THE PRESIDENT IS MISSING by Richard Karsmakers
This small story is written in honour of everybody responsible
for the huge success of the superb movie "Who framed Roger
Rabbit?". Long live the toons!
Klick.
A resolved look settled itself on the face of the detective as
he inserted the sixth bullet in his .45 and closed the register.
He looked at the newspaper on his desk and the secret document
that lay next to it. "Read & Destroy" could be read on top of it.
He blew a large cloud of smoke to the lamp that sat clutched to
the desk. The rays looked ghostly through the temporary fume. He
held the burning cigarette to the document, waited until it
caught flame and dropped it torpidly in the wastepaper basket.
The flames licked the paper, rapidly reducing it to a
smouldering heap of ashes.
He looked at a small bottle of ink on the table.
"ACME Disappearing/reappearing ink" was printed on its label. He
took the bottle and indifferently put it in one of his pockets.
Eddie inserted the .45 in its holster and adjusted his tie. He
took a bottle of cheap whiskey from his pocket, intending to take
a swig. Then he remembered something written in the secret
document:
"Do not trust ANYONE," he said aloud, "not even your booze
dealer..."
His new booze dealer was a big man with a large, quadrangular
face ornamented with long side burns. In Eddie's opinion quite
the kind of man that wouldn't mind poisoning a poor alcoholic.
He tossed the bottle in the aforementioned wastepaper basket and
left his office. He regretted having done so as he walked down
the stairs. The whiskey might have been cheap, but how many times
had it not helped him to get over a romance that had gone down
the drain, or to get over a case that couldn't be solved, or even
to temporarily forget about his brother's death?
Some of the liquor oozed through cracks in the dust bin.
He stood outside and took a deep breath of New York air. He
stood firmly, legs slightly apart, as if he was prepared to face
the worst. His eyes moved right and left, carefully taking in
what was happening around him without moving his head as much as
an inch.
A police car raced through the streets, its siren making a noise
that seemed to bounce through the inside of his head like a
tennis ball. It ached. The blue flashlights threw disembodied
shadows of a mysterious figure on the wall next to him. The
mysterious figure seemed to be drawing something from his inner
pocket; it could be the suction pipe of a vacuum cleaner, but it
could just as likely be...
The detective quickly drew his gun and aimed at the shadow. It
had gone.
"Well I'll be..." he cursed, re-inserting the weapon where it
belonged, "...seeing ghosts next!"
He stuck up a thumb, and next moment a yellow cab stood next to
him - as if it had appeared out of the blue (which it seemingly
had). A small cab it was, with no roof and a mouth on the hood.
"Yo! Where 'ya wanna go, Eddie?" the cab asked.
"Kennedy Airport, Benny," the detective said, seemingly not at
all surprised by what had just now taken place, "and make it
fast, will ya?"
The cab left in a cloud of smoke; the stench of tires penetrated
the air.
The wind blew rashly through his hair as the detective held on
tight to his seat. Surely, the cab hadn't had any traffic
regulations lessons recently; it seemed principally neglecting
every one rule ever written down with regard to traffic anywhere.
The detective closed his eyes tightly, knowing that it wouldn't
make even the slightest difference whether or not he would
complain about it.
After about fifteen death defying minutes, Benny came to a
screeching halt in front of Kennedy Airport main entrance.
"Here we are Eddie! That'll be...let's have a look...three
bottles of ink."
Eddie fingered the contents of one of his pockets and took out
the bottle of ink. "This ought to be enough, hoodwinker!" he
grumbled as he gave it to the cab.
"Gee, Eddie, thanks! That's worth at least five regular bottles
of..." - "Keep the change, and split!" Eddie interrupted while
slamming the cab's door.
The cab seemed a bit hesitant, not quite knowing what to do
after someone had spoken to him like that. After some seconds of
apparent deep thought, it disappeared as quick and mysterious as
it had appeared.
Eddie walked to the main entrance. A glimmer at the top of a
nearby building caught his attention and made him dash for the
automatic doors at a speed quite considerably higher than he was
normally used to walk.
Cronos Warchild, mercenary and hired gun, cursed in himself,
fumbled with his side burns and dropped his ultra-precision gun.
A commonly used synonym for an animal's solid excrements passed
his lips. He climbed down the building.
"Flight 01.12.09.04.01 for Tel Aviv is boarding now. Would all
passengers please go to..."
There was a sound of some violence coming through the speakers
in John F. Kennedy Airport's main hall. It sounded as if someone
had the microphone taken from him with violence. There was a
muffled cry that sounded like someone was trying to remove an
other one's tonsils - without noticing that they had already been
removed during infancy. It was followed by a delicate sound of
silence. But only for a while.
"...out to Gate E. The flight will leave in a half hour. Thank
you."
Hired gun and mercenary, Cronos Warchild, put down the
microphone and eased his grip on the throat of someone wearing a
Pan Am uniform. The body gently slid to the ground with what
seemed to be a slightly puffing sound.
Eddie walked towards the counter to get his ticket. He had to
hurry, since there wasn't much time left to get to gate E. And he
didn't want to be late.
"But I have nothing to declare!"
The detective looked at where the savage voice pronouncing these
words had come from. It came from the ticket counter; there was
no queue, only a large dude with loadsa muscles, a red piece of
cloth wrapped around his head and an M 60 machine gun in his
hands seemed to be arguing with a blonde piece selling the
tickets. He had a small pouch hanging around his waist, from
which a ticking sound could be heard.
"But, sir, you cannot take that equipment aboard," the girl
said, apologizingly, "I'm sorry. It's regulations..."
The man only grunted, then starting talking to the girl about
the likelihood of TWO people carrying a bomb on board of the
flight being infinitely tiny, and that he had brought one just so
that...
"I'm awfully sorry, sir," the girl repeated while raising her
voice, "would you please be so kind as to..."
"Take a hike, dude!", a threatening voice sounded.
A large, broad man with a rectangular face and long side burns
had appeared behind the girl. He was wearing a Pan Am uniform
that was either badly cut or in need of replacement by one of a
larger size. He looked menacingly at the muscled guy with the red
piece of cloth tied around his head and the M 60 clutched in his
hands.
It was clear that this 'Pan Am employee' didn't intend to repeat
this hint once more without some additional physical interaction.
The muscled guy took a piece of carton from his rucksack on
which was written in a handwriting of most terrible fashion:
"Afghanistan". He went outside, holding up the piece of carton
and stuck up his thumb. A small yellow cab with no roof appeared
from nowhere; the man entered it, after which it left in a cloud
of smoke.
Eddie and the girl were pretty much aghast by the performance of
the man. But....er...didn't his face look somewhat familiar?
Eddie got a sudden craving for cheap whisky.
"Tel Aviv...er....First Class," the detective replied when the
girl asked him to which destination he wanted to go. After typing
something on a terminal, she handed him the ticket.
"Gate C, sir. Have a bon voyage."
Eddie held out his hand for some moments, which he pulled back
when he noticed that she wasn't going to give him anything.
"Stupid broad," he thought, "and it's gate E - not C!"
"On your way to the plane, you will be contacted by our agent in
Kennedy Airport;" Eddie thought while thinking of the secret
document again, "the fact that he might to you seem a bit odd
will be his password."
While walking towards gate E, Eddie again noticed a flickering
of something metal - this time in the shade of a large plant. He
pulled out his .45 and dashed for whoever was hiding there; this
time he would have him!
He ended up holding a rabbit at both ears.
"Pflflfeeeaaase!" the rabbit complained, "don't start yankin' my
ears! I hate it when people do that!"
Eddie released the rabbit from his grip, mumbling somewhat of an
excuse. The rabbit dropped to the ground.
"Would you mind putting away that thing?" the Rabbit asked while
pointing to Eddie's gun. Eddie nodded and put it safely away.
"I'm Roger," the rabbit said, "and aren't you Eddie Valiant, the
famous detective?"
He nodded again, then sharpened his ears as he heard a message
through the intercom: "All passenger now aboard flight
01.12.09.04.01. through gate C. Plane leaves in one minute!"
"Sorry, pal", Eddie said, "but I've gotta go. I've got a plane
to catch. And I seem to be going to the wrong gate as well? If
you won't mind, I'd..."
"I am the secret agent," the rabbit now whispered, "I was told
to warn you that you're sought by an international hired gun.
You'd better watch your steps!"
Eddie didn't have any time to reply or say anything at all. The
rabbit had vanished in a puff of smoke (yeah, toons can do that).
He stood glued to the ground for about a minute; something that
he shouldn't have done, because he now saw flight 01.12.09.04.01
driving towards the take off lane.
Without him on it.
The plane increased speed, slowly but surely. A couple of
moments later, it took off. It went into the sky like a smooth
bolt of fire and melting metal.
A smooth bolt of fire and melting metal?
A rolling, thundering sound could be heard in the hall of
Kennedy Airport. Women started yelling frantically, children
started crying; men ran to and fro carrying boxes full of Kleenex
tissues. The plane had exploded in mid-air and had crashed on a
well known street in New York, killing thousands of business men
and leading to an utter collapse of the dollar index.
No doubt. A bomb had exploded aboard the craft.
A couple of minutes after the plane had exploded and crashed, a
telegram arrived at the desk of the counter girl. She accepted it
with shaking hands, then passed it on to a couple of Airport
security men.
"Didn't I tell you?" they read aloud from the telegram, "signed:
John."
Eddie walked quietly the main exit. Obviously, the hired gun the
rabbit had been talking about was pretty seriously devoted to
killing him. It seemed better to keep a low profile for a while.
The president would probably remain missing for another couple of
days and then there was always time to...
Again, a flickering caught his eye; right behind him. Heavy
steps followed his.
"Third time lucky, eh?" Eddie scorned, and started to run. Heavy
steps still followed him, which also quickened pace.
BANG!
A high whizzing sort of sound past his ear told him that whoever
was picking him for a target surely knew how to do it. He
scrambled outside and stuck up his thumb; next moment a yellow
cab stood next to him - as if it had appeared out of the blue
(which it seemingly had). A small cab it was, with no roof and a
mouth on the hood.
"Yo! Where 'ya wanna go, Eddie?" the cab asked.
"Never thought I was going to be happy to see you, Benny," Eddie
gasped, "back to my place. On the devil!"
The cab left in a cloud of smoke; the stench of tires penetrated
the air. Eddie looked behind him and saw a huge man stampeding
with rage, waving something that resembled a post-space-age piece
of weaponry.
There was a piece of ragged red cloth lying on the cab's floor.
After fifteen death-defying minutes, the cab came to a
screeching halt in front of Eddie's office.
"Here we are, Eddie," Benny said, "that'll be...uh....let me see
...six bottles of ink!"
Many people wonder about the devastating rate of inflation
nowadays, and so did Eddie now. "But on the way to Kennedy
Airport I paid only three bottles!...what..." - "It's a danger-
addition," the cab interrupted, "the dude I had to drive before
you refused to pay and when I started complaining he shoved an M
60 under my hood! He even wanted me to pay for a telegram or
something he wanted to send at the post office!"
"All right, all right," Eddie retarded, "just a sec. I'll get
some ink upstairs."
He got out of the cab, fingering his pockets for the keys. Darn!
Where had he put those blasted keys?! Or had he perhaps lost them
somewhere?
He fooled around with his Visa card, only to find out that the
door was unlocked. Had he then not locked it when he left?
He entered.
As he searched his drawer he suddenly heard a click. He looked
up, only to look straight into the barrel of what seemed to him
like a post-space-age piece of weaponry. Quite lethal it seemed,
too.
Cronos Warchild, mercenary and hired gun, placed a Ghettoblaster
on Eddie's desk and pressed 'Play' on it.
The fanfare part of Strauss' "Also sprach Zarathustra" sounded
through Eddie's dusty office. It reminded him of some dull SF
movie he had seen once.
"Say goodbye, sucker," Warchild said, his voice sounding just as
lethal as his ultra-precise gun that was now aimed at a spot
precisely between Eddie's eyes.
"Goodbye," said Eddie while putting a finger in the gun's barrel
as Warchild pulled the trigger.
BANG!
A commonly used synonym for an animal's solid excrements passed
someone's lips.
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART IV
"SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE LEAD"
*****
OK. Before the real review starts, I'd like to mention that I am
hereby throwing a small competition! You can win a copy of the
game "The President is Missing" for FREE! And all you have to do
is answer a few simple (?) questions regarding the story above.
1) There's an actor hiding in this story. Which one (not Bob
Hoskins or Roger Rabbit!)?
2) There's a SF movie hinted at in it as well. Which one (not
"Who framed Roger Rabbit?")?
3) There's a book title hidden in there! Which book?
4) The name of a popgroup can also be derived from the story.
Which group? One hint: It's no band I like - I hate them!
5) Which were the titles of the ST NEWS reviews that could have
been parts I & II with regard to Cronos Warchild (not
including any other appearances in this issue)?
Send your answers on a postcard (if possible on a beautiful one)
to the ST NEWS correspondence address before June 1st! If you're
female and you send a picture of yourself we might favour you
(the less clothes, the higher the favour)! Please address all
these picture specifically to me!
*****
Quite out of the blue came the review copy of this new game
(made by Cosmi, marketed in Europe by Microprose) dropping in my
mail. I had been waiting a while for "Kennedy Approach" but they
seemed to have forgotten to send that to me. Anyway, I unpacked
"The President is Missing" and I immediately felt inspired to
write the above novelette.
The packaging includes an audio cassette. This cassette contains
extracts of news broadcasts as well as some telephone taping with
several heads of state (including the French and American
presidents) declaring they have been abducted and held hostage.
This audio tape really helps you to get into the atmosphere of
the game: One of crisis and fear, and a possible threat to a
third World War. And don't forget: It also gives you a number of
clues you'll need when performing your job, which is finding out
who's behind the world's worst hostage crisis!
At the start of the game, you log in to a computer system that
is the backbone of the whole operation. Through that computer,
you can communicate with several agents abroad: Give them orders
and listen to what they've found out. It further allows you to
browse through Classified files about well known terrorist
organisation, hired guns, and possible suspects. It is the main
tool to solving the crisis.
You will have to study enormous loads of photographed and
written information, thus gently distilling who did it. When
you've gathered enough proof, you can trace the kidnappers and
find the hostages.
In the game, everything is awfully realistic, especially the
files you'll find in the CIA computer regarding suspects. It's
hard to imagine the programmers store all that info on just one,
single sided disk.
And there also seems to be a second plot you need to uncover,
which is suppose to be even more sinister!
If you're into strategy games in which you have to interpret
enormous loads of picture material, agent info, taped
conversations and a CIA computer full of files, "The President is
Missing" might be THE game for you. The graphics are of good
quality, and a 'save game' feature makes it possible to try and
complete the game in several sessions.
Game rating:
Name: The President is Missing
Company: Cosmi (Microprose markets it)
Graphics: 7
Sound: Not applicable
Hookability: 8.5
Playability: 8
Value for money: 7
Overall rating: 7.5
Price: £24.95
Hardware: Color only
For info, you should contact Microprose, whom I'd also like to
thank for sending the review copy:
Microprose Simulation Software
2 Market Place
Tetbury
Gloucestershire GL8 8DA
England
Tel. (0666) 54326
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.