A VISIT TO THE DELTA FORCE INTERNATIONAL CODING CONFERENCE #2
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WHY NOT TO FORGET TO CHEW GUM IN THE TRAIN
FROM HEIDELBERG TO STUTTGART
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VARIOUS OTHER SUBTITLES THAT ARE SUPERFLUOUS
The following writers contributed to this article. The
editorial staff of ST NEWS wishes to stress the fact that each of
the contributors to this article is responsible for what he has
written. We take no responsibility whatsoever except for which we
have written ourselves.
The contributors to this article as a whole, with exception of
the ST NEWS editorial staff, were (in more or less of an
alphabetical order): 2Stein of ST Connexion (Julian), Abel of
Electra (of the Union now!), Alien of ST Connexion, Armin
Hierstetter (of the German mag "TOS"), Axe of Superior, Big Alec
of Delta Force, Bilbo of Ripper Off, Billy Lakefear (?!), Captain
Headcrash of Total Vision Incorporated, Carnera of NPG, Chaos
Inc. of Delta Force, Chris of Unlimited Matricks (ex-The Garlic
Eaters), Crush of the Menacing Cracking Alliance, Daryl of The
Exceptions, Dbug II of NEXT, Deel of Dynamite Dynastie, Dire of
Animi Dux (Birgir, the Insane Icelander), Dogue de Mauve of the
Overlanders, Dr. Death of Light, DTX Sync of Legacy, Duke of The
Respectables (Der Große Dumme), EVE of Galtan Six/ENS, Fishbone
of ST Connexion, Flix of Delta Force, Ford Perfect of Black
Monolith Team (Michael), Fury of Legacy, Furyo of the
Overlanders, Genital Grinder of Alcoholica (Undead Sprog of The
Lost Boys), Gunstick of the Unlimited Matricks, Headcoder of
Digital Vision, Humungus of the Overlanders, Icaruz of Electra
(of the Union now!), Illegal Exception of Scum Of The Earth,
Jacky of Alien Cracking Formation (or Alien Child Fuckers, or
whatever), Jora of Black Monolith Team, Krazy Rex of ST
Connexion, Leviathan of Light, Lowlife of Sewersoft, Mad Max of
The Exceptions, Manikin of The Lost Boys, -ME- of The Exceptions,
Mega Tri of Light, Mr. Bee of the Overlanders, Mr. Spirit of
Mystic, New Mode of Delta Force, One of Galtan Six, Oxygene of
The Lost Boys, Quicksilver of Mystic, Raphael of Scum Of The
Earth, Ray of Delta Force, Relayer of the Quartermass Experiment
(a.k.a. Jurie Hornemann, Code-God of Holland , Master Of The Whip
and J.), Sammy Joe of The Lost Boys (Mike of the "Maggie" Team),
Schnulz, Scum of Sewersoft, Slime of Delta Force, Stick of
Ripped-Off, Tanis of The Carebears (Coprophagic Necrocannibal
Eviscerator of Alcoholica), Timo Schmidt (of the "Maggie" Team),
The Fate of Unlimited Matricks (Maestro), The One of Vector, Thor
of Black Monolith Team, TLS of Black Monolith Team, Toxic Foetus
Eater of Alcoholica (Spaz of The Lost Boys), Tsunoo Rhilty of
Troll & Co (the Lord of STCS), Typhon of the Overlanders, Tyrem
of The Respectables, Vantage of ST Connexion (Klaus) and Vulcan
This totals to 70 people writing, which is an all-time record in
the history of real-time articles!
ULM are the best in Luxemburg, but they're also the only ones...
(Very furry, Fury....er...funny, Fury!, ED.)
Yo, man websters! Here is Chris of ULM on the keys. Did you get
the message above? I hope you know that Fury is the guy with the
most smelly socks ever....
Liar! I don't have my smelly shoes with me during this
How to do a screen for the "Punish Your Machine" demo (the party
demo for this conference, ED.)? I'm very tired 'coz going to
Zarathustra and sleeping seem to be 2 unreconcilable things...
Perhaps this is a wrong idea, but the result is the same: I'm
totaly out of order!
Perhaps I will try to do a 48 hours screen... (Lame or not, here
is the real problem). And Mit isn't here... Fuck...
I walk around and see people with peculiar looks in their eyes.
I see them either looking at a demo screen and thinking "Jesus
what shit" or quite the opposite: "Oh my God I wish I could do
that" (which is usually followed by: "How can I get my hands on
that program code!").
For someone like me, who cannot program anything besides some
pretty simple "GfA Basic" stuff, this is slightly boring. Of
course I also drool when I see a good demo screen, but I often
find myself drooling at screens that the pros (i.e. Tim and
Stefan and such) find utter bollocks.
I should have brought my virus killer source and all that shit
so that I could at least do some programming. But without a
harddisk (that refused to fit in my rucksack) this would be
This is the first time I touch this keyboard. Good Bye.
Chaos, Inc. of Delta Force
Hi this is Vantage of the ST Connexion (der große Klaus). We had
quite a long trip to the party, we left Paris this morning at
09:30, and spent about 8 hours on the way... This could have been
improved a lot if Krazy Rex (our private chauffeur) hadn't spent
his time driving the wrong way all the time ! We first went
around Paris 3 times (on the circular highway), without being
able to reach the highway going eastwards... One hour lost there,
and it also caused us the loss of the Overlanders' car, 3 km
after our rendez-vous, and approx. 647 km away from the party
place (great work Cregiresch)!
In Germany, we nearly drove back to Straßburg (???), and got
lost between Karlsruhe and Stuttgart. But finally we made it. A
lot of cool people are here, most of the people from the "ST
NEWS International Christmas Coding Convention" last December,
but also Ripped Off for example. Tomorrow, our German member
(2Stein, better known as Julianchen) is supposed to come at
around noon, direct from Bonn (yeah he is now back from Zaire!).
See you another time...
Ray, Flix (me), Slime and Sammy Joe just had some delicious
Pizzas. ULM and some Alliance guys (Capt. Headcrash, Leonardo)
arrived during our absence. Ford Perfect's harddisk is still NOT
I just saw some coding by Mr.Bee of OVR....it's incredible!
Maybe he's got some more...bye.
Dire of ADX
Did you know that there are only 250,000 people living on
Iceland? Did you also know that they do not actually have any
trains? Did you also know that their clock runs two minutes slow?
Did you know that this is no crap (i.e. it's the truth and
nothing but the truth)?
Yes! It is me! The amazing incredible totally devious absolutely
essential very interesting xylonite-defying Relayer a.k.a Jurie
Horneman is pressing keys in a random order. A quick word from
The Fist : "ghjkghtfgdf" !!! Well, enough of him, more of me!
At last! I am here! And I have been since 12 o'clock! I am the
eleventh person on this convention. I have just returned from a
multi-hundred German marks shopping spree in Stuttgart in the
company of the amazing and altogether ultra-incredible Thorsten
Mutschall, member of TCB!!!
Richard tried to sell me an "ST NEWS International Christmas
Coding Convention" T-shirt, which I have already got, and a
compilation of Psygnosis games. Caffeine re-supply. No cappuccino
??? Fuck it! Coke instead!
I have seen "Hudson Hawk" yesterday and today, and it is utterly
brilliant!!! I think. Either the people who made it have
completely screwed up, or they're geniuses. Richard just had a
mental orgasm, merely at the thought of the possible existence of
a boot-sector which he hasn't got yet. Some people trip on the
weirdest things. I, I like... stuff about Yes, my favourite
group! Okay, this could also be considered pretty strange, but
who gives a fuck.
Urgent recommendation : Buy the new Ice-T CD : "Original
Gangster" !!! L.A. Home Of The Bodybag!
Stefan is sitting next to me, and is mentioning "Terminator II".
The motherfucker has already seen it!!! Tim as well!!!
Aaarrggghhh!!! Well, I saw "Hudson Hawk" twice!!! Stefan is
completely tripping on the mere memory of "Terminator II". I'm
trying to get him off the ceiling. It seems to have been quite a
nice film, and might be worth a visit if you have nothing better
to do, like re-painting your cat. "It's... aahhh..", is what
Stefan will say if you ask him what "Terminator II" was like. Ah
well. I am currently not working on an amazing demo which will be
finished before Christmas and will include 1 Vbl ray-traced
light-sourced 3D graphics with 42 kHz digi-sound over 8
channels... and that's just in the left border. Oh well... what
will I write next?
What I usually do when I don't have any inspiration is write
about the fact that I don't have any inspiration, which always
works quite well because it fills enough lines while I think
about some REALLY interesting stuff, like... err... Like talking
to a guy from the best demo crew from Iceland, Dire of ADX.
Frankly, like some more people I guess, I didn't know there was
a demo scene in Iceland. Obviously there is.
It seems some other guys are here as well, like Tanis and
Manikin. How many computers are in this room right now ? It's too
much!!! There's no room!!! Somewhere, there's a Thalion Megafile
44, monitor and Atari 1040 ST buried among sleeping bags, other
computer hardware and various people.
Richard is telling me about Martin Backschat who is expected to
visit the conference tomorrow, and how he might react to the fact
that everyone is using "FCopy Pro"...
Initial reaction: "Wow, everyone is using my copier. They must
think I'm a great guy. I'm an amazing programmer." Next, some
heavy mental calculating and deducting. Conclusion : "Hey, but I
only sold 4 copies. Maybe not everyone paid for it."
Well, I will keep my waffle, I'm only lulling out of my neck
anyway. Greetings to all and peace.
Jurie Horneman, a.k.a Master Of The Whip, Code-God of Holland,
alias known as Relayer of The Quartermass Experiment (yay!)
So there. In case you didn't know what was happening to you,
then now I guess you do.
Outside it is totally dark now. Even though this conference has
been rather boring for a person like me (a none-coder, I mean)
the time had flown by for the last bit of time. I got some new
bootsectors to recognise in my virus killer, which I generally
like very much and get off on in an extreme way.
I forgot to mention that even some Finnish people seem to have
Well, Tim couldn't resist the temptation of having his ego
boasted by showing off most of the screens from the demo to
everybody. I also found out that some dudes from OVR did a screen
very much like mine. Also, I want to find out who the Finnish
people are because I've never seen one before. They must look
pretty normal though because nobody here is really out of the
ordinary (except Tim of course, for obvious reasons). My name is
shouted across the room so I have to split.
Zi, Dingir Anna Kanpa!
Zi, Dingir Aka Kanpa!
Uauauauauauuauauauaua Utter feastering in human excrements. My
crew companions hath yet not arrived! I am still awaiting the
arrival of Genital Grinder and Toxic Foetus Eater! But whence are
they? I am anxiously awaiting the number one forces ...(CUT)
They have arrived (ED.)
Coprophagic Necrocannibal Eviscerator
So let's finish what Mr. Copro was actually saying. I have seen
people arriving of the Respectables (first time I name them
correctly in one go!): Kimmi and Hawkmoon. Klaus (der große
Dumme) is not here because he is in the army carrying massive
machine guns - or so I've heard. I also hear, however, that he
will be arriving tomorrow. Further, I have also seen various
English beings roam in, which means both persons mentioned in the
bit above by Copro...(etc.).
By the way, the Finnish I mentioned were in fact Swedi... (CUT!)
(I don't know why Richard wanted to write that last thing, but
those were the last words he uttered when we in "ALCOHOLICA",
beat him up and dragged him away! Leave place for the
Please note, dear reader, that the editorial staff of ST NEWS is
not to be held responsible for any of the perhaps somewhat rude
views expressed anywhere in this sequence of characters (except
for the bits about ACF who is really a mother thingie). We
haven't even bothered spell-checking it as they use lots of words
that we have no clue about what they mean.
Ano-genital grume is flowing duuuudes!!!! We need an anal butt
lube pronto! Aaargh, aaaaaarrrgggghh! Much better. It's been 3
hours since I've had anything sizeable stuffed up my rectum. I
just love having large, blunt objects shoved up my anal passage!
Floods of cum are oooooooozing down the stairs... Shit shit!!
STOP!! Grab that tampon, my arse is bleeding unbelievably you
fucker, be more careful. Alright, I will! Please remove that
chair before I can shove up objects of a lesser size!.... I have
a better idea, get that bottle of Fanta (we fully endorse this
product and hope they will give us a shitload free) and pour
some on my arse, that'll lubricate the whole situation. I am
bored, let's mutilate instead! I know about this lame asshole in
ACF! He is a short little bastard with a big nob, and I am sure
that if we stuff it real hard with various items, we can make his
dick hard even after we have lacerated his pathetic little body
and emptied him of his bodily fluids! I'd just love to fill him
with my Love Rocket and taste the loving tastes of anal tar and
coagulated pus! Whaddaya say, Genital, shall we perform our
hating love incision? Yessirreee !!! I myself cannot wait to feel
his gastric juices trickling down the end of my bulbous love
pump. Surely I will erupt into orgasmic glee and drown the entire
convention with my opaque, viscous, life-creating nob juice.
Either that or my dick will explode in a mushy mess of flesh, the
ultimate shit-blood cocktail. Loving dissection of the cold lumps
of flesh that once had the appearance of a low standing being
from ACF! May we meet again in the abyss to where I have summoned
my Whatcher to meet thee!
Coprophagic Necro Genital Grinder!
I am sorry guys, but we don't know the word...what was it?
Censorship or something? We know this may cause offense, but you
can't say we didn't warn you.
That's simply the kind of things you can expect with Alcoholica
As editor of this respectable magazine I do not know entirely
what to think of the views of Mr. Coprophagic Necrocannibal
Eviscerator and esteemed Mr. Genital Grinder. I mean the average
reader might be a bit confused by what they have just discussed.
Let me assure you that it is wholly vulgar and equally disgusting
but since there is a thing called freedom of speech I shall let
them get a away with it this time (again...).
But if they continue to foul this beautiful real time article, I
shall attach their testicles to my car battery and watch them
writhe in agony as their genitals slowly sizzle and eventually
pop. Then I shall tie the remains of their blackened sexual
organs to my vehicle and proceed down the German motorway (while
carefully negotiating mad Germans in little white vans) and later
reclaim their bodies from the German police, claiming it was just
a little game the three of us were playing.
Please understand, dear reader. That Stefan is also but a human.
He therefore also gets carried away - rather easily, as you could
I am not like that.
SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH ALL THAT PSEUDO-ANATO-CARNORAL EXCRETA!!!
Oh Stefan, you tell of actions that will greatly push back our
pleasure boundaries - come! Let us indulge!!!!!
E Bye Gum! (For the uninitiated: A Yorkshire saying).
After all this European sexually referenced blarge here comes
some truly boring text.....
After having walked a few miles in the rain to sample the
delights of one of the local pizza parlours, I am now feeling
Bilbo & myself have just devoured a couple of cheap pizzas &
drank a bit of (nice) German beer, but due to walking back with a
member of Delta Force (who shall remain anonymous....) our 2 km
walk turned into a 10 km nightmare...
We (Ripped-Off) have met some of our contacts here and had good
chats with them. It's funny, when you actually meet people that
you are in contact with but have never met. For the first time,
they seldom turn out to be anything like you imagined...
Everybody, except us, seems to have a screen (or screens) ready
for the "Punish your Machine" demo. I have seen some VERY
impressive screens & some groups are even scrapping the screens
they originally wrote & brought here after seeing some of the
screens by the other groups.
It would appear that almost all people that have been invited
are here - that means just over 100 people. I haven't counted
them all, but I'm sure if I check out Slime's (very rough)
entrance ledger, that this figure can be verified.
Well I'll leave it at that for now and maybe I'll write some
crap tommorrow when I'm a little less tired...
Stick -Ripped-Off Demo CD's-
It is getting pretty bloody hot in here. There must be about 70
or 75 people here, of which the largest part found it necessary
to bring a computer that generates some extra heat. Chris of
TGE...er...ULM beats everything though, because he brought a
synth and what seems to be a complete industrial quality audio
tower of enormous proportions.
Did you know, by the way, that those Finnish...er...Swedish
persons use a 'Sex Guide' magazine for mouse mat (which contains
some pretty explicit stuff)?
Eighty-three people already (so there is, finally, an accurate
number after the previous two entries of two non-
estimatologists)? It seems like the people-entering-per-hour rate
is still pretty high even though midnight is nearing. I wonder
how many wandering beings are this very moment cruising the area
of Stuttgart trying to find this place? Seeing all these people
surely brings back memories of the "ST NEWS International
Christmas Coding Convention". And, boy, am I glad I don't have to
organize anything now. I got a rather nice bootsector off Mr. Bee
from the Overlanders. It seems like our French friend has been
doing a lot of bootsectors lately, he seems to enjoy cramming
code into 480 bytes. I also saw some amazing stuff that Ziggy has
done - it features a rather large full-vector 3D object in
fullscreen. Yeah, fullscreen as in 'no borders'. He must have
some pretty painful routines for this. Richard is going around
collecting bootsectors from everybody. It seems that there is
going to be a new "AVK" (or "UVK" or "VK" or whatever) soon...
(Actually it's "Ultimate Virus Killer" at the moment, so "UVK",
Tyrem quote (being forced to type)
Well, what .... Richard and Stefan forced me to write something
but I don't feel like doing that. (And now, another quick word of
The Fist : "zghrtuiOL" !!!) OK, it's Tyrem again. I don't wanna
tell you boring stuff about the Lost Boys Mega Demo. Only one
We are very proud to have the only guest-screen in it....
Hope that you like it as well...
This is Jora of the Black Monolith Team again.
I've seen some great Demo previews a few minutes ago and I want
to talk about them. Well... The most amazing one is the one by
the Lost Boys (get lost, boys...hahahahahaaa...) (What a stunning
Joke, Mr. Jora. I almost ejaculated, co-ED.).
The main menu of their demo looks a little bit like the "Hunt
for Seventh October" (by the Cryptoburners): A simulated 3D
mountain-scenery which you can fly through with a little
I've also seen some Overlanders Preview screens which were...
even better! Fullscreen Vectors, fascinating colordemos, etc... I
hope they will release their "Ventura Demo" as soon as possible!
I'm also waiting for the new Inner Circle Demo (HANG ON
GRIFF!!!!!!)... Could also be very interesting.
OK. See you soon...
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.