Mooo times Two (Domo)
"I've told you a million times not to exaggerate."
Rik Mayall, "The Young Ones"
THE ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE COWS
PART II
by Stephen L. Schultz, the Creator
Even more cows in this second, slightly exciting (well, perhaps
somewhat at least) part of the cow ramblings.
| ==================================
| = =
| = _____ =
| = ______ / \ =
| = / \ | \ =
| = / ||\ (__) =
|## (__) m m = (__) __ || \ (oo) =
| ## (oo) / / = (oo) / \||(__) \/ =
| ## |\/ / / = \/ (__) ||(oo) =
| ## | / / m m = (oo) || \/ =
| ## \ \ / / = \/ || =
| ## \ / / = || =
| ## \ / / = || =
| ## \-- = || =
| ## | = || =
| ## --* = || =
|____________##_______________ = || =
## = || =
## = =
## = cow-cow nut =
## = =
## = =
## ==================================
##
##
##
##
Cow-sine wave
Cow tipping:
Step 1. Step 2.
(__)
(--)
/-------\/ O--------O_
/ | || /| :: |_)
* ||w---|| * O--------O
~~ ~~
*
(__) ________ * *
(oo) ====________| * *
/-------\/ /\
/ | || / \ *
* ||----|| / \
~~ ~~ / \
A Cowsmologist
\ / _ /\ ` `_______ ` `
/\/______\/ / \ `/_/_|_\_\ `
| (__) /(`')\ ` |(__) `
*---|______(^^) /-------\/ ` |(oo) `
\/ / | || ` ` J \/ `
* ||----||
Cowt-of-order ~~ ~~ Cow in Bergen, Norway
(Me-cow-nical failure) Cowloon (Rains 300+ days a year)
(___) ________
.____ (o o) / \ )
/ \ / --| UGGGGH! |
/ || O \________/
/ / ||
/ / ||
/_____/__, ||
*------'---------' ~~
Sitting Bull Bull's Eye
_________________________
(___) / ...The President then \
(o o) / had to take into serious \
/-------\ / ----| consideration what implica- |
/ | ||O \ tions it would have for.../
* ||,---|| \_________________________/
~~ ~~
Bull-etin from the White House.
________________________________________________
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
%% %% %% %%
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
|| || _ (_) \o/ || ||
|| || /|_|(_) | || ||
____||______||_"_|_|_______/_\______||______||____
The Roman Cowliseum...where ancient Christians were fed to
vicious beasts...
_
| \ (___)
| \ (__) (__) (~ )
*----|---------------(oo) (oo) (o o)
| ______ |\/ /-------$/ /-------$/
|___/ /_____| / | ^^ || / | ||
/ / \____/ / / * ||-----| * ||------|
/ > > / ^^ ^ ^^ ^
> > MacCow MosCow
Stelth Cow
*
vv vv /
||____M__||/
|| || (__)
/\||_______|| (xx)
(Xx) \/
(--)
Dead Cow Cow by Georgia O'Keefe
(__)
(oo)
\/
/\
__/---\ //\\
<__/-(__) o/||\o
(oo) (oo) //o||\\\
/-------\/ /--\/ o///||o\\o
/ | || / -- ||
* ||----|| || =====
^^ ^^
A Christmas Cow-el
The Butcher of Baghdad Karen Cowpenter
(Saddam Holstein)
(__ (__) (__) | | (__)
(oo) (--) (--) | | (--)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /o /-------\/ | I \/-------\
/ | || / | L |----< o / | D |----<T I>----| M | \
* ||----|| * ||----| / o * ||----| I I |----|| *
^^ ^^ ^^ ^ | ^^ ^ | ^ ^^
| |
Cow owned by
Vincent Van Gogh Teenage Mutant Ninja Cows
\\ //
\\( )// (__)
(o o) ( ) /(oo)\
\ / (oo) / \/ \
/ \ ##########\/ / /\ \
| | # ######## # / / \ \
\___/ * # ###### # | | | |
// | \\ # # # # | | | |
// \\ |___| |___|
" " Mosscow Cowderoys
Cow11
_____
<_____>
( ) (==) |
(oo) __ /------\/- *
/---*-.---\/ (oo) / | | \/|
/ |* . * .|| /-------\/ * | |
* ||------|| : :: |===|===|
~~ ~~ ::----:: ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
Cow w/ cowpox Boris Cowlile Cow on Graduation day
/
/\ /
\/ (__) / \ | /
|| <`'> / \ | /
(_||_) \/ /^ _____ ___ _____
__\||/__ #=======> | _ /(o o) \
| /xx\ | ( )==/ (_)------/---\ / \
__\xx/__| I____I | ||
/ww\ ,---( _ ) . ||----||
/| |\ / || \_=======|| oo oo
|^ ^| ||
^ ^ || heli-COW-pter
==
COW giving birth The Ninja Cow
* (__)
\ (oo) ________(__)_
\---------------\/ |COW-SIO (oo) | (_--_)
| 0.0 | | _______\/ | /*__*\
|---------------| | |_________| | * __|(oo)|_
| C CE ^ - | | | \/--( \|==|/ )
| 7 8 9 + | | C = / * | | \ /
| 4 5 6 * | | 7 8 9 - | \ \ | | | |
| 1 2 3 / | | 4 5 6 + | | |-\ /-\ /
| 0 . = | | 1 2 3 | ^ ^ ^ ^
| || | 0 . = | NFL Dallas "COWBOY"
||-----------|| |_____________|
^^ ^^
Cow-culater Cow-culator
(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\//-------\/
/ | || / | || /| || /| ||
* ||----||* ||----||* ||----||* ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
COW-comitant
(__) (__) (__) (__)
($$) (££) (YY) (%%)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | || / | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ .. .. $& #Y
USA'$ cow GB'£ cow JP'y cow Bank'% cow
_____________
| |
| INDIANA 45 |
| | |
| PURDUE 52 | |
|_____________| |
______|====\
\/\/\/ \\
\/\/ \\
\\
\\
(__) __ \\
(oo) /)(\ \\
* / \/_/~\__/ ||
\ / __/~ ||
\/ / ||
| _/ ||
| | ||
~ ~ ------
Hoosier
Cow
. .
. . (__)
(___) . (___) . (oo)
(o o) . (- -) . /-------\/ 5+2=?
\ / . \ / . / ! !!
Q.. Q.. * !!----!!
^^ ^^
smokin' cow waisted cow cow who cow'nts
(__) (__)
(00) ( )
/----------------\/ \/---------------\
/ | | | | \
* ||-----------|| |||----------||| *
^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^
SIDE VIEWS
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
* |
^^^ ^^^
BACK VIEW FRONT VIEW
^ (___)
_- --/ - `\ ^ |*-*|
_________/_________ ^____ _ \o/`-\
" /| \ / U |
(__) ` /_| _ - \/\ | /
|@@| | | //
\/`--------.__/ | C/
| / \---/
//`---\/|| |/\ |
|| || || ||
|| ||
Helicowpter || ||
Cool Cow
(__) (__) |
(oo) ($$) |__ /---------o*o
/---------------------\/ /-------\/---|| / | ||
/ | | | | | || / | | || * ||-----||
* ||--||--||--||--||--|| * ||----| -- ^^ ^^
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cowterpillar Yuppie cow with Cow captured
mobile phone. by head-shrinkers
((( ))))
(( ( ))) ( ) I'm a cow, man!
( ( ) ) ) ^^^^^ /
( ( ( )))) | | _/
( ( / ) ) ) O O /
( ( \\ ) ) ) \ C / -
( : // ) ) ~
: : / \
: : O / | | \
: : ( | | )
: : \ \___/ /
: : (__) W/ \W
: : (oo) /|_n_|
: : ----\/ / || ||
: : :: | () ()
: : ---:: * || ||
------------^^ VV VV
Newton's Cow
(aka Mooton) Bart Cow
__
>(__) This cow will make all those desisions for
(oo) you by changing color according to the
/-------\/ action you should take.
/ | || If this cow appears to be:
* ||----||
^^ ^^ GREEN: Yes, Go ahead
MAGIC DESISION
MAKING COW. WHITE: No, unless it is raining.
AMBER: Buy a better monitor/terminal
GRAY: Adjust your contrast/brightness control
BLACK (on black): Turn terminal/monitor on.
BLACK (on white): Lucky git!
ANY OTHER COLOR: Send terminal/monitor to
repairer's, quickly!
/~~\ +
) ( \__/ O O
( o)\ ========== o_o_o
* \o / / {__} \ (___)
\ \/-----\ / (**) \ (___)
\----- || \ \ \/ / (___)
$ | --|| * \"mon / ( 00
||-vv-- ~~ \ parfum"/ \_ |
~~ ======== \_o
Pablo Picowsso Paloma Picowasso King Cowles II
______ ___________
: Oui? : : :
_______ `v-----' : CORNED :
: Nee! : (__) : BEEF :
`------v' (oo) :_________:
/-------\/
/ : :: An exercise found in a text book of quantum
* ::----:: mechanics: "solve the Schrodinger equation
^^ ^^ of a cow in a box. Please, pay attention on
the boundary conditions!"
Belgian Cow
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ : :: (/\)
* ::----:: /oo\ (__)
XX======^^====^^==>> /-----/____\ (--)
X US MISSILE >> / | || /--------\/
X Greetings >>> * ||----|| / \ | \__
X George >> ~~ ~~ * /__-------__|
XX================>> ~ ~
Cow klux klan Cow resting
Irakean Cow
___()
COW ------------| o\
| )O-------------- MOO
-----|____/ /
\ /
\ / (____)
\ / \( )
\ / |\( )
\ / \ \( )
\ / \ \( )
X |\ \( )
/ \ | \ \( )
/ \ \ \(____)
/ \ \|_o_o_|
/ \ | |
/ \ | |
/ ___() \
-----| o\ \ cow chip
| |O-------------- ~MOO
BULL ---------- |____/
Cow Flop (new flip-flop, patent pending)
( ) ( )
\ / \ /
\___/ \___/
(o o) (o o)
/-------------\o/ /-------------\o/
/ | || / | ||
* ||-,--------|| * ||@\\-------||
|| || || \\ ||
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
Texas Longhorn Steer Texas Longhorn Bull
__
(__) ( ) (__)
(oo) / (oo)
_______\/ / \ _______\/
/ / \ /| |
/ | || / \ / || ||
* ||-__-|| (_____________) * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Pregnant Cow Hanger De-calf-inated
(__) (__) iiiiIiiii
(oo) (oo) '|o o|`
/---------\/ ---------\/ ________\_/
/| | || / | || / | |
* |__|-----|| //____\-----|| # ||ww____||
|| || * || || || ||
~~ ~~
cow-boy cow-girl Happy Hannucow!
(or a Sco(w)ttish cow-boy)
\_ ^
\ | **~~~~~~~
_____) \___ | **~~~~~~~
__/ \__ (__) | ~~~~~~~~~
_/ \ (oo) | ~~~~~~~~~
/ ____ ( ) \/ |
/ / __/ \__ |o o| /( \/|
/| ||_/ \ \ / ( ) |
^^^^^^^^^"^// /^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ \\^^^^^^^^ /~\ |
// / | ||
[][] [][] Patriotic Cow
Sha-MOO
/\
/ \
/ \
| |
/ * * \
/ ** * \
/ * ** \ **
/ * * \ ** **
. . | | * * <--- the world
. / **** \ * *
. . / * * \ ** **
. . . / **** \ **
. / * * \
. | |
. / **** \
/ * \ . .
. / **** \ . .
/ * \ . .
/ **** \
| | . . .
| **** |
| * * | . . .
| **** | . . .
| * * | . . .
|------------------------------| . .
| (__) (__) (__) (__) (__) | . .
. /| (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) |\
/ | /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ | \ . . .
. / |=|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|==|=| \ .
. / | | | | | | | | | | | | \ .
/ USA | ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ ~||~ |NASA \ .
|______| ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ |______| .
. (______________||______________) . .
. /_\ /_\ . . .
!!! !!!
The herd shot 'round the world.
(_ _)
___ (o o)
(__) _- -_( )
(++) /- O O
/____O/ / | ||
/| || * ||-___-||
* ||--|| ~~ ~~
~~ ~~
This cow belongs to This cow belongs to
Mr. Bill Rosanne Barr
_________(__)___
| -------------- |\
(__) (__) "slurp" /|| || \
(oo) (oo) / ||milkfat 1% || \
/-------\/ \/-------\ * * ||______________|| /
/ | || \__/ || | \ * |________________|/
* ||----|| | | ||-----|| * * || ||
~~ ~~ |__| ~~ ~~ * ~~ ~~
*
cowoperation ----------------------
/ - - - - - - - - --- /
/ - - - - - - - - --- /
----------------------
(oooo) personal cowmputer
oo( -0 )oo
/ ------------ \/
/ | | /|
/ | ----\_/ | / |
> < ||| ||| / |
||| ||| |/ |
~~ ~~ \ |
Wendy Wellesley Cow- /| // (__)
note the shapely figure and painted / /\// (oo)
hooves---and the sexy wink reserved | | / /-------\/
for MIT men. | / / | ||
| / * ||----||
| / ^^ ^^
_____ * |/ breacowt!
(_____) /
( OO )_____________ /
(/~~\) ######### \/ |\------------\
\O_/ * * * * |= = = = = =|- SCUD )
| ######### | |/------------/
| |__________| |
|| | || |
|| | || |
~~~~ ~~~~
Saddam moo-sein
@
(__) (__) _____/
/| (oo) _ (oo)/----/_____ *
_o\______/_|\_\/_/_|__\/|____|//////== *- * * -
/_________ \ 00 | 00 | /== -* * -
[_____/^^\_____\_____|_____/^^\_____] *- * -
\__/ \__/
Cow-mobile
(()) (()) ||||
(oo) (oo)
/------\/ (OO) /------\/
/| | /------\/ /| |
* ||----|| /| | * ||----||
^^ ^^ * ||----|| ^^ ^^
^^ ^^
Don King cow Don King cow after Buckwheat cow
getting electric shock (Otay? Otay!)
*****
/\
/ \ (__) __
(oo) (oo) (oo)
/------\/ /-ooo--\/ /------\/
/| | /|o | o | /| |
* ||----|| * ||o^o || * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
"Conehead" cow Anti-war cow Sinead O'Connor Cow
o o - -
O Moo!!!!
ghost-cow sleeping ghost-cow
Cow-nty Police Officer Cow-nty Police Car
___
[___] ____|___|____
(o o) / [__] \
/------------\-/ / (oo) \
/ | ||^ |V / |\/| \
| | <**> | |-----------------|
* -----/\------ | Cow-Price |
|| O O || |_________________|
|| || \_________________/
|| || | | | |
oo oo |__| |__|
(With gun and Handcuffs)
(it's a Cow-Price)
(Classic of course)
\ /
\ /
(__) \ (__) /
/\/\_(oo) \ /\/\_(oo) /
// == \ // == /
/ | /\/\|| \ / | /\/\|| /
* || || \ * || || /
^^ ^^ \___^^____^^_____/
Silly cow
(his father was a camel) Sillycow-valley.
___ __ __ _
(( /\ (__) ( /\/ \(__) (__) //
\\ /\ (oo) \ /\\/(oo) _(oo) //
,----\ /\--\/ ,----\ /\--\/ /----/ \\/ //
( ) ) ) // || ( ) ) ) // || / ||-- ( ) ====
`-----//--|| `-----//--|| * || \_( ) //
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^
beecows Cownan the barbarian
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-----------------\/
/ | || / | /qwertyuiop \||
* ||----|| * || asdfghjl; ||
^^ ^^ || zxcvbnm,./ ||
sliced cow ^^ ^^
keyboard-cower
( )
(oo)
/--------\/
/ || ||
* ||------||
|| ||
( ) || ||
(oo) || ||
/--------\/ || || || || || ||
/ || || || || || || || ||
* ||------|| || || || || * ||------||
|| || || || || || \ || ||
|| || || || || || \--------/\
|| || || || || || (oo)
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ( )
high cow very high cow broken very high cow
__ (__)
(__) (__) (oo)
(\/) (oo) < vv >
/-------\/ /-------\/____) / \
/ | || / |______ | | /| |\
* || || || || __ / |( )| \
___||_____||_____/ _______ / ||""||\ \
cow san /___||__||_*_\
Ge-cow-logist ~~ ~~
~ Cownt Dracula
(__) ( )
* ` (OO)' (00) //
\_/-------\/ ` ___ \/___//
|| ||_. ` /---\_/---\
%_/ ~-----\ ------------------
~ l l
l___________l
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ l ll ll l
// // // / / | \\ \ \ \\\ l v v l
- -
Cow on a hot tin roof A 'cow'ntant
\ ,_________________./ /
(__) -/.__________________ -
oo ) \ (__) / \
_!_/_ \ (oo) /
!--!-\___/ !\ \.\/./
!__! ! ! \ | |
\___/ * | |
/ W \ / | |
! ! o / / / \'
! ! /|\/' | \
______/_\_________________|______\ _____
Cow from ^ ^
Velke Popovice Brewery David and Cowliath
. .
. . . __ __
. ||______________________||
. . || __________________ ||
/ || | (__) | ||
. . / || | (oo) | ||
| -|| | _\/_ | ||
. . \ || |=---------/(())\-\| ||
(\ |\-----------------------\
. (\ || \_______________________\
\|| | |
. \| | (O) |-----------| (O) | .
\ | |-----------| | .
. \ | PETERBILT | .
\| |
. (=========================)
|_||_| |_||_|
. \
. \
Pompano Beach or bust!
^^^
^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
++++++++++ ************************ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
*********************************** \ /
\ ^(__) /
\ / (@@) /
82nd Cowborne Cowtrooper \|__\/__
| | |
| | |
|__|-^-
/ \ \__*
| |
^ ^
-----------------------------------------------
| U. S. Federal Prison |
|---------------------------------------------|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | |^ | (__) | ^| | | | | | |
| | | | | | \| (00) |/ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | \__\/__/ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | |-| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | / \ \_ | | | | | | |
| | | | | | |/ \| \* | | | | | |
| | | | | | ^ ^ | | | | | | |
-----------------------------------------------
Former Panamanian General "I'm not a Mule" Manny Cowiega
---------------------------------------------------------
---.---.---.-------.---|.-- ---------|---|----
--.-.---.---- (__) -----.---.---|-
-|---|- __) (++)___ -----.---|---
----| ^\ ^\ (xx) ___\//---^ -----.---|--
----- | \____\_\/ / \ \_____ ---.---
========= - \_____/\ ^ . \_/____ ^ -====
. - - / \ ' ^ . - .
\ / . ^ - \
` ^ ` ` `
Former despot Romanians Nicolae and Madame Cow-cescu
(__)
(OO) __
\/ |__|
// \ |
// \ \ |
^^ \// \ |
/-------------\
-----------------------/ Panama \
----------------------/ or \
/ Bust! \
_____________/---------------------\_____________
/ \
/ \
\ /
\_________________________________________________/
M1 Abrams Cow Commander
(__) *
(OO) |
\/ |
// \ -----
// \ \ / \
^^ \// \ / \
// \ | |
--^^------ * / \
\ ____ / / / \
|||||| | \ |
|||||| / \ \
|||||| | / |
|||||| /___________\_______\
|||||| /
|||||| (_/)
__||||||||__ (@@)
| .,....,. | \/
| ...,.,.. |
------------ Cow Bell (or the Liberty Cow Bell)
The Acowdemy Award
_________________________________________________________________
| _____________________________________________________ |
| 10 ) T H E U N I T E D S T A T E S O F A M E R I C A ( 10 |
| / ........... ____ \ |
| | / \ A10806726C | |
| | 1 (A) | (__) | ___ __ __ 1 | |
| | | (oo) | | |_ |\ | | |
| | A10806726C | _\/_ | | |__ | \| | |
| | 1 .......... \//;;/\/ ........... 1 | |
| \ ......... _______________ ........ / |
| 10 )_________________/ TEN DOLLARS \___________________( 10 |
|___________________________________Abortion Rally calls________|
Cownterfeit
>>>----> *___ ______
\ __|_**_|__
>>>----> \ | . . |
\ _______________\ /
* ( | | US CALV| \o/
>>>----> / /\ |_________| \-- |
( / / \ \__________\_\ ---| |
>>>----> . ( ) / / \ \ \ \ |*|
. / / \ \ \ \
. /* \ \*\ \*\
The CALVelry COWard
____
| | . .
vv vv __|__|__ \ /
||----|| * \00/ \__/
|| | / /-----------C\/C (oo)
/\-------/ / | CCCC /-------\/
(oo) / ||_________CCCC / | ||
(~~) * || || * ||----||
nn nn ^^ ^^
Australian view of a
North American Cow Abraham Lincow This cow belongs
to "My Favorite Martian"
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
(__) >------\/------< >------\/------<
(oo) | | | | | | | |
>------\/------< | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | || | | | | || | |
| `____' | | `----' | | `-OO-' |
`--|--|--' `--|--|--' `--|--|--'
| | | | | |
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
"FLASHER" calf "FLASHER" steer "FLASHER" bull
(Big Mac)
(_____) _____________
\0 0/ / \
_________(o o) XXXXXXXXXXXXX
/ | U | \_____________/
* | /______ _ |
|| || || ||
this is a cow... this is a cow on drugs
Any questions??
.
\---) (__) *
|o o) ==== /
(---\o/--\ /-------\/ (___)--------|/
| |#| ) | / | || (o o) ||
| |#| ) | * ||-||-|| YY ( )-||--I--||
^ |#| ) ~ ^^ ^^ ^^ ||--I--||-( ) ^^
//--\ || ^^(o o)--<
// | \ This cow is from Mars. /|--------(---)--<
|| * | /
^^ ~ * "69"
Cowborg
* * *
*
* * (__) *
* _--_ ( oo) *
_- )\ '|
* /| ) _ \ \ ~~ * *
/ \ \-- \ \
*-' // / > >
> >
/ / *
/ / *
_ _ -- _ _
/ \ *
* / _ _ _ \
| / \| *
| |
* | | * *
| |
| | *
| \_ _ _ /|
\ /
* \ _ _ _ / *
---
"COW JUMPED OVER MOO_N, REVISITED"
(__)
(__) \__\/__/
{}\ (oo) l l
/----\----\/ l__l
/ | \ |\ / l__\
* || >-+-\ <\ / /
|| | ())))) \ \ ))))))
^^ ^ / )))) \ \))))))
/ \ / (
bum steer ~~~~ \ / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cowabunga!!
(__)
(~~) V __ (__) (__)
/--------\/ | / \ (oo) (oo)
* | | ----: /-- --\/ /-------\/ {BIG MAC}
>--: |----| / | || / | |---/
| | * ||-----|| * ||----|
^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^
beef jerky cowsimodo cownibal
_______\
-<| CUD \
/-<|_______/
(__)// / ((|))
(oo)/ ($ $)
\// /-------\_/ *
/ | / | ||__<i
__ | | * ||----|
* \| _| ^^ ^
/ |
/ | New Kow on the Block
^ ^ (note lighter in hoof)
CUD missile launcher
((----))
((oooo))
///-----\\\///
///||| |||
*** ||||||---|||
^^^^^^ ^^^
where milkshakes come from
-----------------------------------------------------------------
| ___________ | | |
| (__) ( You know, )| (__) ________ | (__) ______ |
| (oo) ( Kentucky )| (oo)( How do )| (oo) ( )|
|-------\/ ( cows are )|---\/ ( they )| \,,/ ( MOOF )|
|| || (bucktoothed)| || \( talk? )|/-------\/ \ ( )|
|||----|| \ /---------- |--|| \/------- | | || \/------ |
|^^ ^^ \/ | ^^ | ||----|| |
| | | ^^ ^^ |
---------------------------------------------------------- J.B.--
Cowmic Strip
| \___________________________
| ___________________________
| / /
| | /
| | /
| | (__) /
| | (oo) /
| | _\/_ /
| | / ==%
| | / ==%
| | *---<_ / /
| | / /
| | / /
| | ~ ~
| |
| | Moowgli
| |
/ \
(__) . . . . (---)
\oo/ . . .. . (-------(----)----( ) *
/;;\ . . . (__) ( ( ) )(x x)_____/
\__| |__/ . . . (oo) \ OO---------OO-/ O \_/\/\/
|%%%%| //-------\/ OOOOOO OOOOOO / \
~ ~ // | U M || OOOOOO OOOOOO . .
~ ~ ** ||----||
grandcow is ^^ ^^ Argyle cow about to be hit by
sitting Go Blue Cow an armored personnel carrier
(__
(o ======]
------- )
| || __0 \\\||||///
| || () _____ = 00000000 = <----- radioactive waste
Cow after biology major Cow after Physics Major
is finished with it is finished with it
| |
| |
(__)| |
(__) (__) (@@)| |
(oo) (oo) |\/-===< |
/-------\/ *____-------\/ | | |
/ | || // // | | |
* ||----|| >='/-----// /\|___===< |
__^^____^^__/ ___^_____^^__/ __oo____*o__. | |
oo oo oo oo `////\\\\
Cow on skate-board Cow at running Cow without skate-board
(watch out!)
That's all folx. All this was inflicted upon you care of The
Untouchables! However, there is a bit more that has, indirectly,
also something to do with cows. It also came from the
Untouchables mag, and was done by the Green Gables...
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both
of them and gives you part of the milk.
Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one
of them and gives it to your neighbor.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both
of them and sells you the milk.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both
of them and then shoots you.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes both
of them, shoots one, milks the other, and
then pours the milk down the drain.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one of them and
buy a bull.
Anarchy: You have two cows. They decide you have no
right to do anything with their milk and
leave to form their own society.
Industrialism: You have two cows. You dissect them both, and
figure out how to build a milk-factory
instead.
Centralism: You have two cows. And a problem finding them
in the middle of field with 100,000,000
others.
Environmentalism: You have two cows. You recycle the milk and
give it back to the cows.
Democracy: You have two cows. The vote is held, and they
win.
Now this is the end, my friends, you thought we'd never end,
etc.
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.
