS nOt dOiNG VEry WelL duE To A SMalL
BLAcK aNd yeLLOW cREaTUre thAt EnJOYS BUzZiNg ArOUNd peOPleS
HeAdS anD theN stINGINg THEM (yO miChAEl)
, of course manikin doesn't like thess small loverbull animals so
he kept flinging his around in a wild fashion and screaming "AAAA
HHHHHHH IT'S A FUCKIN' WASP, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!!!!!!!!!!!( QUOTE TIM).WITHIN A FEW MINUTES THE WASP HAD
GONE AND TIME WENT BACK TO BEING QUITE NORMAL, UNTIL TYREM
DECIDED TO TICKLE TIMS ARM, AND THEN.......
HHHHH A WASP!!!! (WHATA TWAT!) AND THEN AGAIN ALL WAS BACK TO
NORMAL A ND TIM STARTED T O CODE AGAIN, HE THEn decided to
reboot his computer and that loverly little busy cute bee appered
and EVERYBODY SHOUTED ""TTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMM
MMM A WASP, A FUCKIN WASP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Well, what a challenge the above will be. I will therefore not
do anything about it except copying it and editing the copy. Just
to show 'em that one cannot catch a good word processor used just
The Exceptions are now leaving, and so are Electra. So now
things are getting really empty here, which means that there is a
continueing decrease of usefulness to actually continue this
I think it is fair to assume that nothing exciting will happen
here any more. So hereby the conference real time article finds a
proper ending - even though the actual conference will take until
about eight this evening. Fury is still here, as well as The
Respectables, The Lost Boys, The Delta Force, Alcoholica,
Sewersoft and the Scum Of The Earth.
The conference has been very boring for a person like me, but
altogether it was OK. I did enjoy myself quite a lot after the
first day, and the "Midi Maze" compo, the swimming and the
getting drunk was very nice.
I would like to thank Mr. the Posthuma(n) for taking his visual
display unit with him so that I didn't have to drag mine around
in the train.
Maybe some last people will write?
If not, then this will be THE END.
Yeah. So this is the end huh? I have to say that this was a nice
conference, lotsa people, lotsa demos and lotsa fun. Richard is
still going around catching flies, and this place is really empty
now except for the few hundres (mostly empty) Coke bottles and
some kilos of trash lying around. I now have the task of getting
people to pack their stuff since I really want to go now. I can't
wait to get home and dive into my large bed with the nice covers
and the soft pillows and...well...
Right. My last words:
Surprise,surprise...the Icelander is still alive after all what
has happened to him. This conference has been extremly
entertaining for me...I've had incredible amounts of pure fun
here in Germany (and other places as well). I've met many people,
maybe too many people, but still....this trip has certainly been
worth it!! I rode a train for the first time in Holland a few
days ago.. Imagine that! Stefan wants to leave soon...the
bastard! But things are very quiet now,so I guess we won't miss
anything (I hope so...). Stefan's last words were taken from a
bottle of sausages and for those who don't understand German it
means 'extra crunchy'...which sure makes a lot of sense..hmm!?!
Hell,I think I will just quit now...no more inspiration. I've
also got to start packing so...
My last words will be something like these:
"Argghhh,there's a fucking wasp on the monitor...arghhhhhh!!!"
Birgir (the Icelan..ups, arghh, sting, ha! (from the wasp), run)
Epilogue by Richard Karsmakers
At 3 AM I left Leutenbach, to catch the 15:14 S-bahn to
Stuttgart Central Station. This delay was caused by the fact
that, after I had packed all my stuff (including the computer)
Marc Rosocha dropped in. He is the boss and founder of Eclipse
Software, and everybody wanted to talk to him. I also had to
speak to him because I had written the introductory novel for a
forthcoming Eclipse game called "Lethal XCess" that I had to
give to him. He had also promised me a "Monster Business"
original, for which I had written novella and manual some months
ago. I got this, and I was happy.
It was bloody got outside, and the rucksack was still too heavy.
Eventually, I got home at 23:20 to fall into the warm embrace of
the girl I had missed for four days. I had continued to read "The
Bridge", and I discovered it was actualy very good. I got to page
And...er...accidentally, I forget to chew chewing gum on the
train from Stuttgart to Heidelberg again. Darn. My ears still
I nearly forgot.
Below you will find the edited piece of the bit Spaz typed to
piss me off. I would not normally have done this, but I wanted to
piss him off in return. It took me about two minutes to do this.
Right now it is time for me, Spaz, to write some shit about what
has just happened over near Manikin's computer! You see what was
happenning was that Manikin was trying to code a lame main menu
but he was not doing very, well, due to a small black and yellow
creature that enjoys buzzing around people's heads and then
stinging them (yo Michael). Of course, Manikin doesn't like these
small lovable animals so he kept flinging his around in a wild
fashion and screaming.
"Aaarrggh! It's a fucking wasp, aarrgghh!"
Within a few minutes, the wasp had hone and Tim went back to
being quite normal, until Tyrem decided to tickle Tim's arm and
"Aarrgghh! A wasp!!"
Tim quote (what a twat!)
And then again all was back to normal and Tim started to code
again. He then decided to reboot his computer and that lovely
little busy cute bee appeared and everybody started to shout.
"Ttiimm!! A wasp, a fucking wasp! Aaarrgghh!"
A note about real time article sizes.
During the Conference, quite a lot of people asked me if this
was going to be a record length real-time article. I couldn't
reply anything to this, as I was not familiar any more with the
sizes of all the previous real-time experiences written in ST
NEWS. I have therefore looked back a bit at older issues and done
Title Size in Kb Kb per day ST NEWS issue
TEX in Holland 38 19 (2 days) 3.2
The Computer Orgy 70 35 (2 days) 3.5
A visit to TEX 70 35 (2 days) 4.2
LateST NEWS Quest 550 33 (17 days) 4.4
Norway Quest 253 25 (10 days) 5.1
Salon de la Micro 34 9 (4 days) 5.2
ST NEWS ICCC 241 48 (5 days) 6.1
Delta Force ICC #2 250 62 (4 days) 6.2
So the answer is yes, it is a new record.
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.