SPITTING IMAGE by Stefan Posthuma
'So you are not going to take back what you said about Jesus'
The Ayatollah's eyes sharpened. 'No', he snapped. 'Not after you
said that "Satanic Verses" is basically a nice book'.
His Holy Coolness put on his dark sunglasses and grabbed his
guitar. Looking up to the Queen, he said: 'OK mama, we're gonna
rock and roll about this one!'
'Yolly good, remember now lads, I want a nice and clean fight,
so no kicks below the belt and pulling any hair'.
The Ayatollah growled and put on his teddy-bear gloves.
Suddenly, he punched the Pope right in his face.
His Holy Coolness quickly reacted and poked the Ayatollah in the
stomach with his guitar. Ducking a sharp left, he hit the
Ayatollah clean in his face.
The Queen giggled as the Ayatollah fell back with a scream. The
Pope played some quick chords on the guitar and snapped his
fingers. 'Wowee!' he yelled and winked at the pretty nun standing
besides the arena. She blushed and quickly looked another way.
But the Ayatollah had recovered really quick and raced towards
His Holy Coolness who was engaged in a impression of Metallica's
"Sanitarium". With all his might, he hit our globetrotter hard in
the chest. The guitar solo was ended rather abruptly and the Pope
fell flat on his face, completely knocked out.
'Oh my goodness' exclaimed the Queen as she witnessed the
downfall of the groundkisser. The Ayatollah fell on his knees and
mumbled some prayers to the All mighty Allah. Some bishops
dragged the Pope away, and the pretty nun winked at the
triumphant Ayatollah. He walked towards her and straightened his
'Say dollface, have any plans for tonight?', he asked in a low
voice. But the pretty nun did not answer. Her attention was drawn
by Ronald McReagan who came running into the arena, screaming
insults at the address of the Ayatollah.
'So ya think ya can get away with making passes at my Nancy, do
ya? Well I have some news for you boy, she ain't interested and
sent me over just to make sure ya got the message'.
Turning sharply, the Ayatollah faced the raging senior. 'Payback
time' he said slowly. His eyes gleamed as he stuck out his foot.
Blind with rage, McReagan didn't notice the obstacle in his way
and crashed fully into Ghadaffi (who was having a great time
watching the show), throwing them both to the ground sending
false teeth, hearing aids and wigs flying all over the place.
The tumult abruptly ended when the smell of cheap cigars drifted
into the arena. Dimmed by a cloud of smoke, a sturdy figure
entered the ring. As the veil of smoke lifted, the two fighters
ran screaming from the arena, and the Queen stopped giggling.
'No!', the Ayatollah cried. 'Have mercy Mrs. T!' Falling to his
knees, he clutched a hairy leg of the Iron Maiden.
'HA! Mercy? I have long forgotten that word,' bellowed Mrs. T.
The sight of her strapping on her boxing gloves was too much for
the Ayatollah and he passed out. Pushing his body away, Mrs. T.
stood fully erect and looked about with a grin. 'Anybody want to
'Yes', said Adolf Botha as he entered the ring. For a split
second, there was a fearful expression in the face of Mrs. T, but
she quickly regained her cool. Slowly, she approached the
loathsome creature and sent him spinning with a sharp uppercut.
When he recovered, he drew his water-pistol and fired a gust
towards the female counterpart of Mike Tyson. But she was not
bothered by the water and with a crushing right, she knocked him
out. The crowd cheered as the body was dragged away and dumped
with the trash. Throwing her arms in the air, she yelled: 'I am
the Great Leader! The World is mine!'
Turning sharply, Mrs T faced Groovi Gorbi. 'You!' she yelled.
'Come here so I can kick your butt!'. But Gorbi was not
impressed. Assuming a fighting position, he eyed her intensely.
'Come and get me...' he said provokingly. With a loud yell, Mrs T
raced towards the grim figure. The two clashed violently and a
nasty fight followed.
'Perfect.' said the programmer as he watched the monitor on
which two colorful sprites seemed to be engaged in something
pretty violent, and turned off the computer.
'Spitting Image' has always been one of my favourite TV shows.
With crushing satire, they make fun of everything and everybody.
When I heard that there was going to be a computer game made out
of that show, I was really anxious. 'What would it be like'?
Well, it turned out to be something really funny. Gameplay is
super simple. Just pick two leaders and they have to fight each
other. One is controlled by the computer and the other one is
controlled by you. The object is to defeat all the other leaders
(they are: Groovi Gorbi, Ronald Mcreagan, Mrs. T, Mr. and Mr.
Ayatollah, His Holy Coolness and Adolf Botha) and you will have
won the game.
The moves you can make are simple. There are four offensive
moves and two defensive. Offensive moves range from character to
character (including eye-poking, knee-kicking, spitting, punching
and even urinating!). The defensive moves are jump up and crouch.
Each leader also had a 'sidekick', which can be called by
pressing the '0' key on the keypad during the fight. A special
character will enter the field (a flying hamburger in the form of
Superman in Reagan's case) and will strike your opponent.
During the fights, the Queen of England is there to make
comments and to judge the fight.
This game really depends on the graphics and the humorous
touches. The music is also pretty good, one immediately
recognizes the tune of the show. Sound effects are limited to
footsteps and some cries.
Spitting Image is funny, but the gameplay gets repetitive really
quick and there is no depth or whatsoever. But again, there are
lots of comic details to be found in the backdrops (there is a
different backdrop for each leader) and the graphics are really
Name: Spitting Image
Value for money: 7
Overall rating: 7
Remark: Fun, but shallow gameplay
Hardware: Color and joystick only
For info, you should contact:
London SW15 1PR
Tel. (01) 780 2224
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.