"The world is not small - it only has very big ears."
Tanis quote
SOON COMING IN "ST NEWS" - VOLUME 6 ISSUE 2
(ER...THE THIRD UNDEAD ISSUE!)
by Richard Karsmakers
Well, once again the time has arrived for us to try and give you
some kind of glance into the near future of ST NEWS - and once
again the time has therefore arrived to philosophise about life,
time, and (indeed) the future.
Who are we to tell what to do next? Why should we be as bold as
to look in the future (even though it's the near one)? Are we the
ones to tell it all? Why should we spoil the fun of discovering
all on your own what will be in the next issue?
Well, of course, the answers are "You're right. We're not in a
position to, and therefore won't", "Indeed why should we, so
therefore we won't (even though it's the near one)", "No we
surely and most certainly are not!" and "Why indeed. So we
won't".
Am I not a mean mother?
SPECIAL MASTER EDITOR INTERRUPT PENDING
Stefan: What do you think you're doing?
Richard: Well...er...trying to explain that I haven't got a clue
as to what will be in the next issue.
Stefan: You must have some clue, somewhere...
Richard: A bit of it, yes, but not enough to fill this column or
something.
Stefan: You'd better have a bit than nothing.
Richard: Yeah, yeah. Indead.
Stefan: 'Indead'? 'Indead'? What's happening to your English? As
master correspondent, you should know that it's 'indeed'!
Richard: Look who's talking. He who writes 'excited' as
'exited'? Ha (scournful laughing)!
Stefan: Grumpl, grumpl.
Richard: Indead.
END OF SPECIAL MASTER EDITOR INTERRUPT
Wow. Such are the wonders of current day technology.
Anyway. The spirit of the master editor should be kept upright
at any price, and therefore I am willing to get back to the line
directly after the couple of questions above...
So...
Well, of course, the answers are "The ST NEWS editorial staff,
of course!", "Because we are generally very bold (especially if
it's the near one)", "Yeah. Why not?" and "Because it's
commercially viable. That's why."
Well.
SPECIAL MASTER EDITOR INTERRUPT PENDING
Stefan: Right, son.
Richard: Grumpl, grumpl.
Stefan: Indead.
Richard: ?
Stefan: Erm...sorry...indaad.
END OF SPECIAL MASTER EDITOR INTERRUPT
So what may we offer in the next issue of this altogether maybe
not all too unremarkable disk magazine called ST NEWS?
I have reason to believe that Mr. Douglas Adams is back from his
visit to France, which gives me reason to believe that he may
have answered my letter that I sent to him quite a while ago. In
this letter, apart from complimenting him a lot, I wrote down a
couple of questions (by means of interview). So we may have a
Douglas Adams interview coming up.
Then again, we may not.
I am still waiting to receive "Powermonger" from Electronic
Arts, but as we're 'undead' and don't keep into touch with
magazines a lot, everything points to them having thrown me off
their review list. This may lead to me getting a copy through
alternative sources and writing a review off that - mainly
because I have some nifty ideas drifting through my head for its
novel introduction (that's playing with words in a way Relayer
would - Internal Joke!!) featuring Zantar, Drag the Insanely
Witty One, and of course Cronos Jehannum Warchild.
Ahum.
Further, I have reason to believe that Math has some more
adventure solution up his sleeve, so you may see those as well.
Our regular columns will also be present again (I bet you're
waiting for those....er...well maybe not).
Reviews of "Superbase Professional 3", "Chameleon", "Lemmings",
"Simulcra", "Speedball II" (yes, I know we are late) and "A
Prehistoric Tale" are also in the pipeline.....er....
Let's cut this crap and get all this shit down in a clear,
readable form (thus making sure you don't have to weed though
enormous amounts of proze to filter it out).
Solutions:
Leisure Suit Larry III
(and probably more)
Reviews:
Powermonger
Simulcra
A Prehistoric Tale
Speedball II
Superbase Professional 3
Lemmings
Gods
(Of course)
The Killing Game Show
Chameleon
(and maybe - very likely - more)
Features:
More fantasy fiction/science fiction/cyberpunk drivel
(No offense, Mr, Special Master Editor!)
(For I'll probably write some of it myself)
Interview with Douglas Adams
(If he ever writes back)
Something about history
(As it is our first lustrum issue)
Education:
Another Crimson Column
(Then again - maybe not)
GfA/MC68000 Tricks
(Likely)
And probably some stuff about viruses on the ST
(As usual)
That's it, chums! I hope nonetheless that this meagre list of
forthcoming (or not) stuff will cause you to harass your Public
Domain Librarian for ST NEWS Volume 6 Issue 2 (i.e. the Third
Undead Issue, that also happens to be a Lustrum Issue).
May the power of whatever be with you.
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.