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? Phenomena

 "Let's inhale,  let's go to jail,  dad'll help us make bail,  so
let's inhale,  let's inhale 'til we're meltin',  then drink vodka
shots with comrade Jeltsin"
                                  "Let's inhale", Chelsea Clinton

Dear  reader,  here's  yet another short story for  the  reader's
digest written by nobody else than Lars
 "teethgrinder" Johansson.

                    DO YOU BELIEVE IN TEETH?
                        by Lars Johansson

 She  just stood there,  looking at the eez-thru floss  threaders
that  somebody  had dropped in the muddy gutter.  She  didn't  go
great  guns since she was far too paralyzed by the sight  of  the
floss threaders lying like dead fish on the ground.  She  thought
about  the  harm  plaque  may  cause.  "Hell",  she  grunted  and
remembered that her teeth were green. When she smiled people used
to say "Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas". She never understood why, she
was no ragamuffin.  Her father was very brusque,  he used to  eat
the  turkey a week before thanksgiving.  Then he always blew  his
cookies.  He  was  a long drink of water and used  to  listen  to
Motown  music.  He  used to paddy whack her  and  read  paperback
Freud.  The  old  man  was indeed a  wacky  tabacky  addict.  She
remembered  her  father  as  a loco son  of  a  gun.  She  didn't
understand  why  her mother thought that he was  a  helluva  man.
Perhaps  it was his Norwegian steam or the Scandinavian  dynamite
that he stuffed his mouth with.  He was a Vietvet. He was in fact
the male stereotype personified.  Suddenly she realized that  her
father wasn't the big picture.  The eez-thru floss threaders were
the  big picture or at least they became a big picture  when  she
took  a  shot  of the slimy gutter with her  brand  new  Polaroid
camera.  "Jeez,  how  can  I eez those gees between  the  gee-gee
teeth?" Gee whiz, that was a big prob. She decided to consult the
ouija  since Freud himself was too busy lying in his  grave.  The
ouija didn't give her the answer,  it gave her the question, just
like they do in that crappy TV program Jeopardy.  She believed in
destiny and destiny had shown her the fancy teeth tools.  Destiny
wanted her to find those silly things. She didn't know what to do
with  her  life.  Perhaps the floss threaders were a  symbol  for
purification of the human soul.  Perhaps the floss threaders were
a reincarnation of Jesus.  She didn't get the  answer.  Therefore
people still don't know what the meaning of life is. And like the
poor girl we're all searching in vain...
 Why did the Pakistanian horses have to die?

 Contact  me  at the address presented in The ST  NEWS  Colophon,
probably located in the Features menu. 

Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.