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            -=-= TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PC OWNERS =-=-

I.     Thou  shalt have a 486dx2 running at 66Mhz with  an  800Mb
       hard  disk,  16Mb  RAM,  SVGA  graphics  card  and  Gravis
       Ultrasound card to do anything useful.
II.    Thou shalt use thy PC to emulate other computers,  such as
       8-bit  machines;  play  games and talk about ye  good  ol'
III.   Thou shalt be eternally punished in the depths of hell for
       thy sins by using "Windows" and "MS-DOS".
IV.    Thou shalt not buy software on less than 10 HD disks.
V.     Thou  shalt laugh at software houses who believe  that  PC
       owners do not copy unprotected software.
VI.    Thou  must spend hours configuring software to run on  thy
VII.   Thou shalt pay through the roof for software.
VIII.  Thou shalt have outdated equipement within 12 months.
IX.    Thou  shalt  show  "Doom" to all  non-PC  owners  and  say
       repeatedly,  "You're machine can't do that!",  and not  be
       surprised when thumped.
X.     Thou shalt be a smug bastard and treat all other  computer
       users with contempt.

                   (c)2000BC God, Managing Director, Religon plc.

 And what about the XXIth:  Thou shalt always assume every  piece
of software or hardware peripheral,  even when it has "Atari"  or
"Commodore"  (or  even  "Nintendo")  written  on  it,  will  work
flawlessly on thy system,  and thou should raise thy eyebrows  in
indignation when it turns out not to.
                                             Anon (in the gutter)

                         (DECEMBER 17TH)
                      by Richard Karsmakers

 A new regular column,  and hardly a very useful one,  but it's a
nice trivial thing and it's not too big anyway,  so who'd give  a
toss anyway (it's also some promotion for the kind of output that
the  forthcoming  "Brain  Management Utility"  database  will  be
capable of doing).

 So...on December 17th the following things have happened:

     63 BC     Lazarus dies (for the second time, one might add)
     1737      John  Almon,  British parliamentary  reporter  and
               writer, born
     1778      Humphrey Davy, English chemist, born
     1807      John Greenleaf Whittier, writer, born
     1830      Simon  Bolivar,  South American revolutionary  and
               liberator, dies
     1835      Alexander Emmanuel Rodolphe Agassiz,  Swiss marine
               zoologist, oceanographer and mining engineer, born
     1906      Leonid Brezhnev, Soviet statesman, born
     1908      Sylvia Constance Ashton-Warner (Sylvia Henderson),
               New Zealand educator and writer, born
     1915      Edith Piaf, French singer, born
     1916      Toon Hermans, Dutch comedian, born
     1925      Rijk  de Gooyer,  Dutch writer/actor  (just  about
               every Dutch film, literally), born
     1931      Yvonne Keuls, Dutch feminist writer, born
     1937      Tommy Steele, actor, born
     1945      Christopher Cazenove, actor, born
     1964      Erik Simon, graphics (ES of the Exceptions), born
     1968      Paul Tracy, Indycar racing car driver, born
     ?         Hattie Hayridge, comedienne/actress (Hollie Mk. II
               in "Red Dwarf"), born
     1994      ST NEWS Volume 9 Issue 3 finished

 And that is what happened on this day, December 17th, in earlier

The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s) was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes, bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.