Chapter Main Heading Page
INTRODUCTION 01
1-10 PLACES TO VISIT 10
11-20 PLACES TO AVOID 53,000
21-90 LIFE FORMS 100,002
91-120 SPACE VEHICLES 168,430
121-135 FOOD 209,632
136-290 MASSAGE PARLOURS 307,937
291-301 KAMA ALTAIRIA 498,621
302-305 PERFUMED PARK 499,203
306-391 APHRODISIACS 500,239
GLOSSARY 576,000
INDEX 577,000
AMENDMENTS 42,000,000
The "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" list of contents
A VIOLENT RETROSPECTIVE
by Stefan Posthuma
Violence in the media has been subject of a public discussion
lately, the horrible murder in England of a toddler by two
eleven-year-olds has stirred things up. It has always been
rumbling in the deeper recesses of society, outbursts of moralism
in the US with the Concerned Mothers against Heavy Metal and the
anti-abortion hysteria. Back to England, the two kids were
apparently inspired by the film "Childs Play II", a very standard
Hollywood horror flick which they make by the dozens. Filmnet
immediately cancelled the airing of said horror movie and some
Dutch politician raised the violence on TV issue once more.
I set out to write reviews of the films I had seen over the past
view months and came to the conclusion that they all have to do
with violence, hence the small introduction.
I guess one of the hotter directors these days is John Woo from
Hong Kong. After seeing his first Hollywood production, "Hard
Target", I was duly impressed and decided to check out his
earlier, Hong Kong stuff. So far I have only been able to get
"Hard Boiled" but it's enough for me to say that John Woo is
totally brilliant but also completely insane. "Hard Boiled" is a
police-action movie of the most extreme kind. The hero goes
around armed with two guns and basically shoots everybody at
least ten times at point blank range and in the most creative
ways. Sounds like cheap B-movie material, and it would have been
was it not for the evident genius of Woo who turns a raw gunfight
into a ballet of slow-motion scenes that last for minutes without
cuts and where people, bullets and blood mix into a strange and
bizarre form of art. I lost the body count after the first scene
where in a shootout between bad guys and the cops an entire
restaurant gets annihilated. This sets the pace for the rest of
the movie that concludes in a hospital, and the only survivors
there are the infants, I guess even Woo couldn't get away with
baby slaughter. The hero does run around carrying a baby while
splattering bad guys with a shotgun though. Totally mad, but
bizarrely fascinating. "Hard Target" is less hardcore but still
very, very violent. Jean Claude van Damme plays the good guy here
and in this one he also goes around with two pistols, every bad
guy gets at least ten bullets in various parts of his body. The
final shootout had me in hysterics in the cinema, it's so extreme
that it's funny. One time, he shoots a guy at point blank range a
few times, kicks him in the face and shoots him a couple of times
more. "Hard Target" also reminded me of the old Sergio Leone
westerns with lots of face-closeups and long shots.
Woo is becoming very popular in Hollywood, actors and actresses
are lining up to get parts in his movies. I hear he's doing a
remake of his "The Killer" with Stallone, and people like Oliver
Stone and Martin Scorsese are his number one fans. Keep an eye on
this Hong Kong dude, his stuff is razorsharp and supercool.
Along the lines of Woo's stuff is "Reservoir Dogs" from Quentin
Tarantino. This movie is part of the 'nouvelle violence' type of
films being done by angry young film makers like Tarantino and
Abel Ferrara whose "Bad Lieutenant" also isn't for the faint-
hearted.
"Reservoir Dogs" is a very raw and uncompromising piece of work.
The two main elements of the film are sharp dialogue and almost
casual violence. My favorite underdog actor and movie veteran
Harvey Keitel (he's been around since "Taxidriver") is the
producer of this movie and he's gathered together a group of
actors that swear, kill, bleed and fight like a pack of junkyard
dogs on a crack trip. They play a group of gangsters who rob a
jewelry store. They get tipped off though, the police shows up
and things become extremely messy. The film starts with a very
long dialogue between the group sitting at a restaurant table,
and then jumps to after the actual robbery. They know that
they've been framed and that the snitch is among them. Using
flashbacks, the characters are introduced one by one and slowly
they all come together for the final scene. I guess it's safe to
say that this one doesn't have a happy end. Like the Woo films,
things could easily have degraded into a cheap gangster shoot
gangster movie, but the threadbare approach from Tarantino makes
it different from all the others. Also, somehow the whole movie
has a very 'cool' feeling. All the characters have aliases like
Mr. White, Mr. Blonde and Mr. Orange (who spends the entire movie
bleeding to death). The dialogue is extremely rude, sexist (not a
single female in this picture, the only other actors are cops who
get killed) and generally offensive yet it streams out of your
speakers like quicksilver. When it's over you're left with a
bitter taste and I bet next time you have to enter a name in a
video game or whatever you'll use something like Mr. Pink or Mr.
Nice Guy...
John McNaughton directed an almost documentary horror film
called "Henry: portrait of a serial killer". Serious business
this one, a very disturbing glance into the dark depths of the
insane mind. The thing about Henry is that he's not a raving
maniac who goes around chainsawing people for his dad's prize
winning Chili. He looks like a normal guy who almost casually
commits his murders. He travels to Chicago and moves in with his
jail-buddy Otis and Otis' sister. Otis is like the evil minion of
Henry and videotapes the atrocities committed by Henry and
himself to watch it at home in slow-motion while downing a
sixpack. Otis' sister quite likes Henri, he is more civilized and
sedate than Otis and falls in love with Henri who has no idea how
to deal with this kind of situation and needless to say things go
very wrong in the end.
There's no frustrated police detective after Henri, no analysis
of why Henri is doing it. There is one scene where Henri tells
about his childhood and this gives some insight into his insanity
but mostly the movie is just a few days of his life and at the
end he simply drives off, off to more death.
Not for a cheerful night of entertainment this one, you can get
some beers and sit down with your buddies and watch a John Woo
film and have a couple of laughs, but this is nothing to laugh
about. Impressive though, terrifying almost.
After this heavy duty stuff a somewhat lighter dish please...
High-tech tongue-in-cheek violence can be found in the
pleasantly surprising "Demolition Man". When I first heard about
it I thought it would be another "Terminator" ripoff with
Stallone this time but it turns out to be a highly entertaining
and very humorous action film.
In 1996, Los Angeles has become a pool of degradation and crime,
the police having serious trouble keeping things under control.
There is one officer though, John Spartan who goes around like a
bulldozer and is nicknamed the Demolition Man. Stallone plays
this dude of course. In the opening scene of the film, Spartan
bungee-jumps from a helicopter into a building where Simon
Phoenix, evil villain played by Wesley Snipes, is holding 30
innocents hostage. Spartan goes around the building annihilating
people, catching Phoenix and blowing up the entire building in
the process. Those first couple of minutes are extremely intense
and prepare you for the rest of the film. When the bodies of the
hostages are found, Spartan is arrested and put into cryogenic
stasis, in other words, he is deep-frozen. Phoenix gets the same
treatment and 37 years later Phoenix escapes during a parole-
hearing and leaves a trail of death and destruction in a society
that hasn't seen an unnatural death for at least 10 years. The
world has changed a lot, and it's all peace, love and harmony.
The chief of police, desperate, thaws out Spartan and lets him
loose to find Phoenix. A very explosive battle between the two is
the result, and we get lots and lots of special effects and large
scale destruction.
The fun thing about this movie the humor that's all over the
place. For example, cursing is illegal and is penalized by a
buzzer and a slip of paper coming from the nearest terminal.
Whenever Spartan or Phoenix curse (and they curse a lot), there
is a buzz somewhere, this is repeated throughout the entire
movie. When Spartan goes to the can and there is no toilet paper,
he swears at the machine a bit and uses the pieces of paper
instead. Fun, lots of fun.
From whitescreen violence to digital violence now.
The latest rage in videogames has to be "Doom". A very
spectacular and brilliantly written 3D action game in which you
are a space soldier that has to go around a Mars base and clear
it of the various alien scum that is hanging around there. Those
who played "Castle Wolfenstein" will know what I am talking
about. "Wolfenstein" is nice, 3D texturemaps, but "Doom" is the
best 3D game I have ever seen. The speed and realism of the 3D
environment is astonishing, and together with the amazing stereo
sound, this game is the closest thing to VR on a home system I
can think of.
You start armed with a simple pistol, but soon you will find
better blasters like the ever effective shotgun, the bloodbath-
machine gun and simply lethal rocket launcher. Ever blown up an
alien bastard with a rocket and seen it explode? When I open a
door and are confronted with a mass of gibbering mutants, I
simply pump some rockets in their midst and watch them get
blasted, accompanied by gory sound effects. But the best weapon
has to be the chainsaw. Hard to find, but fun to use. Just go
nuts and slaughter those baddies with your spinning steel, good
for a lot of laughs.
"Doom" is also massive, there are three levels with eight
stages, and each stage is enormous. There are numerous hidden
rooms and secret passages to be explored, and hundreds and
hundreds of bad guys to annihilate.
But I haven't come to the best bit yet. Hook up four PC's with a
network and you can team up with your buddies. See them run
around and if you play in DeathMatch mode, watch them go down if
you blast them with your shotgun. Totally and utterly brilliant,
I spent hours and hours with my friends in the office of SPC
playing the game. How satisfactory it is to rush to the place
where the machine gun is hidden, and then simply run around
obliterating everybody and hear screams of rage from the other
rooms where your friends are playing. Or sneak up behind
somebody, send them a message (you can communicate with each
other), "look behind you sucker!" and then chainsaw them to bits
as they turn around. Absolutely fantastic game, technically
highly advanced and simply great to play, especially in network
mode.
"Doom" is shareware believe it or not, this version contains one
level and misses some of the weapons and monsters. The mailorder
version has the two extra levels, the extra weapons and more
monsters. The high-power plasma rifle is very effective for
crowd-control, and there are crowds of monsters on the higher
levels, believe me. And then there is the BFG9000, if you really
need to wipe out a hallfull of deranged aliens. A controversial
touch to the game are the many satanic symbols and references
found in the higher levels. Inverted crosses, pentagrams, demonic
faces, impaled corpses, heads on spikes, mutilated bodies on
chains (some of them twitching) and other unholy images. There
have been people complaining about it on the UseNet, and I guess
if you're a devoted Christian you might take offence in this kind
of stuff, but then again, devoted Christians don't go around
splattering creatures with chainsaws and missile launchers. If
you want to know what video games are going to be like in the
future, take a look at "Doom" by ID software. Simply amazing.
"Doom" runs on 386-33 or higher PCs with super VGA and 4 Meg
internal. Also, you really need a soundblaster for the total
experience. The mailorder version costs $40 and is well worth it.
Editorial remark: "Doom" will appear on the Jaguar in some
incarnation or other somewhere in the future. Also read the first
hidden article.
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.