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Editorial  remark:  This is a slightly X-rated contribution  from 
our machine language course instructor of old.  He found it  very 
amusing and I must admit:  I found it funny,  too.  For men only, 
though  (women tend to hate the things that are said in the  next 
few lines)...

             1. You can enjoy a beer all month long

                     2. Beer stains wash out

             3. You don't have to wine and dine beer

 4. Your bee will always wait patiently for you in the car while
                         you play hockey

             5. When your beer goes flat you toss it

                      6. Beer is never late

                      7. Hangovers go away

    8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer

             9. Beer labels come off without a fight

        10. When you go to a bar you know you can always
                         pick up a beer

                  11. Beer never had a headache

12. After you have had a beer the bottle is still worth 10 cents

    13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another
                       beer on your breath

   14. If you pour a beer right you will always get good head

       15. You can have more than one beer a night and not
                           feel guilty

                16. A beer always goes down easy

        17. You can always share a beer with your friends

     18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer

                    19. A beer is always wet

                20. Beer doesn't demand equality

                21. You can have a beer in public

              22. A beer doesn't care when you come

                23. A frigid beer is a good beer

     24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good

The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.