ST NEWS Volume 3 Issue 6
Released on Sunday, November 13th 1988
Dedicated to Douglas Adams
YEAH! FINALLY! It works!
Hi folks, here's Ritchie (your ex-editor) again. I will have to
apologize for poor Stefan's spontaneous outburst in the above
line, which he wrote down in the word processor immediately after
actually finishing ST NEWS and getting rid of some of the last
bugs we found (yes....there were some, sadly enough).
Anyway, on this disk you'll find ST NEWS Volume 3 Issue 6,
created on Sunday, November 13th 1988 and published for the first
time in Holland on the HCC days exclusively for the NEW ST Club
Eindhoven (two weeks later). On this disk, you should find the
following files in the PROGRAMS folder:
EXPR.GFA GfA Basic V3.0 program, belonging to the article
about 'Evaluating Expressions'
CLOCK.GFA GfA Basic V3.0 program, that doesn't particularly
belong to an article, but that was adapted from
an issue of the Dutch ST magazine "ST"
WIZARDS2.S Machine code source for Seka versions 1.5 and
higher, belonging to the "Wizards" tips & tricks
article, written by The Exceptions
ST NEWS is Public Domain when used outside the Netherlands or
copied in the Netherlands by a non-commercial PD library. When
you have a commercial PD library in Holland, however, you should
contact us for royalty arrangements (something of 1 Dutch guilder
per sold copy royalties). For all clearness: The copyright for
Dutch commercial PD libraries is located at the ST Club
Copying this issue of ST NEWS is very simple. You can do it by
using a copy program (Acopy or Fcopy) selecting "Not protected".
Copying ST NEWS to your hard disk or another (double sided) disk
can be done by opening the target disk's directory and pulling
the ST NEWS disk icon over it. All the files, including the
hidden ones, will then be copied.
It was good fun being in the seat of the editor once again.
Stefan is keeping an eye on it all, though, and watches carefully
that nothing is entered that doesn't suit him. I can't blame him,
This issue of ST NEWS is dedicated to Douglas Adams, and
therefore you will no doubt find some pretty absurd articles in
this issue. Probably, this tendency will have left us by ST NEWS
Volume 3 Issue 7, which we will desperately try to publish before
the end of 1988. I already caught Stefan writing an 'end of year'
editorial, so I gather that it will be the case.
It is now 22:20 on the day of creation. I will have to hurry a
bit, since ST NEWS has to be TRULY finished in a little over
half an hour so that I can hop onto not too late a train and
visit a certain girl again (a girl that you will no doubt read
MORE about in this issue of ST NEWS!).
I am beginning to feel terribly drunk now. Stefan is currently
trying to gain my attention, vaguely gesturing that HE wants to
type now. He is determined to make this ST NEWS issue the
funniest, weirdest and most mindevaporatingly absurd one ever
realized by any people living on Earth (we won't talk about the
people on Ziljonammy Gamma, who have even done some pretty much
weirder stuff). So here's your REAL editor again, good old Stefan
with his hangover...
First, I want to say: Avoid hangovers, stay drunk. I am sipping
a nice glass of Vieux now and I am becoming more and more
But this issue is already finished. No more programming, no more
article-writing, all that is left now to express my wholly
remarkable feelings is this readme.txt which is not there for me
to start becoming weird again. So just move your Electronic
Rodent to the ST_NEWS.PRG file and slightly press the left button
twice so the program will be run.
Sodom just bursted out in an unsurpassed mayhem of huge sounds
called 'Bombenhagel'. Normally, my only reaction to noise like
this is to swiftly instruct my Stereo to quit the shit, but now I
am really tended to pump up the volume and create a two-man mosh
in my little room. But since there are people living in the
adjacent houses who have created little humanoids which are
probably dreaming about unspoken things right now I will keep
down the volume so the Bambi pictures don't come falling off the
walls in the bedrooms of the aforementioned little humans. Still,
the musical violence doesn't cease to influence me and my mind is
filled with cries of war, storms of fire and naked girls, all
logically intertwined in one big, lustful ... *** CENSORED ***
Sorry, dear reader. I know you don't like to read things like
this. Just realize: I have been computing all day with a Major
Hangover, and right now the effects of this mishap have somewhat
worn off and I feel ready to throw a huge party with unlimited
amounts of alcoholic fluids and hard core heavy metal trash
music, everybody moshing it out and generally having a blast. But
since it is Sunday evening, 22:42 pm and I have to work tomorrow,
I think I should cast myself upon my bed (Tolkien influence
coming through...) and rest untill dawn.
Ooops...I nearly forgot. Have mindmoulding fun reading the
mindthrasingly absurd articles in this mindblending issue of ST
Ha! That's what you think! You bloody egomaniac! The fact that I
lent you your keyboard back again to type something for our
zealous readers, does not automatically imply that YOU can take
over your regular job again. So here am I.....
Get lost you pathetic excuse for a human!!! I am the editor and
you are a mere wurm!! SO....Smash! Bang! (Violent sounds that
defy rational description fill the little room until the roof
virtually pops off)
That's what YOU think (again)! Without ME (ME!!) you would have
been nothing but a wurm yourself! Get lost and shove something up
your.....Crack...Thud!! HAHA!!! Take this...CRACK!!!...WHOP!!...
See this fist??? Meet his big brother!! WACK!!! I am gonna cook
ya, eat ya and puke ya!!! SLAP!! Crush...
At this moment, in the middle of what seems to be the topotype
of a hot fight, something much resembling an apparition sinks
down in the room, just in between the fighting (ex-)editors.
"Stop this hotnow fighting!"
The two youngsters (the remains of them, anyway) stop preying
upon several vulnerable parts of the other's body, breaking some
necessary bone tissue and screaming like hell. They look up at
the person standing there, as if lighted by a golgolflex
"You two were put on earth...for love!"
Remembering something of the J. Geils Band, they both continued
to fight. The apparition gave up and went again.
This is no end to the story.
But we wanted to stop since time is passing. Have fun. Bye.
A slightly bruised Richard Karsmakers (ha. I won)
To run with Hatari, use TOS 2.06 and run FIXED.PRG
To run with STeem, use TOS 2.06 and run FIXED.PRG
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.