HIDDEN ARTICLE SIX
- or -
BLOWING YOUR WAD
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HAVING A BALL (ONE)
by Stephen Friedl
This article was kindly sent to me by Austrian Mr. Yannikos with
whom I tend to write a bit recently. He lifted it off Net-News.
It had to be hidden for obvious reasons.
My little sister is an E.R. nurse, and she sent me this item
(typed in by me verbatim). The glossarial terms in [brackets]
suggested by her.
--- start ---
From the "Unusual Case" column of _Aspects of Human Sexuality_,
July 1991, by William A Morton, Jr, MD. Reprinted without
One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER
nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe
his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took
care of men's problems." The patient, about 40, was pale,
febrile [feverish], and obviously uncomfortable, and had little
to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of
angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to
remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-
smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was
swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A
jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down
the left scrotum.
Amid the matted hair, edematous [swollen] skin, and various
exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked
the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he
had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had
closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The
dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up
We X-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted
him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-
spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths
prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of
exploration and debridement [removal of dead skin] of the left
side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved,
and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis
had been avulsed [ripped or torn out] and was missing. The stump
of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal,
debrided, and the vessels ligated [tied off] properly, though not
much of a hematoma [pocket of blood] was present. Through-and-
through Penrose drains [?] were sutured loosely in site, and the
skin was loosely closed.
Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the
hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of
his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the
machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself
alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by
holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-
based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached
orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the
belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the
pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and
landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left
testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the
wound closed and resumed work.
I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-
--- end ---
My sister had two thoughts:
1) Is this covered by Workmans' Comp?
2) In a machine shop somewhere, somebody is asking "Hey
Joe, what's the dog playing with over there?"
Gee, talk about blowing your wad...
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.