A VISIT TO THE DELTA FORCE INTERNATIONAL CODING CONFERENCE #2
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WHY NOT TO FORGET TO CHEW GUM IN THE TRAIN
FROM HEIDELBERG TO STUTTGART
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VARIOUS OTHER SUBTITLES THAT ARE SUPERFLUOUS
The following writers contributed to this article. The
editorial staff of ST NEWS wishes to stress the fact that each of
the contributors to this article is responsible for what he has
written. We take no responsibility whatsoever except for which we
have written ourselves.
The contributors to this article as a whole, with exception of
the ST NEWS editorial staff, were (in more or less of an
alphabetical order): 2Stein of ST Connexion (Julian), Abel of
Electra (of the Union now!), Alien of ST Connexion, Armin
Hierstetter (of the German mag "TOS"), Axe of Superior, Big Alec
of Delta Force, Bilbo of Ripper Off, Billy Lakefear (?!), Captain
Headcrash of Total Vision Incorporated, Carnera of NPG, Chaos
Inc. of Delta Force, Chris of Unlimited Matricks (ex-The Garlic
Eaters), Crush of the Menacing Cracking Alliance, Daryl of The
Exceptions, Dbug II of NEXT, Deel of Dynamite Dynastie, Dire of
Animi Dux (Birgir, the Insane Icelander), Dogue de Mauve of the
Overlanders, Dr. Death of Light, DTX Sync of Legacy, Duke of The
Respectables (Der Große Dumme), EVE of Galtan Six/ENS, Fishbone
of ST Connexion, Flix of Delta Force, Ford Perfect of Black
Monolith Team (Michael), Fury of Legacy, Furyo of the
Overlanders, Genital Grinder of Alcoholica (Undead Sprog of The
Lost Boys), Gunstick of the Unlimited Matricks, Headcoder of
Digital Vision, Humungus of the Overlanders, Icaruz of Electra
(of the Union now!), Illegal Exception of Scum Of The Earth,
Jacky of Alien Cracking Formation (or Alien Child Fuckers, or
whatever), Jora of Black Monolith Team, Krazy Rex of ST
Connexion, Leviathan of Light, Lowlife of Sewersoft, Mad Max of
The Exceptions, Manikin of The Lost Boys, -ME- of The Exceptions,
Mega Tri of Light, Mr. Bee of the Overlanders, Mr. Spirit of
Mystic, New Mode of Delta Force, One of Galtan Six, Oxygene of
The Lost Boys, Quicksilver of Mystic, Raphael of Scum Of The
Earth, Ray of Delta Force, Relayer of the Quartermass Experiment
(a.k.a. Jurie Hornemann, Code-God of Holland , Master Of The Whip
and J.), Sammy Joe of The Lost Boys (Mike of the "Maggie" Team),
Schnulz, Scum of Sewersoft, Slime of Delta Force, Stick of
Ripped-Off, Tanis of The Carebears (Coprophagic Necrocannibal
Eviscerator of Alcoholica), Timo Schmidt (of the "Maggie" Team),
The Fate of Unlimited Matricks (Maestro), The One of Vector, Thor
of Black Monolith Team, TLS of Black Monolith Team, Toxic Foetus
Eater of Alcoholica (Spaz of The Lost Boys), Tsunoo Rhilty of
Troll & Co (the Lord of STCS), Typhon of the Overlanders, Tyrem
of The Respectables, Vantage of ST Connexion (Klaus) and Vulcan
This totals to 70 people writing, which is an all-time record in
the history of real-time articles!
Vortloddd!!! A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do and there
ain't no sense in runnin'!
A man walks in to the tailor-shop and orders a suit. When it's
finished and the man tries it on he notices that the left arm of
the suit is too short, so he says:
"My left suit-arm is too short!"
"Well," the tailor says, "but if you pull it up a bit it will
The man pulls his left arm up, and as a reaction to that the
suit becomes too short in the neck. So the tailor says:
"Yes, yes, but if you lean your head backwards it will fit."
The man leans his head back and as a result of that the suit
gets too tight around the belly.
"Sure," the tailor explains, "but if you bend your knees it will
The man bends his knees and the suit fits!
"Thank you," says the man, and leaves...
As he walks there, two women pass by.
One of'em says: "Look at the poor man's twisted back!"
"Yeah! It looks awful, but the tailor did a fucking good job!"
I AM KILLING ME!!!!!
See ya later, dudes!!!!!!
Raphael / Scum Of The Earth
Hello we came just now from the local swimming pool ('we' were
Gunstick from ULM, Sammy Joe, two TNT-Crew members, TLS, Jora and
me (Thor) from BMT. It was real fun. That's all I wanted to say.
Thor of BMT
ALCOHOLICA. Everybody wants to fuck us!
Yeah, having any form of sexual intercourse with any member of
Alcoholica surely means instantaneous infection of the sexual
(and various other) organs with diseases so exotic and horrible
that you will change into a horrible mutant that will spend the
rest of its existence in a cage, marvelled over by various
scientists, that will slowly but deliberately be disected for the
sake of modern science.
So I think the only ones that want to fuck members of Alcoholica
are members of Alcoholica (or Stefan Kimmlingen of course).
Hello to everybody !! I'm bored to death I simply want to tell
you that today is my birthday but you don't know who I am, I am
simply QUICKSILVER from the world famous MYSTIC. So tomorrow I am
19 years old. I will come back in a few hours so bye ...
(Congratulations! ED. and co-ED.)
Back from a short visit to the McDonalds in Fellbach. There
isn't much to say about that, really, except for the fact that
this dude of Sewersoft (Lowlife) took about eight hamburgers or
something and that we got driven in the car of virtual person
However, there was something I wanted to mention just before I
went. Unfortunately I didn't have any time 'cause we had to leave
for food, but it was a topic about sanitary availabilities.
The loo in this gym started to stink at about early evening on
Thursday. Now the stench has increased so that you have to
breathe in, run, piss, run, and breathe out.
The worst, however, is that the loo paper is nonexistent. There
was a bit left, but it was lying on the floor and was sprinkled
upon so often that it was effectively rendered useless.
I had to sit down and do some heavy shitting quite desperately
so I was at the end of my advice ("ten einde raad", that's
There was a loo at the McDonalds. It stank, of course, but it
was about four fifths of a trillion times cleaner. I felt safe
enough about contagious diseased, pulled down my pants and
crapped like I have done before only on my holiday to France in
Back then, for twenty minutes all I could say to Miranda was:
"My God. That was a divine crap."
I am wearing a big fucking sleep matress on my fucking head!!!!
Fuck a duck!
Fuck a goat in the ass!!
(Tsk, tsk, ED.)
Raph / Scum Of The Earth
My friend Relayer has left.
"The seemingly improbable has happened: I sold an 'ST NEWS
International Christmas Coding Convention' T-shirt!"
Well, with Relayer gone my life seems to have a less meaningful
meaning. I'm a bit sad now so this is probably the last you'll
hear from me in this real time article.
Buurp, we went just to the Mac. For having some nuke and junk
food. It tasted much better than the things we ate yesterday. OK,
I am going off for a couple of minutes. There is phone booth
down the road where I will try to contact Miranda to tell her the
approximate time when I will be coming (probably tomorrow around
OXYGENE ON THE KEYBOARD...
YOU PROBABLY MAY THINK THAT "AAARRGH" IS A STARNGE BEGINNING.
BUT I HAVE CHOOSEN THIS NAME BECAUSE EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM
INCLUDING ME HAS TO LISTEN TO 2 DIFFERENT PIECES OF MUSIC. ONE IS
COMING FROM THE LEFT AND IT SOUNDS VERY MUCH LIKE PINK FLOYD (WE
DON'T NEED NO...). THE OTHER ONE IS COMING FROM THE RIGHT SIDE
AND IT IS EVEN LOUDER... IT IS THE ICC #2 SOUND MADE BY SPAZTIC-
HIPPI-CHRIS. IN TWO HOURS THE DEMO COMPETITION WILL START SO
EVERYBODY WHO IS TAKING PART IS VERY BUSY FINISHING HIS SCREEN -
OR AT LEAST FINISHING A PREVIEW. I THINK THAT'S ALL FOR THIS
ASTALAVISTA BABY !
Oxygene of TLB (who has a slight problem with the CAPSLOCK key)
What a noise! When I finallz decided to write something in this
big article, some people decided that thez should trz to kill
everzbodz bz plazing VERZ loud music. Thez didn't succed, but
the noice was terrible. It has fortunatelz stopped now, and
everzthing is back to normal: small noises from everzwhere and
some more than small sounds from Tanis and the French guzs.
As zou can see I don't like this kezboard verz much. I can't
understand whz the Germans keep to these strange kezboards. Thez
must have a hell when thez want to use some other guzs computers.
Earlier todaz we went to a swimming-pool a couple of kilometres
from the partz-place. It was reallz nice there with a javelin and
a water-slide. ES of TEX made the famous (E)S-bomb. It was a
reallza big splash. People had to run like rats if thez didn't
want to get drowned bz the huge waves that followed. After the
first (E)S-bomb I was afraid that the pool was emptz, but when I
looked I saw that most of the water was there.
While I remember it I must ask THE CO-EDITOR to forgive me for
not letting him sleep in our mini-bus. When he asked me I was
verz tired and I didn't even know who he was, so please forgive
Todaz I went to a shop halfwaz to Stuttgart and bought a new
SC1435-monitor. Mz old TV didn't even have a SCART-connection so
the picture was reallz bad. The new 1435 is 100 times better and
it's got stereo sound. The price was 700 DM, but I managed to
pursuade the dealer to cut the price with 100 DM. I think the
monitor is worth 600 DM.
When I got back to the partz-place, mz computer crashed. First
I thought it was the new Turbo 16v2-card that caused the
problem, but after a couple of minutes I realiyed that it was the
videoshifter-holder that wasn't alright. I removed the 84-legged
bastard and used the blitter-clips to repair the holder. I
assembled the computer and turned it on.
What could it be this time? I opened the computer again and
imediatelz found the fault. The lead from the videoshifter to
the Turbo 16-card had touched the ground. I isolated the lead and
after that the computer has worked properlz.
I'm running out of ideas what to write, so lets
write some swedish sentences:
Det är väldigt roligt att vara här, men de jävla fransmännen är
helt hopplösa när det gäller att tala engelska. Antingen har de
helt fel meningsbyggnad och använder helt fel ord, eller sa talar
de sa otydligt att man inte hör ett dyft. En annan sak som man
tydligt märker är att svenskarna är de bästa kodarna i världen.
Nu maste jag nog sluta med svenskan om jag vill ha mitt huvud
kvar (en lam fransman star bakom mig och ser mordisk ut eftersom
han vet vad "jävla" betyder).
Back to English! The above sentences don't contain anzthing
special except for some words about how bad the French guzs are
at English. See zou later!
Daniel Eriksson (The One) of Vector signing off at 20.56
Yeah! I can finally finish life and I have three VBLs!!!
Also, Tanis (The Tanis) is doing the 8*8 block graphics!!
Outside it is now very nice and very cool. Perfect, really. But
inside it is still depressingly warm and damp.
The loo smells like a horse stable (just something incoherent
I'd like to make note of).
"Zo hé - dat stinkt dus echt als een partijtje bagger."
The Alcoholica persons are now creating a figure table to match
the visual effects in some kind of acid demo called something
dirty translated into rather harmless German. They like it a lot,
I can see that. Basically they have to listen and look for about
three minutes, decide on an effect, enter it in a table, listen
to it for three minutes, watch of the effect is like they
thought, do it all again if it ain't, and do the next.
A boring job.
Richard and LoWLiFe are urging me to type something.
Now it's my turn to have a fucking headache... Gargl!
About an hour ago, I felt something growing on me. NO, you
filthy rotten person! I actually felt a headache growing rapidly
on me. I am in doubt whether it was the same headache that was
arriving like a thundering train yesterday (because someone must
have pulled the emergency brake then), but most important thing
was that something was triggered nerves in my skull to feel pain.
I immediately dug into my load of medicines I have taken with
me. There's some stuff against travelling fever, pills against
hayfever and headache sedatives. All you need at a conference
like this, when a headache or another minor illness is precisely
the last thing you'll be needing.
Again, time is passing without much happening. Chris has stacked
all his synth stuff in his car and is, thus, going away. Too bad.
Yo, check this out! I'm leaving now coz there are lotsa lovely
girls waiting in my home town for me this evening, so enjoy
yourself. Bye, bye...
Chris of Unlimited Matricks....
Yes, it's me (EVE) on the keyboard again. After having had a
fantastic meal in the local Mc Donalds with CIA, Richard, Lowlife
and Scum it's time to write something again. This has to become a
very large article, this is if you have to believe Richard. Well,
and that shouldn't be so difficult because he is one of the
editors of ST NEWS. I just wanted to say that the hamburger,
chips, ice and the milkshake were just wonderful. That's it for
the moment. I think I will go on with the music I started some
hours ago. Goodbye and see you later ...
EVE of Galtan 6 / ENS
We (that is Crush and me) have just discovered that there is a
new category of jokes. Next to 'black', 'disgusting' and
'deadly', there is now also 'Jurie-esk'.
A monumental occasion in the history of The Joke. A classical
recognition of a social phenomenon.
Have I yet gained a chance to win the Nobel Prize for Nuttiness
"The guy walking around with the green thing on his head is a
Spaz quote (about Raph of SOTE).
"He is worse than the SOD's"
Richard quote (yet again about Raph of SOTE).
"The entry's are getting shorter by the day"
Richard quote (concerning the size of the average entry within
this interesting, socially important and culturally inheritance
diary, also known as a real-time article)
This thus means that we're gonna have to use longer words that
say just as much as the normal ones but that do add to the
apocalypse of this text, the finesses of the essence of the
contents from these words which are of course used herein without
the use of any superfluous, overdramatic text-parts which when
read in an subsequent order do mean absolutely zilch.
Pretty funny that your name is Scum, Scum, since we're:
SSSSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOOO TTTTTTTTTT EEEEEEEEEE
S O O TT E
SSSSSSSSSS O O TT EEEEEEEEEE
S O O TT E
SSSSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOOO TT EEEEEEEEEE
SCUM OF THE EARTH
First message from Light. We arrived Friday night at 22:45 pm
here at the ICC #2. We are the only crew that codes on the
wonderful STE. We hope that our 'fullscreen earth' will be a part
of the ICC #2 Demo.
Bye for now.
Leviathan of Light
Now, at 10:05 PM, we are forced to visit the McDonalds drive-in
restaurant because of the food Delta Force bought!!
Dr. Death of Light
Hi, this is Mega-TRI of Light writing some words for this
article because Leviathan did not exactly write the truth! I
arrived on Thursday at 15:00, and Light is not only an STE crew!
I am coding on normal ST , not on the STE ! That's all I want to
write here, because I also want to go to the plastic factory of
Mc Donalds! I hope that the Coke is not as warm as it is here,
and that the food will be hotter!
Mega-TRI of Light
About a couple of minutes ago, Crush and me got the idea to take
3/4 of a Coke bottle and fill the rest with rum.
AAAAARRGGHHHHH!!! Kicken beyond measure (Well, not beyond the
measure of Plantiac, of course, but one has to take what one can
get and Bacardi ain't bad)!
"One has to take what one can get
And rum isn't all too bad
And I haven't even seen a slet
('Slet' is a poetical liberty, i.e. Dutch for 'slut')
To take with me to bed"
It is now judging time, as I have received the enormous honour
of being able to co-judge the coding screen competition.
I am sweating like a suilline - sweat caused by about half a
litre of the shit we mixed.
Hello Stick here for the first time today (I think!).
Bilbo & I have just been out again.
The person before me broke off in the middle in his entry and
promised he would get back to finish it. I've been without sleep
for 41 hours and strangely I'm not sleepy. Looking around me I
must write something about the social and cultural environment of
the average coding-party.
Some people hold on to their bottles of (mostly) Coca-cola as if
it was their child, which is strange because, coming to the
second point, they're all male. There is not one single female to
be found in the whole place.
Interruption: The group that was supposed to go to the disco
didn't go, so Michael won't get his hands (and more) on those
lovely boys there.
End of interruption.
Third observation concerning the social & cultural environment
of the average coding-party: They're very close to the homes of
the people organizing them which is strange because most of the
people attending have to drive for hours just to get there. Next
coding party should be in the vicinity of The Hague (Den Haag),
Observation 4: The most preffered music seems to be hard rock,
which, again, is very strange because for most hard-rock
musicians the term 'melody' is something they have to look up in
Observation 5: The preferred drink is Coca Cola. In fear of
starting some kind of war I will not comment on this.
Observation 6: The Toilets stink like hell!
"If I fall asleep, I'm gonna sleep"
Crush (After his first Bacardi-Cola)
Now Leviathan of Light again: The competition starts. I think
our screen for the STE will not be on the ICC #2 Demo Disk.
EXTREMELY SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi there! Since it's at last "quiet and peacefull" here, I
decided to type something in this article. Everybody is watching
the competition, so I can type whatever I want. Normally I don't
write long texts in real time articles, but I am bored. OK, since
it sounds interesting behind me, I am also going to watch
One of Galtan Six
You might ask yourself "Why are two people able to type
something at the same time on the same computer?" Well, we didn't
redefine any of Einsteins laws, it's just that the watch (or
whatever timekeeping device he carries) of Mr. One is not
entirely accurate. Not accurate?
So does this mean that the timekeeping device that I carry is
Well...the answer must be "yes" since I have strapped on my
wrist a Pulsar Quartz Alarm Chronograph that redefines the
meaning of the word 'watch'. I shall not elaborate on its
functionality or simple and stunning beauty, I shall just say
that since I bought it (some years ago) it has diverged a mere
second from the wholly accurate time broadcasted by the various
radio stations around the world. It has travelled across many
time zones, faithfully indicating the time in the more exotic
places in this world. It is perhaps a bit too much to say that I
developed a deep, meaningful relation with this gripping piece of
micro-technology, but I hold it in the highest esteem.
old_stack: dc.l 0
message: dc.b 'CHRRRRRRRRR........',0
For all non-coders: I AM GOING TO BED!! Good Night!
Big Alec of Delta Force
So the demos have been run and now the jury is discussing them.
My favourite person right now is Crush because he has this large
bottle of Coke mixed with Bacardi Rum. Yes, certainly worth
Stefan (Gulp...Aaahahhaahhhhhhhhh.....Thank you...)
Well people lets see if I can type the text of the song that is
"On the rebouind
fumbling all the lies
äthe light at the end og the bottle
through the lookionmg glass
Decane on the vertzioval hold"
It doesn't work. Damn shit!
OK, we're (I'm actually) gonna try it again.
"So here I am once moier
opn the playgrounf of the brokenj heartzsä
one moer experience one more entry
in adiary self peennd"
Too bad people - this doesn't work either. Perhaps there's
something else., Kayleigh...
"Do you remeber
Chalkhearts melting on a playground wall
do you rememebvr"
If I could switch my CD player to a slower speed I could make it
but I'm afraid you're gonna miss this piece of interesting
information concerning songtexts form Marillion. Well, you can't
have 'm all as they say in Arabia, although they'll probably say
it in Arabic which is not understandable for me which means they
could be saying anything at all and I wouldn't care. Bye, I'm
I just had the honour of witnessing all the ICC #2 demo screens.
I think there must have been at least 10. After that, we went
outside to judge them. Some have been mercilessly slagged off,
and some have been zealously supported. I am not going to reveal
anything so far as I don't actually know who won. All I know is
I am not going to say. More about this judging, the prizes and
the order will follow later (possibly in the next part, though,
as I doubt that New Mode can concoct the final figures in less
than five minutes!).
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHGARGL! VLEP! VROT! AREUH!
Crush made some more of that rummed Coke and it's so good that I
get almost instantly intoxicated!!
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.