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 "Women  and cats do as they damn well please.  Men and dogs  had 
best learn to live with it."
                                                    Alan Holbrook 

                            by G.E.A.

 Gukkulukk      Magical dance. Performer dances round its subject
               whilst  clapping and doing silly  things,  looking
               intensively  at the subject and  generally  having
               fun.  The  effect  is that the subject  will  find
               itself  starting  to  feel very  funny  about  the
               performer in a very funny way.  If the subject  is
               under the Haaa spell (Cf.),  it will tip over  and
               not remember anything about what happened  between
               the Gukkulukk and the next time it gets to breathe
               fresh  air.   The  fresh  air  will  be  used  for
               recovery.  If  this  recovery  is  interrupted  by
               further  attention  from  the  performer  of   the
               Gukkulukk,   a  crush  is  bound  the  strike  the

 Haaa spell     Spell that will awaken the subject's optimism  as
               well  as making it aware of the existence  of  the
               spell  caster.   Often  used  together  with   the
 The editorial staff of ST NEWS wishes to have you know that Gard 
is  reachable for those of you who either want to graduate  as  a 
Doctor  in  Psychiatry  or want to start a  deep  and  meaningful 
relation with the poor humanoid.
 The   address   may  be  obtained  by  sending  a   note   (plus 
International   Reply   Coupon)  to  ST  NEWS  (check   out   the 
correspondence address article).
 In case all of this got you depressed,  NOW is the time to  jump 
off a large building or in front of a train.

The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.