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? Dieu of Hemoroids

 "When I was young and full of life
  I loved the local doctor's wife,
  And ate an apple every day
  To keep the doctor far away."
                                                    Thomas Lamont


           ST NEWS ADVENTURE SOLUTION: "WILLY BEAMISH"
                        by Math Claessens

DAY ONE:

RESPONSE  1-RESPONSE 3-OPEN DESK-USE WHITE CRAYON WITH  BLOCK  OF
WOOD-GET  HALL PASS-EXIT-WAIT UNTIL MS.GLASS FALLS A  SLEEP-LEAVE
CLASS-WALK  TO  BATHROOM-RESPONSE  1-SHOW THE HALL  PASS  TO  THE
COACH-IN  BATHROOM:RESPONSE  2-GIVE SPIDER  YOUR  GAMEBUDDY-LEAVE
SCHOOL-GET  REPORT CARD-ENTER HOUSE-RESPONSE 1-LISTEN TO ALL  THE
MESSAGES  ON THE TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE-GO TO  THE  KITCHEN-
TALK   TO  BRIANNA-RESPONSE  1-RESPONSE  2-GO  TO  THE   FOYER-GO
UPSTAIRS-GO TO THE BATHROOM-OPEN CUPBOARD-USE GERM  AWAY-RESPONSE
2-USE  PLASTER-EXIT-EXIT-GO  TO  YOUR  ROOM  (WILLY'S  ROOM)-PLAY
NINTARI-GET JAR FROM DRESSOR-EXIT-GO TO TIFFANY'S ROOM-GET DIARY-
RESPONSE 1-GO DOWNSTAIRS-GO TO THE LIVING ROOM-WHEN YOU'R  MOTHER
CALLS YOU,  GO TO THE DINING ROOM-RESPONSE 1-GIVE REPORT CARD  TO
DAD-RESPONSE  2 (SORRY DUFF)-GO TO THE LIVING ROOM-TALK  TO  DAD-
RESPONSE 2-GO INSIDE-GO TO THE DINING ROOM-GO TO THE LIVING ROOM-
GO TO FOYER-GO UPSTAIRS-GO TO THE BATHROOM-SHOW DIARY TO TIFFANY-
RESPONSE 1-GET KEY-GO TO YOUR ROOM-USE KEY ON COMPUTER-WAIT UNTIL
YOU MUST GO TO BED-GO TO BED............END OF DAY ONE...........

DAY TWO:

AT THE TABLE:RESPONSE 2-RESPONSE 2-LISTEN TO ALL THE MESSAGES  ON
THE TV-RESPONSE 2-AFTER THE CAR WAX GOTO THE LIVING ROOM-RESPONSE
1-AFTER  WALKING  WITH THE DOG:LEAVE HOUSE-GO  SOUTH  TO  WILLY'S
NEIGHTBERHOOD-GO  TO  THE TREEFORT-GET COMIC BOOK  (NEXT  TO  THE
FLAG)-TALK TO PERRY-RESPONSE 1-EXIT (LEAVE TREEFORT)-RESPONSE  2-
RESPONSE  1-THROW NO SMOKING SIGN IN BASKET-WAIT-RESPONSE  1-GIVE
COMIC TO SPIDER-IN TREEFORT :TALK TO DANA-LEAVE TREEFORT-TALK  TO
JOEY  THE  VENDOR-GIVE  MONEY TO  VENDOR-PUT  HORNY  ON  DISTANCE
MARKER-GIVE  SLAM  DUNK CLOA TO HORMY-EXIT-GO TO  EAST  FRUMPTON-
(RIGHT UPPER SIDE OF THE SCREEN)-GO TO OLDE TOWNE-GO TO FOUNTAIN-
GET  ONE COIN-EXIT-GO TO KIOSK-TALK TO KIOSK  VENDOR-RESPONSE  2-
GIVE PICTURE TO VENDOR-GO TO LOTTERY MACHINE-PUSH ON COIN  RETURN
LEVER-GET  LOTTERY TICKET-EXIT-GO TO EAST FRUMPTON-GO TO  WILLY'S
NEIGHTBERHOOD-GO  TO WILLY'S HOME-ENTER HOUSE-GO  UPSTAIRS-GO  TO
YOUR  ROOM-PLAY NINTARY-LEAVE ROOM-GO DOWNSTAIRS-WAIT  UNTIL  THE
BABYSITTER ARRIVES-GO TO KITCHEN-GO TO DINING ROOM-GO TO FOYER-GO
UPSTAIRS-GO TO BATHROOM-OPEN CUPBOARD-USE SPRAY ON BAT (PRESS THE
RIGHT  MOUSE BUTTON UNTIL YOU SEE THE BOTTLE WITH SPRAY AND  THEN
USE IT WITH YOUR LEFT MOUSE BUTTON)-EXIT-GO TO BRIANNA'S ROOM-GET
MOUSE-EXIT-GO  DOWNSTAIRS-GO TO THE LIVING ROOM-JUMP  BEHIND  THE
SETTEE-PUT MOUSE ON TABLE-HIT BAT........END OF DAY TWO..........

DAY THREE:

GO  TO  THE KITCHEN-RESPONSE1-GO TO THE FOYER-GO  TO  THE  LIVING
ROOM-RESPONSE  1-LEAVE  HOUSE-GOTO THE  TREEFORT-GET  JAR-GIVE  T
SHIRT  TO  DANA-EXIT-GO TO EAST FRUMPTON-GO TO OLDE  TOWNE-GO  TO
WEST  FRUMPTON (FERRY)-GIVE COIN TO GUS-GO TO TOOTSWEET-KNOCK  ON
WINDOW-EXIT-GO  TO  GOLDEN BOWL-GO TO GOLDEN  BOWL-GO  TO  GOLDEN
BOWL-GO  TO  GOLDEN  BOWL-GO TO GOLDEN BOWL-AFTER  YOU  HAVE  THE
MONKEY  WRENCH:THROW  SMOKE BOMB AT CRIPES-USE MONKEY  WRENCH  ON
FIRE  HYDRANTS-EXIT-GO TO TOOTSWEET-TALK TO  CHINESE-RESPONSE  1-
ENTER HOUSE-GO UPSTAIRS-GO TO YOUR ROOM-GO TO BED-END DAY THREE..

DAY FOUR:

GO TO THE LIVING ROOM-RESPONSE 1-GO TO THE KITCHEN=RESPONSE  1-GO
TO  FOYER-LEAVE HOUSE-GO TO EAST FRUMPTON-GO TO OLDE TOWNE-DO  TO
FERRY-GO  TO  TOOTSWEET-GIVE ENTRY BLANK TO  JUDGE-PLACE  JAR  OF
FLIES  NEAR THE TURBO FROG (NOT ON THE TURBO FROG)-TALK TO  HANS-
TALK  TO JUDGE-TALK TO BLONDE GUY-PRESS RED  BUTTON,  HORNY  WILL
JUMP,  YOU  MUST  WIN  THE CONTEST-GO  TO  TOOTSWEET  OFFICES-USE
DOGTAG'S CHAIN ON NINTARY KEY-USE CHAIN CARD AND KEY ON WILLY-SAY
:  HOOPA COILER AGAMENNON-EXIT-GO TO PIER-GO TO JETSKI-GO TO OLDE
TOWNE-GO  TO  HUMPFORD  MANSION-GO TO  HUMPFORD  MANSION-TALK  TO
PARROT-RESPONSE  1-RESPONSE 2-RESPONSE 1-RESPONSE 2-GO TO  DINING
ROOM-MOVE  CHALICE-GET CHALICE-PULL TABLE CLOTH-GO TO THE  LIVING
ROOM-PLACE  TABLE  CLOTH NEAR THE  ARMOR-PUSH  ARMOR-GET  MAP-GET
HELMET-GO TO DINING ROOM-GO TO KITCHEN-THROW CHALICE AT COOK-WALK
TO  COOK-EMPTY  THE PAN FROM THE STOVE ON THE  FLOOR  BEHIND  THE
COOK-PUSH  CAULDRON-EXIT-JUMP  TO  CONVEYER  BELT-PUT  HELMET  ON
COOK'S HEAD-PUSH RIGHT BUTTON ON PANEL TO FREE THE  FROGS-EXIT-GO
TO WEST FRUMPTON-LOOK AT WILLY (WITH MAGNIFYING GLASS)-GET RADIO-
EXIT-GO TO PIER-GO TO PLUMBER'S UNION-GO TO PHONE BOOT-PUT  RADIO
ON  SHELF-PUT PHONE ON RADIO-PUSH RECORD  BUTTON-DIAL:  741-6912-
PRESS RECORD BUTTON-DIAL:  3423403-PRESS PLAY BUTTON (WHEN RAY IS
ON  THE  LINE)-EXIT-GO  TO  GOLDEN  BOWL-ENTER  GOLDEN  BOWL-GIVE
LOTTERY  TICKET  TO  BURT-GET  CALENDER  (FROM  THE  BAR)-GO   TO
PLUMBER'S  UNION-OPEN  WINDOW-WALK TO THE DESK-THROW  PLUNGER  TO
LOUIS-GET  SECURITY PASS FROM DESK-EXIT-EXIT-GO TO SLUDGE  WORKS-
GIVE SECURITY PASS TO GUARD-GO TO SLUDGE WORKS-WALK TO  PLATFORM-
OPEN PANEL-PUSH SWITCH ON-PUSH BROWN BUTTON-PUSH PINK BUTTON-PUSH
GREEN BUTTON-PUSH PINK BUTTON-MOVE JOYSTICK LEFT-WALK TO  CONTROL
CENTER-WALK  TO  CONTROL PANEL-PUSH SWITCH  ON-TYPE:AIR-WHEN  THE
GUARDS ARRIVES:PUSH ENTER-TYPE:TRAM-PUSH ENTER-DUCK TO DODGE HAT-
GET HAT-THROW HAT TO STANLEY-WALK TO THE MIDDLE,  WHEN STANLEY IS
GONE-JUMP  RIGHT TO THE PLATFORM-JUMP TO THE  TRAM-FORWARD-RIGHT-
LEFT-FORWARD-LEFT-USE  JOJO ON WILLIE-WHEN LOUIS AND LEONA  STOPS
LAUGHING:THROW  THE JOJO AT THEM-JUMP TO HANDLE..END OF DAY  FOUR
AND END OF THE ADVENTURE.

 I know all you guys out there have problems with adventures,  be
they big or small.  Whatever the problem is,  I am there to solve
them. Never hesitate to call or write to me at the address below.

 Math Claessens
 Wagenaarstraat 58
 NL-6164 XM  Geleen (L)
 The Netherlands
 Tel. ++31-46-752532 (do mind possible time differences!)

 Don't  forget stampts if you write.  Don't forget the time  when
you call.  I prefer telecommunicative contacts between 19:30  and
22:00 hours if you don't mind.  And forget about contacting me in
any weekends! 

Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.