"House is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to Art."
(Adapted by RK)
CRONOS WARCHILD VERSUS FAM
by Lucifer Eksod (a.k.a. Martijn Wiedijk)
Cronos was content. He was very content indeed. In one of the
mindstaggering intelligent thoughts that sometimes occurred in
his small brain, he had realized only a moment ago that he was a
great warrior. Given the fact that he had thusfar managed to keep
up the no-claim of his life insurance and given the fact that he
had never lost a battle uptil now (if he had, his memory had
succesfully ignored it), he was truly a unique creature!
Feelings of what could only be described properly as utter
contentness towards his magnificent person filled his amazingly
well-shaped body. His way of walking became a bit more steady.
His whole attitude had more self-confidence now. Any furry
creature from Alpha Centaury would immediately notice this sudden
change of self-regardance of Mr. Warchild himself. Cronos felt
stronger, faster. He felt invincible.
Cronos was so busy realizing what an amazingly fantastic
individual he was, that he didn't hear the question at first.
Then the question was repeated, a little louder this time, but
not loud enough to be annoying. Cronos heard it this time and he
wondered what unimportant organism had the frantic guts to
disturb him admiring himself. He looked around and noticed a girl
standing in front of him.
He looked straight in her eyes. As a result of the recent
discovery of the greatness of his own being, Cronos didn't stand
still, nor stopped being totally flabbergasted. He even drooled.
No, instead of all that, he managed to build an 'air content'
around himself in a split second. Suddenly he realized that he
had formed a look of disdain on his face. It had never ever
formed such an expression before; some muscles in his face which
had never been used before decided to cramp.
Quickly Cronos moved his hand up and restored the muscles. This
all looked very sloppy and didn't fit his new image at all. The
combination of the 'air content' and the failed expression on his
face made the girl laugh. Now this was total impudence, Cronos
Laughing at a marvellous person like me, how dares she. That is
no behaviour for a girl!
Cronos had eased his muscles by now and wasn't exactly sure what
to do. His mind gave him two options to choose from: Either
ignore her or beat her. He had never beaten an innocent-looking
girl before, so he decided to ignore her. He simply walked around
her and continued his way.
Unfortunately, a small stone on the ground didn't like this
development and stretched its leg. Cronos tumbled and fell. The
laughing of the girl became a bit louder, but not loud enough to
become annoying. This was too much for our hero and despite the
'decent' education he had received he leaped for the girl - just
to give her a warning slap in the face, nothing painful. The girl
stuck her arm under his outstretched arm and lifted it a bit.
Cronos lost his balance. The girl stepped aside, but didn't move
her foot - so Cronos tumbled and fell again.
OK, this was it. No more painless slappings this time. He would
show her who was the true and only warrior around here! He stood
up and drew his megaturbulent gigantic butterknife and tried to
stab the girl. Suddenly the MGB was on the ground and his arm was
twisted on his back. And... it HURT!
In a few minutes, Cronos had been content, ashamed, angry and
beaten. He, the Cronos Warchild, was beaten by a girl, if all
things! This was too much for him and he decided to give up and
do what all couragious warriors do in such situation: He started
The girl let go of him and stepped back. When Cronos had created
a nice pool of mud underneath his fabulous-and-unbeaten-until-
recently body, he turned around and looked up. The girl was
smiling at him.
"Hi, my name is Fam", she said. "What's yours?"
Note of the spiritual father:
Thanks, Martijn. Ever since he got beaten by Mel I've tried to
slowly increase Cronos' sense of self-esteem. After he started
feeling slightly OK (after "Speedball II") I was about to have
him experience some rather exciting things.
Then this stuff is submitted to ST NEWS. With one rather sortof
fell-ish swoop, Cronos' self-esteem is effectively obliterated.
Two years of careful ego-restoring down the drain. Thanks
Lucifer. Don't hesitate to call again.
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.