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© Knighthawks

ST NEWS Volume 3 Issue 6
Released on Sunday, November 13th 1988
Dedicated to Douglas Adams


YEAH! FINALLY! It works!
 
 Hi folks,  here's Ritchie (your ex-editor) again. I will have to  
apologize  for  poor Stefan's spontaneous outburst in  the  above  
line, which he wrote down in the word processor immediately after  
actually  finishing ST NEWS and getting rid of some of  the  last  
bugs we found (yes....there were some, sadly enough).
 
  Anyway,  on  this disk you'll find ST NEWS Volume  3  Issue  6,  
created on Sunday, November 13th 1988 and published for the first  
time  in Holland on the HCC days exclusively for the NEW ST  Club  
Eindhoven (two weeks later).  On this disk,  you should find  the  
following files in the PROGRAMS folder:
 
EXPR.GFA       GfA Basic V3.0 program, belonging to the article
                about 'Evaluating Expressions'
CLOCK.GFA      GfA Basic V3.0 program, that doesn't particularly
                belong to an article, but that was adapted from
                an issue of the Dutch ST magazine "ST"
WIZARDS2.S     Machine code source for Seka versions 1.5 and
                higher, belonging to the "Wizards" tips & tricks
                article, written by The Exceptions
 
COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
 
  ST NEWS is Public Domain when used outside the  Netherlands  or  
copied  in the Netherlands by a non-commercial PD  library.  When  
you have a commercial PD library in Holland,  however, you should  
contact us for royalty arrangements (something of 1 Dutch guilder  
per sold copy royalties).  For all clearness:  The copyright  for  
Dutch  commercial  PD  libraries  is  located  at  the  ST   Club  
Eindhoven.
 
COPYING:
 
 Copying this issue of ST NEWS is very simple.  You can do it  by  
using a copy program (Acopy or Fcopy) selecting "Not  protected".  
Copying ST NEWS to your hard disk or another (double sided)  disk  
can  be done by opening the target disk's directory  and  pulling  
the  ST  NEWS disk icon over it.  All the  files,  including  the  
hidden ones, will then be copied.
 
GENERAL REMARKS:
 
  It  was good fun being in the seat of the  editor  once  again.  
Stefan is keeping an eye on it all, though, and watches carefully  
that nothing is entered that doesn't suit him. I can't blame him,  
really.
 This  issue  of  ST NEWS is  dedicated  to  Douglas  Adams,  and  
therefore  you will no doubt find some pretty absurd articles  in  
this issue.  Probably, this tendency will have left us by ST NEWS  
Volume 3 Issue 7, which we will desperately try to publish before  
the end of 1988. I already caught Stefan writing an 'end of year'  
editorial, so I gather that it will be the case.
 
 It is now 22:20 on the day of creation.  I will have to hurry  a  
bit,  since  ST  NEWS has to be TRULY finished in a  little  over  
half  an  hour so that I can hop onto not too late  a  train  and  
visit  a certain girl again (a girl that you will no  doubt  read  
MORE about in this issue of ST NEWS!).
 
 I am beginning to feel terribly drunk now.  Stefan is  currently  
trying to gain my attention,  vaguely gesturing that HE wants  to  
type  now.  He  is  determined to make this  ST  NEWS  issue  the  
funniest,  weirdest  and most mindevaporatingly absurd  one  ever  
realized  by any people living on Earth (we won't talk about  the  
people on Ziljonammy Gamma,  who have even done some pretty  much  
weirder stuff). So here's your REAL editor again, good old Stefan  
with his hangover...
 
 First,  I want to say: Avoid hangovers, stay drunk. I am sipping  
a  nice  glass  of  Vieux now and I am  becoming  more  and  more  
inspired. YES!
 
 But this issue is already finished. No more programming, no more  
article-writing,  all  that  is  left now to  express  my  wholly  
remarkable feelings is this readme.txt which is not there for  me  
to  start  becoming weird again.  So just  move  your  Electronic  
Rodent to the ST_NEWS.PRG file and slightly press the left button  
twice so the program will be run.
 
YEAAAAAHAHAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!!
 
 Sodom  just bursted out in an unsurpassed mayhem of huge  sounds  
called 'Bombenhagel'.  Normally,  my only reaction to noise  like  
this is to swiftly instruct my Stereo to quit the shit, but now I  
am really tended to pump up the volume and create a two-man  mosh  
in  my  little room.  But since there are people  living  in  the  
adjacent  houses  who  have created little  humanoids  which  are  
probably  dreaming  about unspoken things right now I  will  keep  
down the volume so the Bambi pictures don't come falling off  the  
walls in the bedrooms of the aforementioned little humans. Still,  
the musical violence doesn't cease to influence me and my mind is  
filled  with cries of war,  storms of fire and naked  girls,  all  
logically intertwined in one big, lustful ... *** CENSORED ***
 
 Sorry,  dear reader.  I know you don't like to read things  like  
this.  Just realize:  I have been computing all day with a  Major  
Hangover,  and right now the effects of this mishap have somewhat  
worn  off and I feel ready to throw a huge party  with  unlimited  
amounts  of  alcoholic  fluids and hard core  heavy  metal  trash  
music, everybody moshing it out and generally having a blast. But  
since it is Sunday evening, 22:42 pm and I have to work tomorrow,  
I  think  I  should cast myself upon my  bed  (Tolkien  influence  
coming through...) and rest untill dawn.
 
 That's it.
 
 BYE!
 
  Ooops...I  nearly forgot.  Have mindmoulding  fun  reading  the  
mindthrasingly  absurd articles in this mindblending issue of  ST  
NEWS.
 
 Sincerely,
 
     Stefan Posthuma
 
 
 Ha! That's what you think! You bloody egomaniac! The fact that I  
lent  you  your  keyboard back again to type  something  for  our  
zealous readers,  does not automatically imply that YOU can  take  
over your regular job again. So here am I.....
 
 Sincerely,
 
     Richard Karsm....SLAM!!!!
 
 Get lost you pathetic excuse for a human!!!  I am the editor and  
you are a mere wurm!!  SO....Smash!  Bang!  (Violent sounds  that  
defy  rational  description fill the little room until  the  roof  
virtually pops off)
 
 That's what YOU think (again)!  Without ME (ME!!) you would have  
been nothing but a wurm yourself! Get lost and shove something up  
your.....Crack...Thud!!  HAHA!!! Take this...CRACK!!!...WHOP!!...  
See this fist???  Meet his big brother!! WACK!!!  I am gonna cook  
ya, eat ya and puke ya!!! SLAP!!  Crush...
 
 At this moment,  in the middle of what seems to be the  topotype  
of  a hot fight,  something much resembling an  apparition  sinks  
down in the room, just in between the fighting (ex-)editors.
 
 "Stop this hotnow fighting!"
 
  The two youngsters (the remains of them,  anyway) stop  preying  
upon several vulnerable parts of the other's body,  breaking some  
necessary  bone tissue and screaming like hell.  They look up  at  
the  person  standing  there,  as  if  lighted  by  a  golgolflex  
spotlights.
 
 "You two were put on earth...for love!"
 
 Remembering something of the J.  Geils Band, they both continued  
to fight. The apparition gave up and went again.
 
 This is no end to the story.
 
 But we wanted to stop since time is passing. Have fun. Bye.
 
 Sincerely,
 
  A slightly bruised Richard Karsmakers (ha. I won)

Download files

Download original issue (.st image)

Emulation note

To run with Hatari, use TOS 2.06 and run FIXED.PRG

To run with STeem, use TOS 2.06 and run FIXED.PRG

Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.