A little boy walks into a whore house dragging a dead frog on a
string. He walks right up to the madam and says, "I want a
woman."
Now, the madam looks down at the little boy and says, "Sorry,
little boy; but, you're too young to be in here. Go on, get out
of here."
The little boy pulls $200 buck out of his pocket and pushes it
across the table at the madam and restates his desires, "I want a
woman!"
The old whore looks at the money, looks at the kid and starts to
look through her files for a name and a room.
"Hold on a second," says the little boy. "This woman has to
have active herpes."
Offended, the madam pushes the money back across the table at
the boy and states, "All my girls are clean!"
The little boy reaches into his other pocket and pulls out
another $200. He then pushes the $400 back at the woman and
says, "Active herpes."
A little phased by the fact that this kid has four hundred
dollars to spend on a whore, the madam looks through her rolodex
and pulls out a key. She hands the key to the little boy and
says, "Go to the top of the stairs, turn left, and go to the
third door on the right."
Without a word, the little boy walks to the stairs dragging his
dead frog and goes up the stairs.
Bump, bump, bump, goes the frog.
At the top of the stairs, the boy turns and enters the room with
the whore.
Meanwhile...the old madam, who thought she'd seen it all, is
downstairs thinking about the little boy, the $400, the dead frog
on the string and any of the reasons as to why the woman had to
have active herpes. Not long into these thoughts, bump, bump,
bump, comes the litle boy with his dead frog falling down the
stairs in front of him. With a big grin on his face, the boy
heads for the door.
"Hey, Kid!" shouts the madam, "before you go, I have to know a
few things, just out of curiosity, you know what I mean,
dont'cha? I mean $400, herpes, the dead frog? Do you mind?"
"No"
"OK, why did the girl have to have active herpes?"
"Well," says the kid, "ya see, it's like this: When I go home
in a bit, I'm gonna have sex with the babysitter, cause I always
have sex with the baby sitter. Later, when my parents get home
my dad will take the babysitter home and he usually screws her
before dropping her off at home. Then, even later, when dad gets
home, he and mom have sex - after all, the babysitter can't
satisfy dad completely."
"Then tomorrow morning, dad takes me to school and goes off to
work for the day. Around 10 o'clock, the milkman shows up...."
"...and that's the bastard who killed my frog."
Joke courtesy of Jamie Jackson (whom we don't know at
all actually, really)
THE ST NEWS ADVENTURE INDEX
In the previous 33 issues of ST NEWS, we have offered quite a
substantial amount of adventure solutions, the majority done by
adventure wizard Math Claessens. Sometimes, we cannot help but
chuckle somewhat when we see 'hot' adventure solutions in other
magazines - I guess nobody can beat Math, and we're proud to have
him as a member of the ST NEWS team.
This article comprises an index to the various adventure
solutions we have published through the years, up to and
including the previous issue - so that you need not look around
any further. We still have almost fourty further solutions lined
up for publication in future issues, so don't despair if you do
not find the solution you want in this index. In that case, it
might be useful to drop us a line with a special request or
something.
You will find that the list contains most (if not ALL) Sierra,
Magnetic Scrolls and Infocom stuff. In total there are a kinda
massive 66 entries...
Title Volume Issue
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Amazon 2 3
Ballyhoo 2 6
Black Cauldron 2 3
Borrowed Time 2 2
Bureaucracy 7 3
Chrono Quest 3 7
Chrono Quest II 8 1
Codename: Iceman 7 2
Corruption 3 5
Crimson's Crown 3 3
Cruise for a Corpse 7 2
Cutthroats 7 2
D.A.A. 5 2
Deja Vu 5 1
Deja Vu II 8 1
Dragons Lair 7 1
Elvira 7 2
Enchanted 2 6
Fahrenheit 451 2 5
Fantasy World Dizzy 8 1
Fish! 4 1
Gateway 2 2
Gnome Ranger 7 3
Grail, The 4 2
Guild of Thieves 2 6
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 2 2
Hollywood Hijinx 5 1
Horror Zombies 7 3
Indiana Jones 5 1
Infidel 2 4
Jinxter 3 1
Kings Quest 2 3
Kings Quest II 2 3
Kings Quest III 2 7
Kings Quest IV 5 1
Kings Quest V 7 1
Krystal, The 7 1
Larry 3 2
Larry II 4 1
Larry III 6 2
Larry V 7 3
Legend of the Sword 3 6
Loom 7 2
Lurking Horror 4 2
Manhunter II 5 1
Mindshadow 2 5
Monkey Island 6 2
Mortville Manor 8 3
Myth 5 1
Operation Stealth 5 2
Pawn, The 2 1
Police Quest 3 3
Police Quest II 5 1
Police Quest III 8 1
Rise of the Dragon 7 2
Seastalker 2 6
Shadowgate 3 4
Sorcerer 2 4
Space Ace 7 1
Space Quest 2 2
Space Quest II 3 1
Space Quest III 5 1
Spiderman 2 7
Star Trek 2 4
Tanglewood 3 4
Tass Times 2 5
Transylvania 3 2
Treasure Island 8 1
Tusker 7 2
Uninvited 2 8
Wishbringer 2 5
Wonderland 6 2
Zak McKracken 7 2
Zork I 1 3
Zork II 1 4
Zork III 7 3
-----------------------------------------------------------------
That's all folx! In case you're waiting for a specific adventure
solution to be published, don't hesitate to drop us a note. We
still have almost 40 solution lined up for inclusion in future
issues, so if you want a particular adventure to be given
priority, just write to us and Bob's your uncle!
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.