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 A nun,  a priest,  a lawyer and 500 children find themselves  on
the Titanic on that fateful night of April, a long time ago. At a
certain instant, of course, it inevitably hits the iceberg it was
destined to hit.  The nun looks around in panic, screaming, "Save
the children!" The lawyer looks at her,  then snaps,  "*Fuck* the
children!" The priest adds, "Do you think there's time?"
                             Joke from "D.B.A. Magazine" Issue 11

                       by Marcel Hubregtse

 Having  never  seen  Led  Zeppelin live  at  work  during  their
glorious reign of rock,  this day was the perfect opportunity  to
finally  catch  up.  You can accuse Page and Plant of  a  lot  of
things, but not of predictability. So no "Stairway To Heaven" and
"Big Log" (Plant's huge solo hit) tonight; what we were left with
was an evening of great music and two hours of pure entertainment
and virtuoso musicianship. For me personally the greatest moments
were  the hurdy gurdy solo by Nigel Eaton and the  renditions  of
"Since  I've  Been  Loving  You"  (with  the  Dutch  Philharmonic
Orchestra  playing along on stage) and "Kashmir"  (with  Egyptian
musicians  stealing the limelight).  This show was one zenith  of
great musicianship with songs such as "Thank You",  "No Quarter",
"Gallow's  Pole",  "Whole Lotta Love" and a medley consisting  of
"Calling  To  You" (from Plant's "Fate Of Nations"  solo  album),
"When  The  Levee Breaks",  "Dazed And Confused" and  some  Doors
 Weirdly  enough this concert wasn't sold out and to  the  people
who  have missed it I can only say,  "well it's your  loss".  One
thing  I'm still wondering about after yesterday night  is,  what
the  hell all those bloody teenaged-spoilt-rotten  grungers  were
doing there. It was obvious that they weren't enjoying themselves
during  the  songs the Orchestra and the Egyptians  were  playing
along  and I even doubt that they enjoyed themselves  during  the
rest  of the concert.  Please let all the bikers who were  there,
and  were  having  a  good  time,   run  over  those  sorry-assed
depressing backpacked motherfuckers the next time around.  I even
heard  one  of  those grungers complain about the  fact  that  he
didn't  like  the music (so why the fuck did he show  up  in  the
first  place then?),  because it was too cheerful and  that  Kurt
Cobain was an infinitely better songwriter,  vocalist and  guitar
player.  My only reply to this pathetic little wimp is, "go home,
play some Nirvana records and shoot yourself".
 Enough said. 

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