"A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice."
THE LATEST CELLULOID NEWS
by Richard Karsmakers
This is the first ever occurrence of a film news column. While
compiling it I came across some really interesting things that
you'll no doubt find interesting too. Do note that the release
dates mentioned are primarily American, so you'll have to add a
few months for the UK, add a few more for the European continent.
Thanks for most of the news goes to Bryan D. Jones.
"Highlander III: The Magician" is currently being filmed in
Canada. Chronologically it takes place after "Highlander" but
before "Highlander II". It will starr Christopher Lambert, Mario
van Pebbles and Debra Unger, with the script being written by
William Panzer.
Likewise the second half of the "Highlander" TV series season is
being filmed in Paris. The first series is running in the
Netherlands now (first episode aired recently I believe), and is
probably running in other European countries as well. It's not
all that impressive, by the way. "Highlander II" (the movie) is,
for some reason or other, being redone.
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" will go through its seventh
season in the U.S. just around now. It will definitely be the
last season, by the way, although a "Star Trek: The Next
Generation: The Movie" also seems to be in the pipeline. "Star
Trek: The Next Generation" is most likely to be sequeled by a
series with other actors, named "Star Trek: Voyager".
There are still plans for a movie based on Douglas Adams' "The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Producer would be Michael
Nesmisth (ex-Monkee). Adams is at the moment trying to find a
distributor to show interest, and claims he'll be thoroughly
involved in the project. If it happens, it should prove
interesting. Perhaps we will finally be able to forget the
abysmal TV series that wasn't saved by the humour nor the nice
animated sequences.
Release news
February has seen the release of the following films in the US.
Expect them in a European theatre shortly: "I'll Do Anything",
"My Father The Hero" (with Gerard Depardieu), "Romeo is
Bleeding", "Blank Check", "Eight Seconds to Glory", "Guarding
Tess", "My Girl 2", "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective", "Angie 'I
Says'", "Blue Chips", "Reality Bites", "Short Cuts", "Dream
Lover", "Over the Line", "Across the Moon", "Being Human", "Belle
Epoque", "Golden Gate", "On Deadly Ground", "Rapa Nui" and "With
Honors".
March has seen (and will see) the release of "21 (Quiz Show)",
"The Browning Version", "Fiorile", "Young Americans", "American
Ninja 5" (that's what we're all waiting for, innit?), "Monkey
Trouble", "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult", "3 Ninjas Knuckle
Up", "Above the Rim", "Greedy", "Lightning Jack", "Mighty Ducks
2", "Into the Mouth of Madness" (a film by John Carpenter about
an insurance agent who has to find a horror writer who turns out
to have written more than just what's in his imagination),
"Thumbelina", "Threesome", "Wolf" (starring Jack Nicholson who
turns into a wolf, and Michelle Pfeiffer), "Chasers", "China
Moon", "Color of Night", "Favor", "Hudsucker Proxy", "Reckless
Kelly" and "Rita Hayworth & Shawshank".
The near future should see releases of "Backbeat", "A Good Man
in Africa", "Naked in New York", "Surviving the Game", "That's
Entertainment III", "Endless Summer II", "Cowboy Way", "Indian
Warrior", "Major League 2", "Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow"
(incredible), "Trial by Jury", "Clean Slate", "Four Weddings and
a Funeral", "Miami", "Penal Colony", "Bad Girls", "Blue Sky",
"The Chase", "The Paper", "There Goes My Baby", "Troll in Central
Park", "Widow's Peak", "Beverly Hills Cop III", "City Slickers
II", "The Flintstones" (with John Goodman), "Maverick", "It's
Pat".
General releases expected 'somewhere in spring' are "Air Heads",
"Blankman", "Cartooned", "Cliford", "Leon", "The Lion King" (an
animated film), "The Muppet Treasure Island", "PCU", "Pet" (not
about an old Commodore computer I hope) and "Serial Mom". June
should see the release of "Lassie", "Clear and Present Danger",
"Crooklyn", "Getting Even with Dad", "Cop Tips Waitress $2
Million", "Natural Born Killers", "Pee Wee Footbal" and
"Renaissance Man", with July expecting "Blown Away", "The
Shadow", "True Lies", "Wyatt Earp", "Exit to Eden", "The Client",
"River Wild", "Angels in the Outfield", "Countermeasure",
"Foreign Student", "Just in Time", "Little Big League", "Love
Affair", "North", "The Specialist", "Twist of Fate" and "Yellow
Dog".
After all this, the sun will be in the sky aplenty. Reasons to
stay inside a cinema near you may be "Aliens vs. Predator: The
Hunt" (where the Aliens will hit earth - I wonder how they're
going to solve the fact that Sigourney Weaver died in "Alien 3"),
"Oh The Places You'll Go", "Time Cop" (starring Jean-Claude van
Damme), "Black Beauty", "Last of the Dog Men", "Baby's Day Out",
"Boys on the Side", "Forrest Gump", "I Love Trouble", "Milk
Money", "My Summer Story", "The Next Karate Kid" and "Tall Tale".
And before you know it it's November 4th, which is scheduled to
see the release of the new Francis Ford Coppola film,
"Frankenstein". Autumn and winter, however, will further see the
release of a remake of "Ghost and Mrs. Muir" as well as
"Interview With The Vampire", "Pagemaster", "Batman III"
(directed by Joel Schumacher, not Tim Burton - and Michael Keaton
has not yet committed himself so it might not happen at all),
"Godzilla" (American), "Spiderman" and "Star Trek VII".
Due for release somewhere this year but with no specific date
known whatsoever are "The Black Panther", "Brutal Force",
"Crusade" (yes, the film starring Schwarzenegger by Paul
Verhoeven), "Ed Wood", "The Lawnmowerman 2", "The Mask", "Sinbad
Tales" and "Tremors II" (which is hopefully not as pathetic as
the prequel).
A bit further ahead, in 1995, you can expect "Catwoman" and
"Pocahontas" (animated film). Someone else mentioned "Star Wars
I", "Star Wars II" and "Star Wars III". I'm note sure whether
these are remakes or anything. They are scheduled for somewhere
between 1995 and 2000.
Some films that are planned but have no release date set
whatsoever are "Cat Bone: The Return of Huckleberry Finn",
"Casper: the Friendly Ghost", "The Count of Monte Cristo"
(remake), "The Creature From the Black Lagoon" (remake),
"Creepshow 3", "The Demolished Man", "Dinotopia", "Fantasia
Continued", "The Fly III", "Forbidden Planet(remake), Forbidden
Planet" (sequel to remake), "Guns and Roses" (whatever that may
be), "Hill Street Blues:The Movie", "I Was a Teenage Werewolf"
(remake), "The Invisible Man" (remake), "The Man in the Iron
Mask" (remake), "Mary Reilly" (a version of "Dr. Jekyll & Mr.
Hyde"), "Naked Gun 4", "Puff the Magic Dragon" (animated
remake)", "The Revenge of the Old Queen" (2nd sequel to "Rocky
Horror"), "The Saint", "Stranger in a Strange Land" (based on the
Robert Heinlein book?) and "War of the Worlds".
Lastly, some film titles that might be made some day soon, but
that haven;'t actually been shot or planned or preproduced or
anything. They might appear some day, or they might not. A
selection of these titles is "The Brady Bunch", "D'Artagnan",
"Deathstalker V", "Theatre of Blood" (remake by director Chris
Columbus), "Flash Gordon" (remake), "Jungle Book" (animatronics),
"The Munsters", "Phantom of the Opera" (remake), "Pinoccho" (live
action this time), "The Rainbow Warrior", "Return to Mystic
Pizza", "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", "Superman: The New
Movie", "The Three Stooges" and "Who Discovered Roger Rabbit?".
More up-to-date information may be found in the next issue of ST
NEWS!
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.