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                        HOW TO GET A DATE

 First  features  on  a  BBS,  lifted  off  to  the  Untouchables
Magazine. Tnx Matt. Now it's here. This article has been included
specially for a Nutty Norwegian with the initials G.E.A.

 First locate your target.   Your best chance of doing this is by
going  to  one  of those wild parties which result  in  pairs  of
bodies being strewn all over the stairs within a couple of  hours
of starting.   However, since I never get invited to that sort of
party, I'm blowed if I can see why I should help those of you who
do. So I won't. So there.
 Having located your target,  the next step is to find out  where
said  target  lives.   This is easily done by  following  her/him
until  you  reach a door which they go in and  lock.   This  will
either be their room or the bathroom,  and if you can't tell  the
difference then you're beyond hope.
 Next you need to establish contact.  Knock on the target's door,
and when it is opened,  say,  "Excuse me, but I wanted to leave a
message for so-and-so upstairs,  but he/she/it isn't in.   Can  I
borrow a pen and paper to leave a note please?"  Having  borrowed
this,  make  sure  that you leave something behind when  you  go.
This means that you can go back and collect it sometime.

DANGER SIGNS: A wedding or engagement ring.
              A photo of a stunning individual by the bed.
              The presence of a stunning individual in the bed.
              A very rapid ushering out of the room.
              Phrases such as "Get lost, you pervert!"

GOOD SIGNS:   Him/her/it  falling  into  your arms on  your  next
              A return visit armed with red rose.

 As you can see,  there are more danger signs than good signs, so
if  at first you don't succeed,  don't worry...there  are  plenty
more  toads  in the bog!   A good strategy is ending  up  on  the
doorstep looking very pathetic,  which can get you invited in for
a  coffee so you can work on your chat-up lines.   One  line  you
should  never use if you want to leave their room with  the  same
number of limbs as you went in with is "Do you come here  often?"
It is the target's room after all.


The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.