"No one knows who was the first doctor to examine the rectal
orifice of the human frame."
First line of "The Romance of Proctology" (a book)
by Richard Karsmakers
After receiving a few letters from various people who turned out
to have read the previous issue's "Editorial" column, I think I
might just have to re-evaluate my opinion that nobody ever reads
these editorials except for the editors of other disk magazines
(and not even all of those). There are indeed other people that
read it, and of course they are the ones I'd like to hug and all
(smooch!), but fact is that the "Editorial" must be the least
frequently read column in ST NEWS ever.
Be that as it may, I am infamous for my sheer stubbornness.
Correspondingly, I will continue writing editorials until I quit
the whole magazine, most likely.
Speaking of quitting the whole magazine, it seems to have been
my proclamation of ST NEWS Volume 11 Issue 2 being the last that
triggered some people to write, "before it's too late" as it
were. That was really nice and, as we say in the Netherlands, "a
heart below the belt".
Anyway, I am not going on about that now.
What I would like to go on about is that I'd like that last
issue to be a really good one. So take your chances and write
something for ST NEWS. Chances are small it will be rejected -
you see we are really quite desperate - and, in any case, it will
cause the magazine to be a bit more diverse. So get your word
processors into gear and write something decent. Do an interview
with a celeb', write something about programming on ST or Falcon,
whatever. Or if you've written a nice piece of fiction, don't
think twice about sending it off to me. The fiction will also be
used in "Twilight World", a fiction-only magazine that is spread
exorbitantly all across the Internet. Speaking of "in touch with
the globe", baby, that's the way to do it. And, of course,
film/book/music/concert/software reviews are most welcome, too
(heavens, let's not forget those, shall we?)!
Now, however, I would also like to ask your attention for more
serious matters. What I am talking of here is my education. I am
currently half a year overdue for getting my English degree. It
won't get more, but half a year, money-wise, is not a small
amount. My thesis took longer than I had anticipated (partly my
own fault, I have to say) and, well, time just sucked away into
the Void Of Utter Nonbeing. So I'd like to use these last few ST
NEWS issues to get together as many donations as I possibly can.
If you have a spare tenner lying around somewhere (or, if you're
in a country where a loaf of bread costs about half a million
Lire or something, I'd like a millioner instead of a tenner),
bung it in an envelope and send it off to the correspondence
address. I really need it, for otherwise, well, I might not be
able to finish the one year teaching course after my English
studies. I'd be unemployed and living off welfare money and all.
I couldn't live doing that, so it'd mean, simply, I would have to
climb the nearest hill and jump off it. Suicide would be the only
solution for a failing life as an English student and budding
I can see you're moved. Whether to tears or to laughter is
beyond me to establish, but please consider sending something off
to the guy that just made you wink a tear or shed a smile (as it
So get those cheque books and suitcases full of money out of
your inside pockets and vaults, and send me as much as you can
get. Rare art would be nice, too, but please consider my taste,
so no Van Goghs. To make it better for you, I have pledged that,
as soon as the total amount of donations reaches, say, 250 Dutch
guilders, I will donate half of the money I get myself to my
favourite charities (right now these are Greenpeace and the World
Wildlife Fund). You can trust me on that. I am not one to think
lightly of some of the charities around the world. Especially if
they try to stop France from doing those awfully silly nuclear
tests, or try to stop those silly Japanese and Norwegians from
killing whales or those silly Chinese from using ground
rhinoceros horns or Siberian tigers' penises to supposedly get a
Any donations, like I said, are most welcome at the
correspondence address, either as an International Money Order or
in cash. In either case, any currency will do just fine.
A future generation of people yet ignorant of the pleasures of
English linguistics and literature will be thankful to you!
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.