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 "Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon  the
wall instead of using it"
                                                Gordon R. Dickson


        Taken off a network; submitted by Marinos Annikos

*  You  can play softball as much or as little as you  want;  YOU
   get to decide.

*  After  an unusually long and difficult softball game  you  can
   still ride your bike home.

*  In softball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if
   they're done scoring.

*  If you have to take a piss during a softball game, you can say
   "Excuse me,  I gotta drain the swamp" and you don't lose style

*  In softball,  nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long
   as you know what to do with it.

*  In  softball,  you  don't feel guilty about winning  the  ugly

*  The  other team never has to forfeit a game cause  they're  on
   their period.

*  In  softball,  you don't have to compliment the other team  on
   good they look in their new uniforms.

*  You don't have to buy the other team dinner to get a game.

*  If you get all scratched up in a softball game,  you can  brag
   about it to your wife.

*  In softball,  if you go a couple months without scoring,  your
   balls don't hurt.

*  In softball,  you can play the same team every day for a  year
   and it's never the same twice.

*  You  don't  mind  if  your parents  come  to  watch  you  play

*  You can play three, maybe four softball games a day.

*  In  softball,  it's no concern of yours if the other team  has
   had marital relations with diseased livestock.

*  In  a  good weekend of softball,  you can play  six  or  seven
   different teams and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may
   get a prize at the end.

*  Playing the wrong softball team won't get you shot.

*  You  can  be  absolutely certain that,  nine  months  after  a
   softball game,  the other teams lawyers won't call, asking for
   half of your pre-tax income for the next eighteen years.

*  During a softball game you can spit tobacco juice all over the

*  Rest  assured that the other team will not invite you  to  the

*  The other team doesn't demand that you shave before the game.

*  The other team can smell like road kill and you'll never  know

*  If you don't score in a softball game,  the other team doesn't
   ask you if you've had that problem often.

*  No  matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up  in
   your bed.

 Now that was funny, no?

The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.