SUNDAY, DECEMBER 23RD 1990
"The Third Day"
PART I
The contributions in all parts of this real-time article were
written by the following beings (in order of appearance):
Richard of the Amazing Cracking Conspiracy, Tanis of The
CareBears (Coprophagic Necrocannibal Eviscerator of Alcoholica),
Sammy Joe of The Lost Boys, Manikin of The Lost Boys, Spaz of
The Lost Boys (Toxic Foetus Eater of Alcoholica), Stefan
(Digital Insanity of The Lost Boys), Mit of NEXT, Chris of The
Garlic Eaters, Red of Omega, Bluestar of Sync, Eric, Zae of
Next, Perceval of Zuul of The Pact, Fury of Legacy, Chaos Inc.
of Delta Force, New Mode of Delta Force, CIA of Galtan Six,
Cugel of Silents, The Flying Egg of Omega, Acco of The Garlic
Eaters, Crystar of the Pendragons, Dogue de Mauve from the
Overlanders, Flynn from Hysteria, Mopy of Ghost Genius of
Hysteria Alliance, Furyo of the Overlanders, Silver of the
Pendragons of Triton Development, Psychoreal of Hysteria, Klaus
of ST Connexion, Mega Cribb, Ian 'Dave Clone' of the Watchmen,
Rob Povey, The Fate of The Unlimited Matrix, Gunstick of The
Unlimited Matrix, Robert (RX2 of MPH), Steve (Miz of MPH), An
Cool of The Carebears, IKI of Hysteria, Vantage, Ford Perfect,
Thor of the Black Monolith Team, Genital Grinder of Alcoholica
(previously Sprog of The Lost Boys), Chris of the Watchmen, Paul
(Zeus of Teknique), Vomited Anal Tract of Alcoholica (though he
may be mentioned earlier already under another name - there's no
way to be sure), HAQ of Omega, Martijn (Lucifer of The Spirits
of Doom), Roland (TS of the Spirits of Doom), Marlon of ST
Connexion, The Nutty Snake of Aenigmatica, Phil of MPH, Relayer
of the Quartermass Experiment of Aenigmatica, Crush, Zokathra,
Terence of the Pendragons, Nemrod of the Pendragons, Fishbone
from the Vegetables, Doclands of the Overlanders, STWARS of
Next, Ziggy Stardust of the Overlanders, Tyrem of the De-
spectacled Testicles (er....The Respectables actually), Gudul
and Adso (that's 62 people, of which one may have been mentioned
twice).
Everybody is responsible for what he has written, and the ST
NEWS editorial staff does not accept any responsibility for what
has been written anywhere - except for the bits written by
themselves.
It is our duty to inform you, dear reader, of the fact that
large parts of this text may be considered 'shocking' or even
'obscene'.
Sorry. We decided to use no censorship.
*****
00:12
At last it's past midnight and we're still up and coming here
in Oss, it seems al quiet on the coding front, there's mainly
just music and games being played, nothing interesting really.
Roland The Weirdo
00:19
Today, thus, is the third day. Deep feelings of inexplicable
emotions shudder through the very centre of our beings.
Stefan and me have just filmed some really gory stuff. Really
abhorrent. The stuff that makes it even more worth to get the one
and only official ST NEWS International Christmas Coding
Convention Home Vid' if you ask me!
We ended by waking up Spaz who had already retreated to the
relative safety of the copying machine room. He started to
scream, not stopping when told to. He looked glazy past the two
persons that were suddenly sitting on top of him. He looked
really pale.
I think we should not have done this as he was even more
shuddered then we have just been.
Well, tomorrow we'll give him a free bottle of Coke.
Yeah.
Today is also the birthday of Fabrice Odero, Fury of Legacy. He
is at the moment, as we have heard, held in 'custody' by the
Alcoholica crew.
He will be 19 or something.
I guess we'll try to enter the underground circuit to
congratulate him (if we can find him at all, 'coz other rumours
indicate that he's out on town with some people).
I need to say one more thing: Get the vid'. It's worth it.
Richard
ENORMOUS LEAP IN TIME DUE TO A CRASH OF THE DISK CONTAINING THE
ARTICLE. THE ONLY THING THAT IS WORTH MENTIONING IS THAT DURING
THIS QUANTUM LEAP IN TIME THE "EUROPEAN DEMOS" GOT FINISHED, FURY
GOT CONGRATULATED (AND SUNG TO) AND THE EARTH TURNED
APPROXIMATELY 162 DEGREES.
11:28
I just heard that today is called the Pack up and go home day.
Well, I think the guys from ST NEWS here have to put up with me
a little bit longer, because my transport arrives on Monday at
12:00. And I don't think that Richard and Stefan would kick me
onto the street! Would you? Surely not! ... Eh, OK, next
subject.
"Does this SCART-Cable inspire you?"
TS quote.
My answer to the above quote/question is no. It doesn't. This
is not because an otherwise good SCART-cable wouldn't inspire
me, for had I been in another mood, I would have constructed a
soliloquy on the qualities of SCART-cables. Or maybe an essay on
the reproductive cycle of SCART-cables in the wild. But as it
is, I'm in quite an uninspirable mood. The reason for this is: I
haven't slept tonight. Not that it's anybody's fault. I just
didn't sleep.
I fuckin' stayed awake all night!
... Sorry, I just had to air my emotions. Ahhh, it does one
good to yell like that, even if it's only on a keyboard.
And the unimaginable is happening!!! I'm getting inspiration!!!
I feel.... Hamburgers!!!! Argl!!! That reminds me! I also
haven't eaten yet. RUMBLE Here we go!! RUMBLERUMBLE!!!! I've got
to find something to eat!!! I'll leave the keyboard now or the
sole purpose of my Quest For Food.
TNS
11:41
I woke up at about 11 this morning, after what has to be told
was another very nice bit of sleep. The room on the attic was now
even more crowded than friday night. There was 6719, ES, Mad Max,
Martin Backschat, Bittner, Level 16, An Cool and another Swedish
person.
Although it sounds terrible, it was pretty OK except for the
occasional snoring and farting.
Then I got down here and I heard that the real-time article had
crashed. This means that the period between somewhere after
midnight and half past eleven has disappeared in an endless void
of non-being.
All I can remember of what I wrote was that I was once again
shuddered by emotions as I read the "Syntax Terror" official
greetings and that ST NEWS was greetings last but (surely) not
least.
It made me feel warm inside. So ST NEWS and this Convention are
worth while after all.
When I came here this morning, I heard that the article had
crashed but I didn't only hear that. No! The Overlanders have
finished their "European Demos". Two fucking disks filled with
astonishing demo material.
"The King Demo!"
Terence (Eric) of Pendragons quote
I immediately ran downstairs to beg Douge de Mauve to give me a
special copy signed by all the Overlanders and Pendragons (and
probably lotsa other Frenchies).
Yeah.
OK. I am now going to 'save and resume' this article. Let's hope
it will then still work!
Richard
11:57
Hello! A little word from the Pendragons ... The "European
Demos" have now been released; it has been real hard work for
some Overlanders (everybody except Humungus in fact, who was
sleeping all the time). No No !! Humungus, you won't stay awake
later than me... We're now coding a little scrolling for the 3.5
kb demo competition. By the pangalactic bypass, Humungus and I
will go downstairs to achieve this sixteen lines tall
scrolling....
Terence (Pendragons)
Note of the co-editor: Which word in the above Pendragons entry
has been replaced by which words by yours truly? Entries for this
non-compo are welcome at any address you want.
12:03
Yoooohoooooo!!!! What about this fucking QWERTZUIOP keyboard.
Where is the "Y" key (very hard to find)? This Convention is
great. We have seen a lot of wonderful things during this
meeting like a lot of very nice girls ("Nou ben ik dan toch wel
afschuwelijk bijzonder benieuwd waar of die dan wel zijn
gesighted", ED.). And of course we have seen the marvellous game
"Enchanted Land" of Thalion. This game is really wonderful and
impressive.
Our other screen for this Convention isn't yet finished.
We have a lot of problems to put our 10 sprites 64*62 in one VBL
but we hope it will soon be completed.
Eh! The "European Demos" of Overlanders are finished and it is
really great.
Goodbye.
Crystar & Nemrod of Pendragons
12:15
I've just experienced how one can worship a bag of crisps when
one is hungry. No f.cking snackbar open in town. I hate Oss.
It's probably the only town in Holland without Mc Donalds.
Mouses turn into cheeseburgers and you can see prints of teeth
on disks if you look very well. RRAAAAAAAAHAAAAHHHHH WANTOEAT!!
I understand that something has gone wrong with the real time
article. Things were quite messed up, I believe. When reading
what happened at midnight, you could suddenly read a story of
what had happened at six PM. Well, Richard will check it out.
Just let him clean up the mess.
"Ik heb honger!"
Relayer's quote.
"Opdonderen. Rot op!!!!"
Stefan quote.
My legs are trembling. Fear fills my body. Let's get outta
here!!
Martijn
12:23
So I woke up at last. At eleven or something some muscles of my
body started making movement, groans erupted from my mouth,
thereby nearly suffocating myself on a terrible B.O. Some other
noises in the room indicated that Tim and the guy from the
Dynamic duo (his name temporarily escaped my mind) were also in
the process of waking up. Some grapefruit juice that I kept
somewhere secret managed to bring back the ability to speak and a
few moments later I finally managed to assume the seatedness of
my posture (Allemugaggies, Stefan, dat kun je toch geen Engels
meer noemen of wel?!, ED.). Even later, I got up, washed and
dressed.
The office was remarkably peaceful. People were sitting
everywhere, serenely computing away and it looked OK to me. The
only thing that happened was that we ran out of Coke. People were
already roaming around the office, searching for bottles
containing the black fluid, but more and more ended up asking me
about it. So I decided that the time had come to use my backup,
10 more crates. After that, there will be NO more Coke. So people
will have to buy their own on Monday if they want any more. I
think 35 crates (420 bottles) is about enough.
Somebody just put up Carcass on a rather large radio and I must
say that the chaotic noises erupting from the machine are a bit
unnerving. I think it's time to split.
Stefan
12:33
Well after a fuckin' sleepless night because of things to
finish I finally decided to sleep, but there was no place left
and if you put yourself in the middle others are walking on you.
Well right now Richard is shooting some kind of human trying to
imitate skinhead muzic with little background muzic of 130
decibels......
Waouuh it's bloody savage....Some are staying quiet either
because they are like that naturally or because they are tired.
I've tried to make a 3.5 Kb demo with mouse sprites, Atari font
scroll, rasters and 20 stars...... First of all nothing was
working and when it worked with the help of good coders it was
taking 9.5 Kb - aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!
AWARD! AWARD for the one who will find a normal person in the
Lost Boys crew.
It's impossible (just have a look at Spaz or Sammy Joe).
Perceval from ZUUL
12:54
Roland is an All-Cola-list.
Richard
12:58
Read this, and read this well, for it may be the last I am able
to write. Several creatures (including TS, Lucifer and the MEGA
ST I am writing on) are rebelling against my voluminous writing-
style.
Q: How can you recognise a Lamer?
A: He has troubles removing the cap from a coca-cola bottle
Q: How can you be sure?
A: Let him do the Lamer-Test in the new Delta-Force demo "Syntax
Terror".
"AAAAARRRRRAARARARRARAGGHGHGHGHLUGLOIOLURIPLOILS'"
CD, Lucifer & Richard Quote.
I hope that the words I write now will be understandable,
because the music that is slamming across this room is of such a
volume that I can't hear what I'm thinking!
Thanx Richard for turning down the volume.
Crush is an Asshole (Obligatory insult to a member of
Aenigmatica).
Why does everybody here have large quantities of cartons filled
with yoghurt? If there is one cow-related beverage I don't like,
it's yoghurt! Especially magere yoghurt (yech!!!!)
Bad news: I had expected to receive "Maggie" issues 3 and 4
this convention. Sadly, Sammy Joe didn't have time enough to
copy them for me, so I will get them in our P.O. Box (which is,
by the just paved intersection, P.O. Box 694, 2270 AR in
Voorburg, Holland).
"I'm no asshole!"
Crush Quote
I hope I don't get the female population of Atari-land on my
neck for this, but the first one of these species has just been
sighted here! (Rejoice! rejoice!)
TNS
13:17
I'm indeed no asshole TNS! Speaking of assholes - you want a
little joke about them?
Man, to a girl walking into the bar:"He babe, I'd sure like to
get into your pants!"
Girl:"No thanks, I've already got an asshole in there..."
Damn, still no inspiration, even though I slept about 6 hours.
I'll let someone else say something...
Crush
13:32
Oh no, still Iki on the keyboard...
Today me and the members of Hysteria decided to make a screen
which would contain some autographs of the most famous guys in
the CP... And we are also taking photos... Oh no I've no more
photo free in my camera !! (so I can't take a photo of my God
Mad Max the best rhaaaa sniffffff).... Bad luck...
Babaouiillllee...
(Whatta reli-nut! ED.)
Iki
13:36
You will not believe this but what you have read above is true.
There is a female roaming around here, and she's located in the
TLB and TCB room. I suppose it's the girlfriend of Ex-Softrunner
and Ex-Hotline member (and current games coder) Dave Boshoven
from my birth town Helmond (which is a shithole, really, down way
south in the Netherlands).
Stefan has just already cleared off some of the accumulated
garbage in the office. Thank God that he had the idea to do this.
Suddenly, the air is a lot better to breathe and it is once again
possible to see each other when you're sitting on opposite sides
of one table.
Downstairs, the scent of a night filled with farts and snoring
is wearing off. At half past eleven this morning, I went down
and I was hit by an invisible wall of goulash-fart smells that
struck me like a gigaton of solid concrete.
These Frenchies certainly have problems with their metabolism
(just like me, as a matter of fact).
As this female is sitting in the immediate vicinity of me, this
means that I can't fart and burp any more, nor yell subsonic
death groans (the kind of groans that are inaudible but do give
the groaner an acute headache) or anything like that.
I am now sedately sitting here, completely numbed by a bit of a
package of painkillers (not the actual package, you dumbo).
Dogue just brought another bit of stuff to merge. This will
follow now.
Richard
Note: The following was typed in earlier, downstairs on a French
keyboard by Dogue de Mauve of the Overlanders. It will now be
merged into this document. The good thing about this is that he
actually wrote it during the time that was lost due to the crash.
By the highroad: I do now understand why the crash happened.
I gave Dogue a copy of "1st Word Plus" (which is also the disk
on which all this shit is saved) and I did this with "ACopy". As
you may (or may not) know, "ACopy" does NOT update the serial
number of the target disk.
Dogue gave me the article to merge yesterday, and since that
involved reading and writing from/to two different disks WITH THE
SAME SERIAL NUMBER this confused TOS terribly and screwed it up.
I guess we can thank heaven that the article we yesterday (which
is 65 Kb in it's raw form) did was OK.
So: ACOPY IS THE FUCKING BALLOCKS' SHITTIEST MOST PUTRFYINGLY
PURULENT SHIT COPY PROGRAM THIS SIDE OF THE KNOWN GALAXY!!
(Shove that up your anal muscle, Eurosystems!)
"01:07
WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRGGGGHHHH!
Here's Dogue de Mauve again (as promised). I don't know if some
other OVR-or Pendragon-members already wrote it, but the
"European Demos" are finally finished (with just 4 months, 11
days, 9 hours, 38 minutes and 15 seconds of lateness).
You cannot imagine (or can you?) how hard it was to have it
running (nearly) perfectly. I reckon that Mr Bee & MCoder made
great work with the protection (they were still coding when most
of us had left to sleep). Thanx, guys!
Now, I guess that the Overlanders will rest a bit before our
next demo (although there could be another demo with all screens
that weren't used in the "European" in a few months). Our next
project is the "Poseidon Demo", a big one that will probably
take one year before releasing (see ya next Xmas!).
By the way, we will perhaps also take part to a few demos from
various crews & guys...
Did I talk about the "Syntax Terror" demo? No??? Too bad!
It's a great demo, very well finished and generally brilliant
(many guys are addicted by the SHANGAI-like game).
Congratulatons to all guys who took part in it and especially
to Delta Force who organized everything...
The TCB guys left us this morning (too bad, I was sleeping and
couldn't say "Goodbye!") and so did Sammy Joe from the Lost
Boys. But there are still lotsa great guys who will stay until
tomorrow afternoon (I hope I can take a few nice pictures).
I would like to send a special mention to Stefan Posthuma (also
called "Stef the post") who organized this convention. I mean,
his role is vital. He spent his days organizing everything,
gathering all garbage and empty Coca Cola bottles and so on...
This is boring as hell can be and I must say this guy deserves
our consideration and respect (we shall show him that we care
about his work there...).
OK. Ziggy and MCoder need another machine to finish their 3.5 Kb
vector graphix demo so I'll have to stop here. Before leaving,
since I'm not sure I'll be able to write more stuff, I would
like to send a big "HI!" to all guys at this convention (no
lamers, there!).
May the Mauve bless you all!
Dogue de Mauve"
13:58
At last Bitchard Karsmakers is gone and I have a chance to write
some shit down. Let's talk about "Speedball II", I just saw it
being played by Marc and Dave and it's great! Everyone should
buy this mega game, DON'T COPY IT! The Bitmaps deserve a well
paid job when they're producing such quality stuff.
Roland
14:01
I agree with Roland. Of course, the version Marc and Dave are
playing is original too! You know, Roland stinks. He should take
a shower. There is no shower, so he must do it at the swimming
pool. An Cool has deserted us already to rot here, but just
before he left he invited me for a copy-party in Sweden. I don't
know when that will happen, but I'll sure be there. Yeah!
Martijn
14:13
Once again I have some time to type some more in this article.
All's still going well, I just handed out lotsa copies of my
Message of the Day, telling everybody what time the food will
arrive and that we have to move to the other office tonight.
Richard is still busy filming everybody for the vid'. I think
he just did the Sprits of Doom, the notorious Dutchies who have
desecrated this article more than once. According to Richard,
they were quite funny. But I think that the most hilarious one
sofar is the one by Alcoholica. I had pains in my stomach from
laughing when filming that one. Just wait for the vid' - it will
be brilliant.
I think it is safe to say that this convention is a success.
You don't know how much that pleases me. I had quite some
sleepless nights over it.
The Lost Boys' plans have been changed a million times over the
last few days. Tim and Fabian are now busy making a screen with
stuff they planned for the Mega Demo (provisional title of
course), but we learned that some other guys (Inner Circle,
ED.) were doing things that Tim had already done, so in order to
beat them, we have to release it NOW. So they are hectically
doing it but who knows what will change now. Anyway, if they pull
off what they wanted, it will be quite amazing.
"Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhh!!!!!"
Tim quote
Stefan
14:35
Yep, Stefan is right in the above: Martijn and me have been
writing quite a lot during the past few hours, but since nobody
else wants to do something we just feel a little obliged to add
some helpful or not so helpful now and then. I want to notify
you of the fact that there are two Amiga(yuk!) owners roaming
around here, there's even a Amiga(vomit!) present here! Has
Stefan gone stock-raving mad?! And above all those bleedin'
Amiga(puke!) freaks even had the guts to turn down the volume of
the ghettoblaster that's centred in the TLB&TCB room; I suggest
we slaughter them and feed them to the pigs (like Inner Circle
for instance). There's a very annoying person called Alex (from
Aenigmatica) behind me who is very anxious to write something,
so before he starts to strangle me I'll just stop.
Roland
14:43
Back with a full stomach am I, Le Nutty Snake. We (Relayer and
I) found food in the least likely place: An Ice Salon. After
trying out unsuccessfully 2 snackbars, a Chinese restaurant and
an Italian pizzeria, we spotted a few Convention-attendenders
leaving this Ice-establishment, wandering off into the distance.
"Hey!" we thought, "What can be edible enough for those guys to
go in there?". We entered, and to our surprise the building also
contained a SnackBar!!! Saved at last!
Well, I'm going to try to make my own 3.5k demo now, so I'm off
again, but not for long, as you will undoubtedly have percieved
on previous occasions.
TNS
15:00
Here is Fishbone from the Vegetables typing... Ajrarn and me
(from the ST Connexion) are going to leave very soon, so as to
be back in Paris before midnight. The rest of the ST Connexion
team will undoubtedly follow us soon, 'coz none of them want to
be caught in the moving of 7:00 pm (the Convention leaves its
current location to free the offices and clean them out). The
"Bless Dis Mess Demo", that was supposed to be released during
this Convention (just as the "Syntax Terror" and the "European
Demos"), isn't at all finished, partly because of the Ajrarn's
unbeatable laziness, and partly because of Alien's (the coder of
the main menu) very strange code... In fact, most of us spent
this Convention drinking beer, doing a lot of nothing, and
meeting diverse interesting people. The only members of ST
Connexion that really did some work are Vantage and Krazy Rex,
who interviewed lotsa crews for the French ST Magazine. Yet
Belzebub is still desperatly trying to code a little demo for
the 3.5 Kb competition, that could be really very great if he
manages to reach the end of it. Oh. In fact, Ajrarn just told me
that Belzebub just went to the swimming-pool with Mordor, and
that he doesn't care a peanut about this fuckin' demo. Too bad.
As for myself, I collected a few demos and the "Turbo
Assembler", and tried to convince everyone that I was able to
code in Assembler (which I can't).
Look out for the Poltergeist Megademo (and the Bless Dis Mess,
har, har, har).
Fishbone
The end of part six.
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.