HIDDEN ARTICLE III
ST NEWS' FUTURE
by The Nutty Snake (a.k.a. Alex Crousen)
This article has been utterly grotesquely revised to improve the
ability of the reader to sift through it. Some bits have been
extended a bit. It has been hidden because we kinda liked it but
nevertheless considered it to be overdoing things a bit.
Nonetheless: Thanks, Alex, for your admiration (or whatever one
may call it).
Wow! ST NEWS already exists for 5 years? Nah, Impossible.... OK,
OK. I believe you, but you have to admit it is incredible! What
now? What will ST NEWS do during the coming 5 years? Will it
survive? Will the Studies of Richard make the quality of the
magazine even better (if possible)? Will Stefan still interrupt
him every 3 paragraphs? Only time can tell.
But will time tell?
(Everything becomes hazy, as if out of focus. When everything
focuses again, we have stumbled upon a completely different
scenery. Someone is sitting behind his computer, reading a future
issue of ST NEWS...)
The two-hundred-and-seventieth year of ST NEWS.
Its more than 21 megabyte took 6 hours to upload at giga-baud
rates from Eternity BBS. But now I could look at its ample
After a few weeks of reading, I decided to compile the
information I gathered into a smaller file. This file is included
below. It is solely compiled from material gotten from the BBS.
Nothing has been changed.
2156 - January 6th - 00:00
Today is a big day! Volume 270 issue 1 of the globally famous
multi-media magazine ST NEWS will be publised. As always, an
immediate sell-out is expected and the duplicating-facilities are
stand by. Media Sellers are equipped to protect themselves
against the flood of buyers and a rise in SENSORREAD readers has
been predicted. Everyone is speculating on the contents of this
issue! Will they be the first magazine to break the 400 million
gigabytes barrier? Last issue they nearly did but for one byte
that had been overlooked by the duplicators. How will the next
episode of Cronos Warchild's family life be? Will he survive the
twelve-megaton attack by his newborn infant? Will his wife
surrender the spoon to her 3 year old? We will find out tomorrow!
- Global Newscaster at Channel 7834
2156 - January 6th - 08:01
"Yes ladies and gentlemen! I am standing on the central square
in old New York, and behind me is the biggest store of Sparks and
Mencer. They will undoubtedly have... no, make that HAD the
largest stock of ST-News issues in the northern hemisphere. A few
seconds ago the store opened it's front doors, it's back doors
and the 16 hover-ship pads on the roof. Before that the square
was filled with people! Estimates show us that about 4 million
people squeezed into the square! never before has such a crowd
waited for one product! S&M have installed their latest in paying
hardware: The print-o-cash. The only thing you have to do is push
your finger onto the red dot, and the appropriate amount will be
deducted from your account. S&M have been developing this system
in spite of protests from the large japanese banks, but M&S don't
want the same disaster as last year when ST-News volume 769,
issue 4 was released. The claims from the families of the 5000
dead nearly sucked the company dry.
I will try to go to the back of the building now and try to
interview someone who already bought an issue.... This is Jack
Hollerman for GFNN."
- Glass Fiber News Network news broadcast
2156 - January 7th
"Yesterday our dear colleague, father and husband left this
life. While courageously working himself through the crowds of
the central square of old New York he was trampled to death. He
knew there was a risk, but he wanted to do this job. He did, but
he will never see the dramatic scenes he gave us. His work will
never be forgotten. May his soul be protected by Cronos."
- Excerpt from a NetNews Mailing to all the world
CONTENTS OF ST-NEWS VOL 270, ISS. 1:
EDITORIAL R. Karsmakers & S. Posthuma
COLOFON R. Karsmakers & S. Posthuma
Cyberpunk Revisited (112) S. Posthuma
Cronos's Good & Bad times (456) R. Karsmakers
Yak's Droppings J. Minter
Hidden article 23 ????? (not found yet)
2156 - February 1st - 23:00
"Welcome to 'Lifestiles of the Filthy Rich and Utterly Famous.'
Tonight we are honoured with the presence of two of the most
Filthy Rich and Utterly Famous people in the known world: Richard
Karsmakers and Stefan Posthuma; Editors of ST NEWS!
Ritchie: Erm, it's the 'undead' ST NEWS actually!
Lady: Oh! How fascinating! Eeh, How did you become so Utterly
Stefan: We just stuck to the original recipe and everything
L: You mean that all these 270 years you have had the same lay-
R: Yep! The same good old lay-out and contributors.
L: The contributors also? But you must have outlived all
contributors by a hunderd years or more?
S: Not really: As soon as we saw that we could have enormous
success with the magazine as is, we started investigating
cybernetics. We did this so that not only our lay-out but also
our contents would stay largely the same. Of course we changed
media a few times. We started on those good old 3.5" floppy disks
L: Floppy disks?
S: Erm, they were magnetic storing media. Silly eh?
L: Yes very!
R: Well, after that came the Optical disk. But still our
audience grew, and at that moment we decided to put some money in
technological developments. As Stefan just said we invested in
Cybernetics, but storage media was our second goal.
S: And of course there was Ritchie's English Study...
R: Erm... Yes... Tank you! (scowls at Stef)
L: Your study? What did that do?
S: he Finally Learned Where To Put The Capitals.
R: Yeah, but Stef had to learn too!
S: Not really, I knew most of it already.
L: How very exciting!...
L: (looks at watch) My god! Is that the time? Well, that was it
for this night! Please join me next time when we have one of
hamburger hill's prominent figures: Ronald himself!! Goodnight!
- 'Lifestiles of the Filty Rich and Utterly Famous' - Nighttime
program on CBS12
2156 - February 11th - 16:00
(The scene is a large mausoleum. Rows upon rows of cathedral
benches are placed in a hall which could beat all old cathedral
halls. In the distance a big altar can be seen. The camera rises
above the middle path and moves with increasing speed towards the
altar. When the camera is about 50 metres from the altar, two
bright floodlights suddenly bathe the altar in a fiery glow. As
the camera reaches the altar it rises again and takes a shot of
the surface of the altar. Laid into the marble of the surface are
two large symbols, made of gold. They are the numbers '42')
"We are gathered here today on the 42'nd day of this year to
commemorate the death of our spiritual leader: DA. LONG LIVE
The crowd which fills all benches yells "LONG LIVE DA!!"
"Normally this service wouldn't take long, for in his infinite
wisdom DA said 'Don't panic and Don't hold long services'. But He
also said 'Don't panic and Don't miss an issue of ST NEWS. Well,
I am proud to present to you the two most foremost members of our
order: The Editors of ST NEWS!!!"
(The crowd goes wild!)
"Err.. Hullo! I am Richard and this is Stefan here. We just
wanted to visit and say that the next issue will be dedicated to
the greatest man ever on this earth! And we mean Douglas!!"
(Crowd goes wild again)
"Thank you! Thank you! Now, please pass the buckets, and as you
all know: 'Don't panic and Don't forget to put something in the
- Global-wide broadcast of the yearly service of the church of
(At this time the article was cut off... The only clue what
happened is an eye witness who stated that when the author opened
the front door, a large man in black robes carrying a scythe was
standing there. The witness was frightened and ran away. Later a
tape was found at the home of the author. This was the only
magnetic media left unerased, for a strange magnetic field had
passed over the house just a few hours before the editors of this
magazine went to his house to remind him of the deadline. On this
tape, which he probably was recording for his answering machine
at the time went like this:
'Hi! I'm sorry but...(ring)...Oh, fart!!'
(Footsteps, and a door opening)
'Hello what can I D....D....Ddddoooo....FFffor YYY....'
'YOU DOWNLOADED THE WRONG FILE! YOU SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AT
"TNS.27". BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW.'
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.