"The future sucks. Change it."
Beavis & Butthead
WELL....ER....WELL.....UUUUH.....WHO THE HECK DO WE THINK WE ARE?
by many of the freakin' nutcases that ever wrote for this
freakin' magazine anywhere on this freakin' world
The "Who the Heck do We Think We Are" cluster of articles was
originally published in April 1989's ST NEWS Volume 4 Issue 3. I
had sent a load of standard questionnaires off to all the people
that had written or were still writing for the magazine, inspired
by something similar in the English Atari magazine "ST Action".
These articles are featured here once more in their entirety, to
allow you (as well as those questionnaire'd) to frown on the way
these people were over 7 years ago.
Even the spelling mistakes were left intact to increase the old
ST NEWS vibe <inanely zany grin>...
To be perfectly honest, the idea to make this article is not
quite as original as you might think; it was taken from April's
issue of "ST Action". We thought, however, that it was a
brilliant opportunity to tell you something about the people that
anticipated in the success of ST NEWS - right from the beginning!
Who was the guy behind the Esoteric ST column, way back in Volume
1? Who are those ultimately nutty Norwegians that sometimes write
for us? Who is this man that writes those magnificent
walkthrough stories and hiding behind the 'Crimson' pseudonym?
Who is this man that is capable of solving adventures with an
ease with which other peopple blow their nose? Who is this man
that seems to go on writing interesting stuff eternally about
Forth? Who are the loonies that actually edit the damn disk
magazine? Read on, poor reader, and behold what's there to see!
The people are presented in alphabetical order.
BERG, LUCAS VAN DEN..............................................
See elsewhere in this issue of ST NEWS.
BOER, MARK VAN DEN...............................................
Name: Mark van den Boer
Age: 24
Place of dwelling/nationality: Dordrecht, Dutch
Favourite food: Indian at Touw's
Worst food: Brussels Sprouts
Favourite drink: Apfelkorn (I drank a whole bottle at a party
recently)
Worst drink: Spa Red
Favourite films: Romancing the Stone, Star Wars (all)
Favourite TV programs: Mork & Mindy, Who's the Boss, Cheers, Alf
Worst TV programs: Op Goed Geluk, Ron's Honeymoon Quiz, Tineke
and Pin Up Club
Favourite book: Everything by Bob den Uyl or Margeret Weis &
Tracy Hickman; Frank Herbert - Dune Saga; Battus - Opperlandse
Taal-en Letterkunde
Worst book: None
Music tastes: Hard Rock, Queensrÿche, Rush
Worst music: Bros, Pasadenas, Rene Froger, Dutch Cryers (Hazes,
Alberts, etc.)
Likes: All things I don't dislike
Dislikes: All things I don't like
Computers previously/currently owned: C64 (previously owned),
Atari ST (now)
Favourite games: Championship Lode Runner, Lode Runner, Pitstop
II, Bard's Tale, Dungeon Master, Hack, Bubble Bobble, Seven
Cities of Gold, Tetris, Pipeline, Squad Leader, Risk
Worst games: Outrun
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Coming soon! (Which means: A bad game, one year later)
Ultimate ambition: Live on another planet
What do you like about yourself: Friendly, nice, honest, my face
in the mirror
What do you hate about yourself: My right earlobe is 1 mm. longer
than my left one
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Latest issue of ST
NEWS (Thanks very much! ED.)
Profession: Student
First article: Something about Interrupts (Volume 1)
BROD, CLAUS......................................................
Name: Claus Brod
Age: 23
Place of dwelling/nationality: Marktheidenfeld, West German (hey
- u knew all this already, didn't u)
Favourite food: Ratsherrntopf, my mother's "Käsesahne" and many,
many more
Worst food: Pea soup (German: Erbsensuppe)
Favourite drink: Table water
Worst drink: Coke (Claus?!?!. ED)
Favourite films: 2001, Brazil, Blue Velvet, Blues Brothers, Die
letzte Nacht des Boris Grutschenko (Last Night Of Boris
Grutchenko? Anyway, a film by Woody Allen), Stranger than
Paradise, Down by Law, Clockwork Orange, Back to the Future,
Harold & Maude, Life of Brian, Müllers Büro, Monty Python's
Meaning of Life, Little Big Man, When the Wind Blows, Purple
Rose of Cairo, Casablanca, The Big Dictator & some others. 2001
is the very best!
Favourite TV programs: News
Worst TV programs: German TV shows (Der große Preis - aargh!) and
American TV series
Favourite book: All Kurt Tucholsky books, all Douglas Adams books
Worst book: ?
Music tastes: Robert Palmer, Depeche Mode, Roy Orbison, many
songs of the 40s and 50s, Prince, Herbert Grönemeyer, Yazoo...
Worst music: German Folkmusic, American main stream music
Likes: Ulrike, the sun, my work, the ST
Dislikes: "Republikaner" and the rest of those new German Nazis,
PCs, Winter, Xmas
Previous computers: Commodore VIC20, C64
Current computers: ST, Mega ST2, 64, Amiga 500 (partly)
Favourite games: Shoot'em-up's, Pacman, Dig Dug, Donkey Kong,
Assembler (!), Mühle, Chess
Worst Games: War Games, Flight Simulators and nearly all other
computer games, dice games
What annoys you most about the software industry: Copy protection
Ultimate ambition: To become a good systems programmer and do
something useful 4 the world (no kiddin')
What do I like about myself: Being ambitious and curious
What do I hate about myself: Being too ambitious, being too
computerized
Most brilliant piece of ST software: Signum! II, Union Demo
Profession: Student of Computer Science, Writer ('ST Computer',
'KICKSTART', 'PD News', ST NEWS, SCHEIBENKLEISTER) & programmer
First article written 4 ST NEWS: The Track 41 Protector (ST NEWS
Volume 2 Issue 7)
BRUYN, JOHN DE...................................................
Name: John de Bruyn
Age: 22 (but soon 23!)
Favourite food: M&Ms
Favourite drink: Cherry Coke, Dr. Pepper
Worst drink: Anything containing alcohol (sorry Richard'n'Stefan)
Favourite films: Moonwalker, The Making of 'Thriller'
Favourite TV programs: Countdown and 'Dutch Top 40'
Worst TV programs: 'Allo 'Allo
Music tastes: Michael Jackson, early Madonna stuff
Worst music: The stuff that Stefan and Richard like
Likes: Going out on saturday night with Jacqueline (my
girlfriend), reading all disk magazines there are
Dislikes: Bad disk magazines
Previous/current computers owned: VIC-20, ZX-81, Atari ST, Texas
Instruments TI-99
Favourite games: Pacmania and Starglider II
Worst games: Mindless shoot-'em-ups
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Software piracy
Ultimate ambition: Proposing to Jacqueline; becoming the
president of a major company
What do you like about yourself: I am a good student
What do you hate about yourself: I tend to find bugs in all
programs
Most brilliant piece of software on the Atari ST: Timeworks DTP
Profession: Student (business administration)
First article written for ST NEWS: Something about disk magazines
KEN BUTLER.......................................................
Name: Ken Butler
Age: 64 (Yes! Our oldest co-conspirator!)
Place of dwelling/nationality: Middleton-on-Sea, English
Favourite food: Anything edible
Worst food: Crisps!
Favourite drink: Anything drinkable
Worst drink: Sewer water
Favourite film: Over 600...
Favourite TV programs: Films
Worst TV programs: Soaps
Favourite book: Cheque Book
Worst book: Book of Irish Jokes
Music tastes: Very catholic
Worst music: Punk, Heavy Metal
Likes: Nubile girls
Dislikes: Getting old
Previous/current computers owned: Texas, Spectrum, Atari ST
Favourite games: Too old to play that!
Worst games: Unplayable arcade
What is the thing that annoys you most about the software
industry: Never on time. Poor after support
Ultimate ambition: Peaceful death - it is the ulimate. What more
do you want. Present ambition is to live longer!
What do you like about yourself: Can't think of anything
What do you hate about yourself: A cumbling yuppie
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Flightsimulator II
Profession: Retired
First article written for ST NEWS: STatarian Love STory (end '87)
CAMPHAUSEN, RUFUS C..............................................
Name: Rufus C. Camphausen
Age: 41
Place of dwelling/nationality: Amsterdam (Holland), German
Favourite food: Hot exotic dishes
Worst food: Beetroot
Favourite drink: DOM Benedictine
Worst drink: Pepsi Cola
Favourite films:
Favourite TV programs: MTV, CNN
Worst TV programs: EO-Productions, Teleac
Favourite book: Robert Briffault - The Mothers (1927)
Worst book: Too many to name
Music tastes: Tanita Tikaram, Annie Lennox, Irene Papes etc.,
Klaus Schulze, Vangelis, Robert Slap etc., Aboriginal etc.
Ritual Music
Worst music: All those I don't like
Likes:
Dislikes:
Previous/current computers owned: ZX Spectrum, and Atari 520 ST+
(previous), Atari MEGA ST2, Megafile 30, BW-Monitor (current)
Favourite games: None
Worst games: Almost all
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: A certain single-mindedness when it comes to selecting
programs that are "wanted" by the "market"; too much of the
same; too few experiments and fringe-interest software
Ultimate ambition: Can best be described as being and financially
and psychologically independent, hard working, free lancing free
thinker, writer, artist, programmer and maker
What do you like about yourself: That I'm able and willing to
waste a little time once in a while (for example writing such
answers to such questions)
What do you hate about yourself: Hate is unhealthy; so I don't
deal in it
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: GfA Basic
Profession: Manager (Kosmos Special Store (Books & Music), Kosmos
Vegetarian Restaurant, Kosmos Coffeeshop, Kosmos Sauna)
First article written for ST NEWS: The Esoteric ST Column (ST
NEWS Volume 1!)
CLAESSENS, MATH..................................................
Name: Math Claessens
Age: 36
Place of dwelling/nationality: Geleen, Dutch
Favourite food: Pizza Proscuti Flingi
Worst food: Peas and carrots
Favourite drink: Beer; all kinds of fruit juice
Worst drink: Tonic
Favourite films: E.T., Gremlins, Rambo III, Die Hard
Favourite TV programs: Alf
Worst TV programs: The TV Show (Ivo Niehe)
Favourite book: Cartoons, Tolkien, James Clavell, Allistair
McLean
Worst book: ? (I don't buy bad books)
Music tastes: Country'n'Western
Worst music: Classical stuff
Likes: Women
Dislikes: Our government
Previous/current computers owned: Philips Videopac, C-64, Amiga
500, Atari ST
Favourite games: Adventures, King Quest IV
Worst games: The Grail
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: That they advertise a very long time before a game is
actually published
Ultimate ambition: A long and healthy life, no more; maybe half a
million
What do you like about yourself: Almost everything
What do you hate about yourself: A bit too much fat on the wrong
places
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: The Pawn, King's
Quest IV
Profession: None
First article written for ST NEWS: Solution to Zork I or II
FISCHER, UDO.....................................................
Name: Udo "-ME-" Fischer
Age: 24
Place of dwelling/nationality: Guetersloh, German
Favourite food: Lasagna
Worst food: Spinache
Favourite drink: All that is liquid
Worst drink: Afri-Cola
Favourite films: Blues Brothers
Favourite TV programs: Star Trek
Worst TV programs: Dynasty
Favourite book: SF & Fantasy
Worst book: ST Intern (First Edition)
Music tastes: Blues, Jimi Hendrix
Worst music: Disco
Likes: Work peacefully behind a computer
Dislikes: Double work
Previous/current computers owned: C-64, ST
Favourite games: Ultima, Tetris, Shanghai, Zynaps
Worst games: Down at the Trolls
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Nothing
Ultimate ambition: Writing a nice role-playing game
What do you like about yourself: Being lazy
What do you hate about yourself: Being lazy
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: K-SEKA
Profession: Mathematical-scientifical assistant
First article written for ST NEWS: Raster Interrupts
GUNTER (FORGOT TO MENTION HIS SURNAME, WHICH I DON'T KNOW).......
Name: Gunter /6719
Age: 20
Place of dwelling/nationality: Guetersloh, German
Favourite food: Lasagna
Worst food: Pea Soup
Favourite drink: Coca Cola
Worst drink: Sprite
Favourite films: Star Wars I/II/III, Blues Brothers
Favourite TV programs: Star Trek; Magnum
Worst TV programs: Dallas, Dynasty
Favourite book: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Worst book: Amiga User Manual
Music tastes: Rock; Chris de Burgh; Phil Collins
Worst music: Sammy Fox; Heavy Metal
Likes: Being lazy on a sunny afternoon
Dislikes: Washing a huge pile of cups & plates in our kitchen
Previous/current computers owned: C-64, ST
Favourite games: Archon (C-64), Tetris (ST)
Worst games: Street Gang +....I don't like listing them all
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Promising too early release dates
Ultimate ambition: Destroying all of Erik's possessions
What do you like about yourself: The ability to disappear
completely so that nobody can find me, if necessary
What do you hate about yourself: Never arriving at the right time
(both too late and too early)
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Warp
Profession: Programmer at Thalion
First article written for ST NEWS: Wizards Part VI: Border stuff
HATLEMARK, RONNY.................................................
Name: Ronny Hatlemark
Age: Next year I'm a teenager no more! By the way, Stefan and
myself are born on the very same day, the 14th of April. Yeah!
Place of dwelling/nationality: Ørsta (You'd better buy a better
map!), The Land of the Vikings
Favourite food: Halibut, spaghetti, Italian pan, pizza and other
junk food (hot or cold, anythin'll do!)
Worst food: Fårikål (Norwegian food containing sheep, cabbage
and black pepper), softcake and pickled herring
Favourite drink: Coca-Cola is it! Ringnes beer and champagne
Worst drink: Tab, prussic acid and pirate juice
Favourite films: Trashin, Back to the Future, The China Syndrome,
Bruce Lee the Legend + films directed by Spielberg, Lucas,
Hughes, Thompson, Cameron, Zemenicks and Carpenter. The films
made by Ørsta-/Mediafilm (here I am!) must also be mentioned
Favourite TV programs: ALF and Moonlighting (I like the crap talk
in both) + Norwegian stuff by Kirkevåg/Lystad/Mjøen (Funny!)
Worst TV programs: Norwegian Architecture and This is Your Life,
though I haven't watched these to the full (I fell asleep)
Favourite book: The Hitchhikers series and stuff by Frederick
Forsyth. Looking forward to read Tolkien!
Worst book: Any book that contains more than 300 pages and that
is sooo exciting that I waste a lot of time reading it. I'm a
slow reader, and I'm gonna hate Tolkien!
Music tastes: Vangelis, Simon and Garfunkel, The Beatles, Dieter
Falk, Twisted Sister, Scorpions, Metallica, GN'R, Dance with a
Stranger, Dum Dum Boys, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, Manfred Man, etc.,
and the song: 'I want my baby back!' (heard it only once on
the radio)
Worst music: Popcorn Explosions, modern Jazz, noise, classic
music made by Norwegian composers, and pop music not done by the
gorgeous female that performs it (I like her though)
Likes: The Sheela in 'Crocodille Dundee', Morgan Fairchild and
other goodlookin', parties, dancing (though I'm not good),
making videos, enthusiaSTic ST owners, the Universal II file
selector, street sucking (skateboard), computer discussions and
smiling girls saying: "Shall we... etc."
Dislikes: The fact that people get tired (what a waste...), the
"success" of Commodore (in Norway), the Amiga (workbench),
computer owners that copy games (only) from their neighbours
(only), bad-service-retailers, and eating hamburgers with too
much dressing. I hate heavy newspapers (my job is to carry them)
Previous/current computers owned: ZX Spectrum 16K (for one week),
Amstrad CPC464, CPC6128 and PC1512, Atari 520STFM, 1040STF and
Ronex TPC-8300. I would also like to mention my dear calculator;
The Sharp EL-506P
Favourite games: Infocom adventures, Bubble Bobble, Three
Musketeers, Larry and Super Sprint, and the true game of life
(My score is 6965 days and not yet dead!)
Worst games: Those of Paradox and Antic (except Strip Poker II+
and Trivia Trove) and games that are made uncompletable because
of few levels
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: That I'm not able to make excellent software so that I
can show the world what excellent software should look like!
Ultimate ambition: Meet the girl of my dreams, date her, propose
to her, marry her, f.ck her and die... Also to get rid of my
modesty (I just tried!)
What do you like about yourself: Well, eh, maybe I could
mention... hm, at least I'm... er, nice... and...
What do you hate about yourself: My modesty!!!
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Cool it, baby! I'm
working on it... I just need a few more years, that's all!
Profession: Student, editor of ST-Klubben, distributor of ST
NEWS, paperboy and Something Entirely Different...
First article written for ST NEWS: The Ultimate Answer
HEESSELS, ROBERT.................................................
Name: Robert Heessels
Age: 24
Place of dwelling/nationality: Bladel, Dutch
Favourite food: "Boerenkool Stamppot" (mashed potatoes with curly
kail)
Worst food: None
Favourite drink: Guiness
Worst drink: Buttermilk
Favourite films: Mississippi Burning
Favourite TV programs: Studio Sport
Worst TV programs: Pin-Up Club
Favourite book: Foundation Trilogy (Asimov)
Worst book: Such a lot
Music tastes: Irish music
Worst music: Heavy stuff
Likes: Kitty (the girlfriend, ED.)
Dislikes: 8086/8088
Previous/current computers owned: Pet, Tandy, Atari 800, MSX II,
MacIntosh, ZX81, C-64, MS-DOS, Sharp, Amiga, Atari ST
Favourite games: Pacman
Worst games: Many...
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Copying
Ultimate ambition: Being happy
What do you like about yourself: Programming skill
What do you hate about yourself: Nothing
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Prof Wijsneus
Profession: Programmer
First article written for ST NEWS: GfA Help program (something
with using resource files, wasn't it?)
HIPPEL, JOCHEN...................................................
Name: Jochen "Mad Max" Hippel
Age: 17
Place of dwelling/nationality: Kirchheimbolenden, German
Favourite food: Pizza; all sizes
Worst food: Linsensuppe (what the heck is THAT in English?)
Favourite drink: Cola
Worst drink: Jägermeister
Favourite films: Ghostbusters, Blind Date
Favourite TV programs: "Die Zwei"
Worst TV programs: Dallas
Favourite book: Spellsinger by A.D. Foster
Worst book: Tokyo Telephone Book
Music tastes: Lynyrd Skynyrd, J.M. Jarre
Worst music: Heavy Metal
Likes: ST (NEWS), Computer-music, sleeping, eating, being lazy
Dislikes: Traitors, dogs
Previous/current computers owned: C-64, ST, Amiga, Casio FX-850P
Favourite games: Midi Maze
Worst games: Graffity Man
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Much to much rubbish is produced
Ultimate ambition: Sleeping 24 hours a day
What do you like about yourself: Being lazy
What do you hate about yourself: Nothing
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: TFMX, K-SEKA
Profession: Pupil
First article written for ST NEWS: Wizards Part V: Sound prg.
HOFMEESTER, EERK.................................................
Name: Eerk Hofmeester
Age: 25
Place of dwelling/nationality: Eindhoven, Dutch
Favourite food: Lasagna
Worst food: Peanutbutter
Favourite drink: FRESH (!!!) Juice
Worst drink: ???
Favourite films: Children of a Lesser God
Favourite TV programs: Keek op de Week
Worst TV programs: Op Goed Geluk
Favourite book: Foundation Trilogy (Asimov)
Worst book: All porno stuff
Music tastes: Everything except heavy and operette
Worst music: Heavy stuff
Likes: Dorothé (the girl living next door, ED.)
Dislikes: Narrow minded people
Previous/current computers owned: Atari ST
Favourite games: Little Computer People
Worst games: Many...
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Copying
Ultimate ambition: Being happy
What do you like about yourself: My mind
What do you hate about yourself: I always bite
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: PicWorks
Profession: Artist
First article written for ST NEWS: Novelette - Just like the Real
Thing
HUSTADNES, FRØYSTEIN.............................................
Name: Frøystein Hustadnes
Age: 16
Place of dwelling/nationality: Austefjord, Norway
Favourite food: Pete's hamburgers (Lincoln, England), ice cream,
most unhealthy stuff
Worst food: I hate fish...
Favourite drink: Apple cider (Can't remember the brand)
Worst drink: Any liquid containing more alcohol than apple cider
Favourite films: "The holy grail", "The meaning of life",
"Pirates", "The last emperor", and any film featuring the "Top
gun" girl
Favourite TV programs: Hm..."Do you remember...?" I have never
watched it for more than five minutes
Worst TV programs: All good. They keep me away from my ess tea.
Second thought, I liked early Black Adder stuff
Favourite book: Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"
Worst book: "Breakheart pass", by Alistair MacLean
Music tastes: The Blues Brothers, U2, Pink Floyd (Especially "The
Wall"), Maynard Ferguson (The trumpet wizard)
Worst music: Iron Maiden, Wasp, Twisted Sisters, Motorhead,
'commercial' music, including rapping and disco
Likes: Fishing (My cat eats most of what I get), finding bugs in
other people's programs, teasing poor CGA graphic card folks,
writing letters full of drivel, programming in GfA, kicking,
shaving and burying cats alive, shooting whales and seals with
an air gun (I hope a lot of those Green Piss fanatics read
this)
Dislikes: Heavy metal, TV, people messing about with loading
pictures or trying to take the honour of programs/ideas other
people made/ got, Green Really-Piss-Me-Up fanatics
Previous/current computers owned: Texas TI99/4A, Sony Hit Bit
(MSX), Commodore 64, Amstrad PC 1512, Atari 520 and 1040 ST
Favourite games: Elite, Virus(The game!), International Karate+,
MIDI Maze, Lombard RAC rally
Worst game: Hellfire, Alien Syndrome
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: People selling things they have copied free of cost
Ultimate ambition: To live where I live now and to earn lots of
money on selling self made demos
What do you like about yourself: I tend to find bugs in all
programs, I am
What do you hate about yourself: No thing
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: The Union Demo
(Although I found some bugs at last!)
Profession: Student, part time ichtyophil
First article written for ST NEWS: The earth is flat!
JANSSEN, CAREL...................................................
Name: Carel Janssen
Age: 49
Residence: Terheijden, Dutch
Favourite food: Mussels (My own recipe!!)
Worst food: I wouldn't know. I will probably eat just all that'll
be served in wathever region of our beloved planet. I hate
SPOILED food, that is the worst food of all!!
Favourite drink: Wine. Most of all a Beaujolais and of that a
Morgon, Chenas (Chateau Bonnet) or Moulin-a-Vent.
Worst drink: Cod-liver-oil.
Favourite TV programs: In what language on what computer is that
written?
Worst TV programs: See previous statement
Favourite books: I'll wait till Richard's finished his novel!
Worst book: The worst book I ever read, I never read!
Music tastes: All music that makes me fly; so no particular
composer or style is favourite to me, although J.S. Bach's
swinging music is trying to persuade me for years. But still
I'll stand !!
Worst music: There are bad musicians, yes there are!! And there
is music that bores me. And that music may be of all times.
Nothing particular so! May be an electr. gitar, may be I'm going
to hate that.
Likes: Argueing...mmmmmmm!! As a game more, sharpening my wit.
And playing music !
Dislikes: To have to keep my mouth shut!!
Previous computers owned: Texas Instruments 99/4a and an Acorn
Electron
Current computers owned: 260 ST + 1040 ST
Favourite game: I don't like to play games on a computer. I could
not ever win one all my life!!
Worst game: That will probably be the game that I can win! But I
don't know one !
What do you dislike most about the software industry: They don't
like me to steal from them, but they don't care a thing to steal
from each other and from the Public Domain. The S.I. should sell
its products at the average price of a good book or CD. The work
invested in the latter two is often much and much more than in
most computer games at the first place and in much other
computerware as well. And more, the S.I. should improve its
products by itself and not by the work of never paid users.
Furthermore, illegal software isn't that bad. My experience is,
that in many cases, you will not use it, because you lack the
support of a good manual and the updates. So, illegal software
stimulates the need of legal software. In one, the S.I. should
most of all learn to become a real industry.
Ultimate ambition: At last mastering the Gaelic language
What do you like about yourself: That I love my wife, now more
than yesterday
What do you hate about yourself: That there is only one like me,
that looks like me! Think about that!!
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: I only saw it lately,
but it made a deep impression. STEVE. Marvellous!!
Profession: I am corrector with a newspaper. In Latin it means
the same as conrector, but it pays less. But I'm just offered a
new kind of job. It pays more in money and satisfaction.
First article: FORTH COURSE I
KARSMAKERS, RICHARD..............................................
Name: Richard Karsmakers
Age: Nun of your business (well....it's 21)
Place of dwelling/nationality: Utrecht, Dutch
Favourite food: Spaghetti Bolognese, everything containing pork
with Babi Pangang sauce, Lasagna
Worst food: Ginger, Radishes, Olives and something that I don't
know how to spell but tastes bad and smells even worse than the
excrements of a Mutant Mega Monster of Multifizzic Omega
Favourite drink: Plantiac Vieux, Coca Cola
Worst drink: Pangalactic Gargleblaster, pineapple juice, regular
beer
Favourite films: Deer Hunter, Roger Rabbit, The Longest Day,
The Dark Crystal, Neverending Story (except for the end), Return
of the Pink Panther, The Naked Gun
Favourite TV programs: Beauty and the Beast, Family Ties, all
cartoons
Worst TV programs: Anything educational or presented by a
gameshow/talkshow host
Favourite book: Lord of the Rings by Tolkien; recently also "The
Dark Long Tea-Time of the Soul" by Douglas Adams
Worst book: Anything by Harry Mulisch; David Copperfield
Music tastes: Metallica, Yngwie Malmsteen, Rush, Guitar Masters,
Deep Purple
Worst music: Hip hop, New Beat and all Acid except for Stakker's
"Humanoid"
Likes: Patricia, and all the females mentioned in ST NEWS Volume
4 Issue 2's 'hidden article' (ALT+M in menu mode), as well as
writing lengthy introductory novelettes, listening to Great
Music Creators...er...trying to conceive programs that are
Frøystein-proof, and reading other disk magazines that are
written in some sort of language that vaguely resembles English
but that is so full of errors that you can only laugh about it
Dislikes: Fat, little, arrogant and unesthetical Amiga owners
whose beard hairs are already growing back into their fat little
necks; biological-as well as computer-viruses; people that rip
off my "VDU"
Previous/current computers owned: Atari ST, Commodore 64,
Sinclair QL, Cambridge Computer Z88, Commodore Amiga
(aaargghh!), VIC 20 (about 27 minutes and 52 seconds)
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble, Super Sprint, New Sierra Stuff,
War in Middle Earth, Nebulus, Gridrunner (ST version!), Populous
Worst games: Super Huey, Pacland, Kennedy Approach
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: People selling illegal software
Ultimate ambition: Gettin' to be pretty famous, driving a red
Ferrari Testarossa and winin'n'dinin' this great Californian
chick with long legs, blond hair and enormous MC68000
programming knowledge; becoming a professional member of a
Dynamic U.S.-based Dream Team with Stefan, learning C fluently
What do you like about yourself: My intelligence, ambition,
talent, good looks and programming skills
What do you hate about yourself: I cannot seem to be modest...
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: GfA Basic 3.0
Profession: Student without something to study
First article written for ST NEWS: Er.....uhh....oops, I forgot!
KUUS, WILLEKE....................................................
Name: Willeke Kuus
Age: 21
Place of dwelling/nationality: Soest, Dutch
Favourite food: Shoarma
Worst food: Liver
Favourite drink: Cola
Worst drink: Beer
Favourite films: Big, Willow, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Favourite TV programs: Who's the Boss, Rondom Tien
Worst TV programs: Miami Vice, Op Volle Toeren
Favourite book: Jan Jans en de Kinderen
Worst book: Twenty-in-a-nickle romantic novels
Music tastes: Herman Brood, Crowded House, Toto, The Cure, The
Sound
Worst music: Simon & Garfunkel, Koos Alberts
Likes: Everything that has to do with making music; bands;
clothes
Dislikes: Arrogant people; people who always have headaches
Previous/current computers owned: Er...none
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble
Worst games: I don't know any, but there are bound to be a lot
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Not enough women in it
Ultimate ambition: Learning to sing and become a singer
What do you like about yourself: I am slim
What do you hate about yourself: I am not slim enough
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: ST NEWS
Profession: I work with mentally and physically handicapped
children
First article written for ST NEWS: Why girls hate computers
LEMMEN, FRANK....................................................
Name: Frank Lemmen
Age: 21
Place of dwelling/nationality: Helmond, Dutch
Favourite food: Chinese
Worst food: None
Favourite drink: Amaretto di Saronno
Worst drink: Whiskey
Favourite films: Roger Rabbit
Favourite TV programs: Keek op de Week, Pin-Up Club
Worst TV programs: Op Goed Geluk
Favourite book: ST NEWS (good joke, Frank! ED)
Worst book: ?????
Music tastes: Everything except Heavy stuff
Worst music: Heavy Stuff
Likes: Girls
Dislikes: The Amiga Operating System
Previous/current computers owned: Commodore VIC 20, Commodore 64,
Atari ST, Amiga 500
Favourite games: Falcon
Worst games: Many...
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Copying
Ultimate ambition: Happy (lotsa $$$$)
What do you like about yourself: All of it
What do you hate about yourself: None of it
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Virus Fixer
Profession: Manager at STRIKE-a-LIGHT
First article written for ST NEWS: Something in the second or
third issue of Volume 1 (the .DOC issues, remember?)
MOSS, TIM........................................................
Name: Tim Moss (Manikin of The Lost Boys)
Age: 18
Place of dwelling/nationality: Teddington (West London), English
Favourite food: Kebabs
Worst food: Curry (of any type!)
Favourite drink: Southern Comfort & Orange
Worst drink: Carrot Juice
Favourite films: ?
Favourite TV programs: Cheers
Worst TV programs: Lost in Space!
Favourite book: Anything by Stephen King
Worst book: The Bible
Music tastes: Simple Minds, Midnight Oil, S-Express, Frankie GTH
Worst music: Heavy Metal, Des'o'Connor
Likes: Catherine (the girlfriend)
Dislikes: Football; women in high heels and short skirts who have
bad legs
Previous/current computers owned: Atari 800 & BBC Micro
(previous) and Atari 1040 STF (current)
Favourite games: Speedball, Dungeon Master
Worst games: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Companies that pass out trashy conversions at about 1
a week. Mentioning no names! (U.S. Gold)
Ultimate ambition: To make loadsa money
What do you like about yourself: My height. At 6'1" it's just
right!
What do you hate about yourself: My hair (I'm going grey at
18!!!)
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Devpac 2, Dungeon
Master
Profession: Student
First article written for ST NEWS: The Twist Scroll (in this
issue)
OSE, TORBJØRN....................................................
Name: Torbjørn Ose (NOT TOBJØRN!!)
Age: Almost 19
Place of dwelling/nationality: Ørsta, Norway
Favourite food: Pizza (even cold ones!)
Worst food: Any kind of porridge
Favourite drink: Coca Cola is it! and most kinds of lemonade
Worst drink: Most alcoholic drinks
Favourite films: Most Spielberg stuff and some good action films
Favourite TV programs: I can't think of any good TV programs...
Worst TV programs: See above
Favourite book: THE guide... (need I say more)
Worst book: Atari owners manual
Music tastes: Just about anything except norwegian folk music. I
enjoy listening to the "Stefan and Richard ST NEWS chorus"
version of the Metallica tune called "ONE". Which is
(fortunately?) not available to the public. I especially like
Jarre and Vangelis who really makes some truly brilliant synth
musix. My favourite Norwegian group is DUM DUM BOYS
Worst music: Norwegian folk music
Likes: programming (mostly 68000 but also GFA), reading disk
magazines, watching stunning demos and intros, driving, skiing,
wind surfing and lots of other things.
Dislikes: People changing scroll texts and loading pictures,
people selling pirated software. (REMARK: I am not completely
against spreading of illegal software. If I couldn't get free
software I know that both myself and probably many others would't
have bought a computer at all. But I am totally against selling
pirated software). Well back to the list of things I dislike:
bugs, bombs, bad English, any error messages and of course viruses
Previous/current computers owned: Spectrum 48K and AMSTRAD CPC6128
(I bought this one from Ronny). I still own these 8 bit computers
in addition to my ATARI 1040STFM
Favourite games: Barbarian II (to get out all aggression), Chuckie
Egg (makes me remember the good old days with platform and ladder
games), Eliminator (A stunning game!), Devpac V2 (I play this one
for hours..)
Worst games: Joust
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: The prices...
Ultimate ambition: Becoming the greatest guy in the universe!
What do you like about yourself: Just about everything. I
particulary like my addiction towards computers and the English
language
What do you hate about yourself: Lack of modesty when filling in
forms that are supposed to be filled in with serious stuff.
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Devpac2 and The Union
Demo
Profession: Student (Business and Administration)
First article written for ST NEWS: Relocation
PIPER............................................................
Name: Piper
Age: Immensely old
Place of dwelling/nationality: London (Black Heath), England
Favourite food: Chocolate fudge
Worst food: Suede
Favourite drink: Drambuie
Worst drink: Tea
Favourite film: Little Big Man
Favourite TV programs: Hill Street Blues, Thirty Something
Worst TV programs: Eastenders, Neigbours
Favourite book: Belgariad (David Eddings)
Worst book: The Worm Oroberous
Music tastes: Most things. David Sylvian, Peter Gabriel, Kate
Bush especially
Worst music: Anything Richard likes
Likes: --
Dislikes: --
Previous/current computers owned: Spectrum, Atari ST
Favourite games: Dungeon Master, Shadowgate
Worst games: Teenage Queen
What is the thing that annoys you most about the software
industry: Vaguery + pricing
Ultimate ambition: World Domination
What do you like about yourself: Everything
What do you hate about yourself: Everything else
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Dungeon Master
Profession: Variable
First article written for ST NEWS: The Obliterator Story
POSTHUMA, STEFAN.................................................
Name: Stefan Posthuma
Age: Ah! Just a year older than Richard
Place of dwelling/nationality: Den Bosch, Dutch
Favourite food: Anything with lotsa peppers, onions, garlic and
hot sauce
Worst food: Peanutbutter sandwiches and all health food
Favourite drink: Coke (with or without Bacardi) or Plantiac
Worst drink: Water
Favourite films: Anything by Spielberg, George Lucas or James
Cameron and anything starring Chevy Chase, Dan Akroyd, Eddie
Murphy and/or Arnold Schwarzenegger
Favourite TV programs: Family Ties, Storyteller, Twilight Zone
and Fawlty Towers
Worst TV programs: Dallas, Dynasty and other neverending soaps
Favourite book: The Hithhiker Series and the Chronicles of Thomas
Covenant; Playboy's Book of Forbidden Words
Worst book: Everything that isn't in English
Music tastes: Metallica, Jean Michel Jarre and more heavy and
synth stuff
Worst music: Anything created by Stock, Aitken and Waterman plus
all Dutch shit
Likes: Chocolate Mousse, girls in general, fast computers and
Jeff Minter games, as well as reading Tolkien and Donaldson
Dislikes: People that talk too much, cold pizza
Previous/current computers owned: Philips Videopac (computer?),
VIC 20, CBM 64, Philips :YES PC and Atari ST!
Favourite games: Bubble Bobble, Elite and Hitchhicker's Guide to
the Galaxy as well as Andes Attack
Worst games: All Chess programs (all beat me even at level 0)
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Software houses creating substandard games and tell
everybody that they are 'THE best shoot-them-up' etc.
Ultimate ambition: To become stupefyingly rich and to once resist
a poetry reading by a Vogon; programming a parallax-scrolling
and hugely mindchucklingly funny ST game; becoming a member of a
Dynamic U.S.-based Dream Team with Richard; learning Norwegian
so that I can read "ST Klubben"
What do you like about yourself: Everything
What do you hate about yourself: Nothing
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: The Union Demo
Profession: Full time computer programmer
First article written for ST NEWS: Writing your own Adventures
(way back in Volume 1....)
RAMOS, ANDREAS...................................................
Name: Andreas Ramos
Age: 33
Place of dwelling/nationality: Denmark, U.S.A.
Favourite food: Indian Lamb in yoghurt
Worst food: British cooking
Favourite drink: Hannen Alt. (German Beer)
Worst drink: Milk
Favourite films: Die Hard, Stranger than Paradise
Favourite TV programs: Test Pattern
Worst TV programs: White House Press Conferences
Favourite book: Pale Fire, Nabokov
Worst book: Snoopy
Music tastes: Avant Garde Punk
Worst music: Abba
Likes: Psychedelic Furs, The The, Talking Heads
Dislikes: Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen
Previous/current computers owned: None
Favourite games: Flight Simulators
Worst games: Joystick games
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Pirates
Ultimate ambition: To be a Rock'n'Roll star; to grow up
What do you like about yourself: Great sense of humour
What do you hate about yourself: Not serious enough
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Le Redacteur
Profession: PhD Philosophy (And of course the Danish distributor
of ST NEWS! ED.)
First article written for ST NEWS: Cartographer review (?)
SIMON, ERIK......................................................
Name: Erik "ES" Simon
Age: 25
Place of dwelling/nationality: Guetersloh, German
Favourite food: Curry Chicken
Worst food: Spinache
Favourite drink: German Wine
Worst drink: Beer
Favourite films: Last Unicorn, Blues Brothers
Favourite TV programs: Star Trek (Old!)
Worst TV programs: Commercials
Favourite book: Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien; Dragonriders
of Pern by Anne McCuffrey; Hitchiker's Guide; How to make an
Anchor out of your Amiga by TCB
Worst book: Amiga DOS Programming
Music tastes: Led Zeppelin, Manfred Mann, Jethor Tull, Rob
Hubbard
Worst music: Stock-Aitken-Waterman
Likes: Drivin' my Bike
Dislikes: Militarism
Previous/current computers owned: C-64, ST, PC Engine, Amiga
Favourite games: Archon, Backlash, R-Type, Ultima, Bubble Bobble,
Sentinel, Hard Drivin'
Worst games: Sooo many, don't have the space
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Untrustworthy people + companies
Ultimate ambition: Setting pixels
What do you like about yourself: Being tall & having a beard
What do you hate about yourself: Eating too much
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Union Demos, Spectrum
512, NeoChrome
Profession: Game designer + graphic artist at Thalion
First article written for ST NEWS: Vertical Rasters
STUMPE, GUIDO....................................................
Name: Guido Stumpe
Age: 24
Place of dwelling/nationality: Bonn, German
Favourite food: Gulasch with Nudeln
Worst food: I don't know
Favourite drink: Coca Cola
Worst drink: I don't know...sorry!
Favourite films: Star Trek (best one: Number four!)
Favourite TV programs: SAT1/RTL Science Fiction Series
Worst TV programs: Soccer
Favourite book: The Treasure at Silver Lake; Karl May Books
Worst book: Bad computer books (no specific company!!)
Music tastes: Nothing special
Worst music: Again....I don't know
Likes: Swapping PD disks (ST NEWS and ST-Computer); Atari & Mac
Computers
Dislikes: Doing sports
Previous/current computers owned: Atari Mega ST2, MacIntosh+
Favourite games: Dungeon Master, Carrier Command, Dugger (I like
this very much!)
Worst games: Games from Magic Bytes (not too good), MS-DOS
emulator and the Magic Sac MacIntosh Emulator from Robtek
What is the thing that most annoys you about the software
industry: Never enough software to test, and often software's
too expensive
Ultimate ambition: Programming in GfA Basic, or digitizing with
the video-or sound digitizer
What do you like about yourself: My hobby and works on the ST
What do you hate about yourself: I'm too fat !! Garfield !!
Most brilliant piece of software on the ST: Calamus DTP
Profession: Selling computers and software in Bonn (And of course
being the German distributor of ST NEWS! ED.)
First article written for ST NEWS: Aladin V2.0 article
Well, we hope you have now been able to form a picture of what
kind of people create ST NEWS...
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.