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? Erik 'ES of TEX' Simon, 1989

WHY THE EARTH IS FLAT by Fr√łystein Hustadnes

We received a letter from Norway which included, amongst other
things, a theory about the fact that the Earth is flat. We
thought it was nice to include this theory in ST NEWS. It's the
perfect introduction to the warped minds of the Norwegians...

Why is the world flat and not round or formed like a cube?
The only answer to that is that God made it like that in The
Beginning. But I can give a more accurate answer to how it
is formed and to why a lot of people believe that the earth is
round. These are the main reasons:

a) The world looks round. If you have ever looked out over the
ocean, you will probably have noticed that the horizon
looks curved. And if a sailship happens to be coming towards
you from behind the horizon, the first thing you will see is the
top of the sails.

b) When a plane flies about 40,076.594 kilometres eastwards,
it will arrive at a place that looks exactly like the spot it
took off from.

c) Globuses are round.

The observations are correct, the conclusion is wrong. I will
first explain how the world is shaped, next explain why
the aforementioned conclusions are wrong, before I will prove my
own theory.

The earth is flat. An exact copy of the earth is put next to it
on four sides. A copy of the earth, turned upside down, is
fastened to the bottom of it. Every copy has its own copies
on four sides. This way, we have an endless amount of earths,
which together make the world. And we have also an endless
amount of suns. These travel in a straight line from east to
west. The very first sun passed our earth a whole lot of years
ago; nobody know how many. But it didn't pass the earth to the
west of us until 24 hours later. This is why Magellan, when he
had travelled from Spain to Spain (Or was it Portugal to
Portugal?) had lost a day on his travel. The suns follow a sinus
curve. Each sun travels in a straight line, but the next sun
will appear slightly to the south or to the north of the past
sun. This is why we have winter, spring and so on.
The earth looks round. I agree with that. But Gro Harlem
Brundtland (The prime minister of Norway.) looks sane. The
reason why the earth looks round is that air happens to bend
beams of light upwards, because light can pass more easily
through thin air than through the thick air near the ground.
A plane will after flying 4etc. kilometres straight forward
arrive at a spot that looks equal to the one it took off from.
The copies of the earth are exactly equal, so when the plane
takes off from our earth, a plane will also take off from the
other earths. When a plane lands at the same spot some hours
later, most people will believe that it is the same plane.
Only we know that it is another plane.
Globuses are round. This is the strongest argument against my
theory. I have not yet found a good way to make a globus flat,
but time will tell.
Now for the prove of my theory. It is very simple and logical.
On Sunday, I climbed a local variant of Mount Everest. It is
pretty high, about 1400 metres, and very steep. From the top
of it, you have a splendid view of the fjord, especially on a
clear, cold day like Sunday was. Well, I was sitting with my
back to a large stone, eating the obligatory orange and drinking
cocoa, when it suddenly struck me: I could actually see the
upside down copy of the earth. You don't have to go to a
mountain's top to study this phenomena; all you have to do is
to look at the sea, anytime. You will be able to see through the
barrier of the water and study the second earth. If you look
down in the water on a sunny, wind-quiet day, you can in fact
see a copy of yourself, staring at you with a silly
expression in his face.

Bitblatter Hustadnes.

The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.