"To advertise is a form of prestidigitating by means of which a
conjuror induces his audience to pick its own pocket under the
impression that it is picking someone else's."
Gordon Bowker
THE LATEST CELLULOID NEWS
by Richard Karsmakers
Behold the third occurrence of the film news column. I don't
suppose I have to mention that most of the release dates given
here are primarily American ones, so you'll have to add a few
months for the UK, add a few more for the European continent.
Thanks for most of the news goes to Bryan D. Jones.
Release news
This is the bit based on Bryan D. Jones' work - a summary of
United States releases sorted by month.
DECEMBER
"Batman III" (directed by Joel Schumacher, not Tim Burton - and
Val Kilmer will be Batman), "Foundation", "Godzilla" (American)
and "Spiderman".
SOMEWHERE IN 1994
"The Black Panther", "Brutal Force", "Crusade" (yes, the film
starring Schwarzenegger by Paul Verhoeven, supposedly the most
expensive film ever so far), "The Lawnmowerman 2" (starring
Pierce Brosnan, who is also the new James Bond), "Sinbad Tales"
and "Tremors II" (which is hopefully not as pathetic as the
prequel).
SOMEWHERE IN 1995
"Catwoman" and "Pocahontas" (animated).
SOMEWHERE BEFORE 2000
"Star Wars I", "Star Wars II" and "Star Wars III".
FILMS THAT HAVE BEEN DONE, BUT NO RELEASE DATE SET YET
"Arizona Dream", "Day of Atonement", "The Hidden II", "The New
Age", "Tales From the Darkside: The Movie 2", "Red Rock West" and
"Slaughter of the Innocents".
FILMS THAT ARE CURRENTLY BEING SHOT (BANG!)
"Delores Clayborne", "Don't Do It", "Highlander III", "House
Party III", "Mary Reilly" (A version of "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde"),
"Monolith", "Silly Hillbillies on Mars" (animated) and "Tank
Girl".
FILMS THAT ARE PLANNED AND MAY BE DONE SOME DAY
"Alien 4" (where the Aliens will hit earth - I wonder how
they're going to solve the fact that Sigourney Weaver died in
"Alien 3"; it is said that "Alien III" will simply be rendered a
dream sequence), "The American", "Biker Mice from Mars"
(animated), "Black", "Blondie", "Cat Bone: The Return of
Huckleberry Finn", "Casper: the Friendly Ghost", "Concrete", "A
Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court", "The Count of Monte
Cristo" (remake), "The Creature From the Black Lagoon" (remake),
"Creepshow 3", "Dinotopia", "Fantasia Continued", "Flaming
Carrot", "The Fly III", "Forbidden Planet" (remake), "Forbidden
Planet" (sequel to remake), "The Good Doctor", "The Green
Hornet", "Guns and Roses" (?!), "Harlot's Ghost", "Hill Street
Blues: The Movie", "Honey West", "I Was a Teenage Werewolf"
(remake), "The Invisible Man" (remake), "Jurassic Park II"
(sequel due in 1996), "The List of Seven", "The Man in the Iron
Mask" (remake), "The Mangler", "The Men in Black", "Mortal
Kombat", "Mother Night", "Naked Gun 4", "Nuclear Family",
"Paradise Junction", "The Phantom", "Plastic Man", "The Postman",
"A Princess of Mars", "Private Lessons", "Puff the Magic Dragon"
(animated remake), "The Revenge of the Old Queen" (2nd sequel to
"Rocky Horror"), "Richie Rich", "Santiago", "Stars My
Destination", "The Stowaway to Mars", "Stranger in a Strange
Land", "The Talisman", "The Texas Rangers", "Thinner", "Trancers
VI" (video), "The Vampire Lestat", "Village of the Damned"
(remake), "War of the Worlds" (animated) and "Zone of Silence".
Some TV info
According to the Red Dwarf fan club, the next "Red Dwarf"
series, VII, will be produced mid 1995. It depends on contract
renewals, really, and Craig "Lister" Charles' court case and
Chris "Rimmer" Barrie's rumoured reluctance to continue will be
important factors.
More up-to-date information may be found in the next issue of ST
NEWS!
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.