THE GUIDE
by The Nutty Snake
Hello, fellow participant of this party/reader of this divine
medium called ST NEWS. Let me first introduce myself: I am
called 'The Nutty Snake' and am connected to the Dutch Atari-
coding group AEnigmatica. My main task in this group is writing
texts, designing screens, and being weird all-round. Some time
ago, my deranged brain began generating a plan. It was to be the
concept of my first solo-screen.
Let me explain the idea:
Many of you have read, or at least heard of, the famous four-
book trilogy written by the master of British humor himself,
Douglas Adams, called: THE HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.
One of the main characters in the book is called Ford Prefect,
and he possesses a wholly remarkable book: The Hitchhikers Guide
to the Galaxy (what else?). I myself have read these books over
and over again, and decided that I wanted to have the guide,
too.
There was one slight drawback to this plan, or should I say two
major impossibilities: 1) To get an order form from the Ursa-
minor publishing corporation, I would need a Sub-etha
transmitter. The last one I saw vanished (instead of the thing
my aunt gave me which I don't know what it is) and 2) the cost
of the guide itself is not that high; only 27 Altarean dollars
(about 30 American dollars according to the latest exchange
rates) but the packing and shipping costs would set me back
about A$4,000,000,000,000,000.- which I don't own (at this
period in time).
""AHA" I said to myself. "Why wait until I have the necessary
cash? I'll just build my own Guide!!"
So there the idea is: I am currently constructing the first
Earth-bound edition of the Guide. There is only one slight set-
back in my planning: If I had to write all the entries myself,
and conduct all research necessary, I would be occupied for 3
whole years. Since I have to complete a study in those years, I
am obliged to attract co-editors, contributors and writers.
Those are you! I invite you to write anything that springs to
your mind! Anything. Just anything!
BUT: there are some guidelines. These luckily only affect the
form in which you write the entries. Here they come:
- All entries have a 16-character title. All normal ASCII
characters are allowed (If you're not sure if a character is
implemented, ask me).
- On implementing into the Guide, all entries get a 4-digit
number. These will appear beside the list of titles, and will be
the handle with which the user of the guide recalls the entries.
If you want your entry to have a specific number, write it next
to the title (if you can, please write why you want the number).
If you want your entry to be non-listed, write that next to the
title too.
- The main text of your entry will be displayed in pages of 12
lines with 20 characters each.
- Display will be in Upper case only!
- The main editor (me) has the right to change the lay-out of an
entry to suit the guide. I will only remove an entry if it
really REALLY doesn't suit the image of the Guide (So cussing is
allowed, but keep it functional).
- I constructed a convention that incompasses the following: If
you put brackets around a word or some words, you mean to say
that the word or words are defined in the guide too. Use it
freely.
- All participants, please state your name(s) at the end of the
text-file I will get from you. ALL names will be mentioned in
the credits page, and will have a Special entry devoted to them
(Write it yourself! If you don't I will (heh, heh)).
- Please write in English, Dutch or German! (these are the
languages I can understand, and therefore am able to edit!).
Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Danish or French (or Swahili for
that matter) must be accompanied with a certified translation.
(that means: Try to convince ME that the things you say in those
languages are OK!).
- And finally remember the magic entry: 2742!!!!
Well, It seems that my introduction expanded a little during
the last 30 minutes. Following now is an example of an Entry.
GO ON!! WRITE SOME STUFF.... NOW!
AENIGMATICA
AENIGMATICA IS THE NAME OF A BUNCH OF EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL BEINGS,
UNDER THE GUISE OF A DEMO CODING GROUP. THEY ONCE HAD THE PLAN
TO TAKE OVER EARTH, SCARING THE INHABITANTS OF THE INSIGNIFICANT
BLUE- GREEN PLANET WITH A STORY ABOUT AN INTER PLANAR POWER
CALLED ["THE TENT"]. HOWEVER, THE REAL INTER PLANAR BEING CALLED
"THE TENT" WAS SO UPSET WITH THE VAIN USE OF HIS/HER/ITS NAME,
THAT HE/SHE/IT HAS DEVISED A DEVIOUS PLAN TO CAUSE DISSENTION
AMONG THE VILE ALIENS. SO FAR, HE HAS SUCCEEDED ADMIRABLY.
THE TENT
I: FICTITIOUS INTERPLANAR BEING CONSTRUED BY THE DEMO CODING
GROUP/EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEINGS CALLED AENIGMATICA TO TAKE OVER
EARTH.
II: REAL INTERPLANAR BEING TRYING TO CAUSE DISSENTION AMONGST
THE RANKS OF THE MEMBERS OF AENIGMATICA.
Editorial remark:
Yeah. So go ahead. I guess this is the best initiative to have
sprouted from a computer freak's brain since aeons and aeons. If
you want to submit some, just send them on a disk (following the
convention Mr. Snake mentioned above) to the ST NEWS
correspondence address. We'll make sure Le Serpent will get them,
so that your entries may be included in this screen that will no
doubt appear in a major megademo to be launched soon by
Aenigmatica (well, I hope it will not happen too soon for
otherwise the entries will be few).
I have taken the liberty of setting a date after which Le Snake
will start doing the screen and after which you will thus no
longer have to send in submissions.
This date is July 1st 1992.
(I hope you agree with this, nutty one!)
No need to mention that the ST NEWS editorial staff will write a
lot of these, too!
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.