"A politician is someone who can make waves and then make you
think that he's the only one that can save the ship."
I. Ball
YES! HIDDEN ARTICLE ONE IS BACK AGAIN!
(WITH SOME INTERESTING LYRIX MAINLY)
by Richard Karsmakers
Sometimes I tend to violate a few principles in hidden articles,
and this will happen again in this particular one. It contains
some song lyrics, nothing unusual there. However, these lyrics
have been published elsewhere before and, yes, they stem from the
vast realms on the Internet.
Yes, this article contains stuff taken from the Internet. The
Internet, the place where you can get enough material to fill an
issue of ST NEWS with even if it were released monthly. The
Internet, a source of a large load of virtually anonymous stuff
that you can cheaply pinch and put on offer to the even vaster
unknowing masses without Internet access. The Internet, a source
of articles for other magazines but *not* for ST NEWS!
Anyway, this article is the proverbial exception to the rule.
And it isn't that much actually. Almost all of these lyrics have
been taken from the digest released by an Internet hard rock
lyrics mailing list called "Loud Lyrix". Thanks to them! Why they
are included here? Well, some of them are hard to get (not on CD
liners or anything) and some others are parodies. That should
suffice for any hidden article, especially what with some of the
parodies being sortof naughty.
REEKING BREATH by Crash
Parody on Metallica's "Creeping Death"
WAKE! Wanna hide my face beneath the covers!
STENCH! Can't believe last night how close we were!
PASTE! Coating both our mouths like insulation!
KISS? Are you kidding me? You'd best be sure!
So gimme some mouthwash!
So gimme some gum!
Or even a swig of last night's rum!
So gimme the Colgate
Or you'd better run!
My mouth's a phaser set on stun! - UGH! It's reeking breath!!
TALK? Cannot say a word, plants are dying!
SNEEZE? I sure hope we don't, eyes'll burn!
EAT! Any fucking thing you get your hands on!
PLEASE! Just don't look at me, I won't turn!
So gimme some mouthwash!
So gimme some gum!
Or even a swig of last night's rum!
So gimme the colgate
Or you'd better run!
My mouth's a phaser set on stun!
HELP! It's reeking breath!!
HIDE! From this reek!
Feels like it's been a week since I've brushed my teeth!
HIDE! From this reek!
Feels like it's been a week since I've brushed my teeth!
I! Just can't bear with this abomination!
CALL! The exterminator or EPA!
RAID! If I could get this stuff into a spray can
BUGS! Fuckers sure would run to get away...Yeaheeyeah!!!
So gimme some mouthwash
So gimme some gum!
Or even a swig of last night's rum!
So gimme the colgate
Or you'd better run!
My mouth's a phaser set on stun!
OOOOOH! It's reeking BREEE-eeye-eeye-eeyeeeyeye-EATH!!
LAST CARESS & GREEN HELL Metallica, originally performed by Misfits
words and music by Glenn Danzig
(Last Caress)
I've got somethin' to say
I killed your baby today and it
Doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead
I've got somethin' to say
I raped your mother today and it
Doesn't matter much to me
As long as she spread
Chorus:
These lovely dead
I'm waiting for your breath
'cause sweet Death wants Last Caress.
Repeat verse 1
Repeat chorus 2 times
One Last Caress today,
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh (repeat)
(Green Hell)
Here in this place lies the key to your death
Touch it, see it
Here in this place is the means to your end
Touch it, feel it
Green hell
You did your best as someone could
I bet you never knew you would
Did you run away from it? I bet you thought you were really good
We're gonna burn in hell
Green Hell Green Hell
Like every hell but kind of green
Green Hell Green Hell
Try let me get back up there
Green Hell Green Hell
Feel it burning in your cereal
Green Hell Green Hell
Throw our fuckin' friends inside
Green Hell Green Hell
Gotta fuckin' pay and you must stay
Green Hell Green Hell
Cannot forget about the best
Green Hell Green Hell
Hell is reigning in your blood
Green Hell Green Hell
Gotta burn it all
Green hell
You did your best as someone could
I bet you never knew you would
And did you run away from me
I bet you think they were really good
Here in this place lies the key to your death
Touch it, see it
Here in this place sister won't let it in
Touch it, feel it
Green hell
You did your best as someone could
I bet you'd never knew you would
Did you run away from it?
I bet you thought you were really good
You've come to this as someone told
I bet you'd never knew you would
Gonna bring
Green hell
SLAUGHTERAMA by Gwar
(This is featured here to put right a transcription
attempt by Dave Moss and myself somewhere in 1989)
With a battle-cry go forth
Which is "give the people what they want"
And what the people want could only be the senseless slaughter
of the gutter-slime which litters this nation
for cash and prizes
Yes, this is the show where people bet their lives
to win something big 'Cause when your life is shit, then you
haven't got much to lose
On Slaughterama...
This next geek is guilty of the following:
A grateful dead life in which he's been wallowing Tried to tell
us, "Give peace a chance"
Met the National Guard and you shit in your pants
It's not your imagination, it's not a bad trippy
Yes, that's it: it's a big, smelly hippy
Hello Mr. Hippy, nice to meet ya'
Hey, you got a little shit between your toes
So, how are things at the ol' manure factory?
How's little Tofu?
What, she grew another head?
Well, ya gotta lay off that LSD, ya know
Kinda makes your offspring goofy-looking
So, how do you hide money from a hippy?
Put it under the soap!
I'm sorry, but that answer wasn't in time
You're gonna have to put your mouth on this
(BANG)
Oh, I blew your head clean off
Good thing I was such an expert shot
With the National Guard back at Kent State
I bagged four that day
There's nothing like hippy hunting
My dad always used to take me along with Lee Harvey Oswald
All right, we're rockin' now!
World's biggest hair, world's tightest pants
Got no circulation but you still can dance
Fashion is a statement, sometimes a risk
Every fashion had its faults but yours is the pits
Always in black, looks like he's dead
Here's the Art Fag lying on his death bed
Hello, Mr. Art Fag, c'mon out here
Say, whatta hairdo
Why it's awfully big
As big as the...the...the...the Hindenburg
And it'd probably go up just as fast
if I put this lighter to it
But no, I'm gonna' hold out and ask you this question
What ever happened to Eddie Munster?
I'm lookin' at him!
Oh, Oderus, help the boy with his hairdo, there
Ooo! It's getting ripped off!
Ow! Ya' know that's gotta hurt!
What on the other side of his face?
Is that a facelift?
Whoa! He's torn that face clean off!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Help that sod outta' here
Gave up pussy, stopped doing toot
Now ya' can't wait to kiss him on the boot
Elbows and knuckles all you know how
Follow the herd, just another cow Brain full of shit, boots full
of lead
Straight from Hitler's ass, it's the Nazi skin-head
Hello, Mr. Nazi Skin-head, how ya' doin'
How's Geraldo's nose? Still broken?
Well, it's good to see you're still on the job.
You know, when you're mugging
talk-show commentators in bathrooms
Always remember to draw the swastikas turning to the right
Not to the left, always to the right.
Hey, why do Nazi skin-heads wear red suspenders anyways?
He doesn't have to tell you!
Time to give this Nazi skin-head one more haircut
Real close to the shoulders, like
Whoa! His head's been decapitated
Look at all that P.S.I. in his aorta artery
Whoa! Is he a gusher or what?
A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Well everybody, that's all for this week
We've killed everybody that's worth killing
Hope you do the same
We'll be back next week with another edition of
Slaughterama, Slaughterama, Slaughterama
It's a drama
Slaughterama, Slaughterama, Slaughterama
It's a drama, yeah!
It's called existentialists, man
It's for the people who just don't care
Don't feel sorry for them
They've chosen their own path in life
Die Hard by Venom
Satan, Father
Help me from this grave
Demons, warriors
Ever be my slaves
I can't reason with men and mortal fools
They won't die hard, hear the Golden Rule
Die Hard - Legions iron and steel
Die Hard - Men of war revealed
Die Hard - Captors of the brave
Sinner, liar
Guard your Crown of Thorns
Priestess, Parson
Live your lives of scorn
I can raise the fires of Hell and blasphemy
We can grow strong, Satanic Royalty
Die Hard
Evil Angels
Vultures of the night Ride the wings of Hades' death is on our side
Burn the furnace bright, we ain't getting tired.
Die Hard
Fade to Red by The Daveman 2094
(Parody on Metallica's "Fade to Black")
Menstruation is a pain,
Chemical changes in your brain.
See the box of tampons,
And you know it's your last one.
Better grab the dishrag,
Before the blood drips down your leg.
It's already past your knee,
By your toes, under your feet.
Tampax is pettal soft,
Cardboard can rub you raw.
Refuse to use a pad,
Causes leaks and diaper rash.
Just stained my new panties,
Wash 'em in new Tide with bleach.
If that won't clean them by dawn,
To the trash, they'll be gone.
No one but me can pull the string 'tween my legs.
Push it up there, way deep inside.
These cramps, it seems, have no point for existance.
Take three Advil, and tell the pain goodbye.
goodbye.
Wonder Woman by The Avatar
(Parody on Metallica's "Unforgiven")
She runs around in shorts,
And skimpy halter tops,
She's always fighting crime,
Her work it never stops.
Throughout her life the same,
She puts bad guys to shame,
The fight they cannot win,
A pretty dame they see will make them pay,
For their sleazy scuzzy ways,
This woman of such fame,
Of course she has a name......
Long black hair, gold head band,
She an justice, hand in hand,
Fighting crime -- all the time,
To this she'll put an end!
Long black hair, gold head band,
She and justice, hand in hand,
There's some hope -- she's got a rope!
So we dubbed her Wonder Woman....
Flattery by Jeroen Tiggelman
(Parody on Metallica's "Battery")
Articulate retention attenuating tension
Weaknesses are tucked away
Mesmerizing fiction, cover-up addiction
Flattery is here to stay
Benevolence astounding
Sunshine smiles abounding
Cannot stop this flattery
Evasiveness ungrounded
With tolerance confounded
Cannot stand this flattery
Cannot stand this easy
Flattering society
Flattery
Rushing to attention, forestall-your-wish intention
Ever-pending sympathy
Never contradiction, conformity affliction
Bordering on insanity
Benevolence astounding
Sunshine smiles abounding
Cannot stop this flattery
Evasiveness ungrounded
With tolerance confounded
Cannot stand this flattery
Cannot stand this weakly
Cowering society
Flattery
Reconciling antics, words without semantics
Circle of stupidity
I write these poison pieces, they will when they read this
Smile benignly, flatter me
With euphemisms lightening
Wrongs they should be fighting
Mean superficiality
Still these things amaze me
Think I'm going crazy
Had to write this parody
Cannot stand this easy
Parody of equality
Called PC
Through the Blender by Philip Wang (Parody on Metallica's
"Through the Never")
All that is, was and will be
Chopped up fruit much too big to drink
Time and space never ending
Disturbing thoughts, questions pending
Limitations of methods of containing
Too quick to realize
Obligation to liquify
We hunger, oh gimmie five
All that is, ever
Ever was
Will be ever
Twisting
Turning
Through the blender
In the fridge, see past the fries
Pursuit of meat no matter where it lies
Gazing up to the shelves in the heavens
On a quest, pasta, raisins
Came to be, how it begun
All alone in the family on the run
1 pm lunch break teasing everyone
Drink it down, lunch done at half past one
All that is, ever
Ever was
Will be ever
Twisting
Turning
Through the blender
On through the blender
It must go
On through the blender
Out to the
Food digestor
It must go
On through the blender
Forever blender runs
All that is, ever
Ever was
Will be ever
What we eat
Is forever
Twisting
Turning
Through the blender
Blender
Left Hand Path by Entombed
(Transcription by R.K.)
(With considerable aid by Lars-Goran and Nicke of Entombed)
I am my own God
Master slave and I will be beyond the grave
No one will take my soul away
I carry my own will and make my day
I am my own God
See the truth beyond
Through endless lies thy kingdom come
Glorified wisdom elumination tool
Selfdeceit it's the golden rule
Live your life you're gonna die your own death
There's no one above that's gonna take your breath
I dip my forefinger in the watery blood
Of your impotent redeemer
And write over his thorntorn brow
The true Prince of Evil
What man's created
Man can destroy
Bring to light
That day of joy
Peek and Enjoy by Crash
(Parody on Metallica's "Seek and Destroy")
Always alone, every Saturday night
Lookin' for *her* when her house is alight
From his window, sees it without fail
All the looks on her face from her orgasmic wails!
Fucking! Everywhere...
Crying! Pulling hair...
Coming! A thousand screams...
Fucking! Everywhere...
Crying! Pulling hair...
COMING! A thousand screams!!
Jerkin'! Peek and enjoy!! (4x)
She's a sex machine, yeah that's her style...
But she's got a man who can go the last mile!
Tits they bounce, as she rides him quicker!
She starts to buck her hips, he swigs his liquor!!
Fucking! Everywhere...
Crying! Pulling hair...
Coming! A thousand screams...
Fucking! Everywhere...
Crying! Pulling hair...
CUMMING! A thousand screams!!
Jerkin'! Peek and enjoy!! (4x)
Her climax has died, and she's sprawled on the floor.
But *he's* just not fulfilled, he's always hungry for more!
Soon they're up again and building speed...
And he slows down his jerks, so he can follow her lead!
Fucking! Everywhere
Crying! Pulling hair...
Coming! A thousand screams...
Fucking! Everywhere...
Crying! Pulling hair...
CUMMING! A thousand screams!!
Jerkin'! Peek and enjoy!! (4x)
The Truth Beyond by Entombed
(From the "But Life Goes On" demo)
People put to death in the name of God
And blood run red in an eternal flood
The word has been spread - Through out the centuries
Millions of corpses lying in the cemeteries
Reek of christianity
Down of obscuration
The birth of insanity
And death to liberation
Lord of evolution
Enslavement emperor
Root of all evil
It is the holy terror
God the almighty - The creator of Earth
Devote your life to this holy writ - The key to your rebirth
And if you've been a believer of justice and brave
So what! It shall be written on your grave
The bell summon its slaves to mass
In the darkest hour
To devour the body of Christ
The blood feast shall increase their power
Chalices filled to the edge with blood
Drawn from holy veins
Tearing his stomach open
And revel in the shredded remains
Smell the putrid stench
Of the godblessed crucifixion
And discover the lies
There is no resurrection
Get your eyes open wide
And discover the lies
See the truth beyond
The shadows of a false paradise!
But Life Goes On by Entombed
(From the "But Life Goes On" demo)
A rotten stench
Surrounds another ended life
Maggots infesting the rotten flesh Is that the way you want to
die?
Decomposed
Don't want to live in a decaying shell
But why should I go to heaven
And who's to say I'll enter hell
Dead - Deceased, but life goes on
I will be the one who won
My charred body will decay
But my soul will be floating anyway
Visually a corpse
But what's inside my head
Don't consider I once was deceased
So I guess I'll come back from the dead
Dying my death
In relentless aggrieve
Dead and put down in a wooden box
Just can't be my destiny
Dead - Deceased, but life goes on
I will be the one who won
Continue to seek and you will see
That life is your worst enemy
B.D.F. by Gwar
You take your fat tongue
And curl it into a "U"
You take a young child
Who knows not what you'll do
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK SUCK
BABY DICK FUCK BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK SUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
There's no excuse
Give him the goose
with a push
And then with a shove
Teach that child
How grown-ups love
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK SUCK
BABY DICK FUCK BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK SUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
I haunt the malls and the Burger Kings
I am the giver of pain Splitting the rumps of the wicked
Only the nipples remain
The cherub screams "no"
As I move to defile
Our bodies entwine
In a puddle of bile
Many years later
We'll look back and smile
As we thrash about on the urine-drenched tile
The delivery room
Is as still as a tomb
I fuck the child while
It's still in your womb
The child is now dead
And you start to blubber
Fuck your warm corpse
With your child as a rubber
Take your fat tongue
Ram it up her bung
Her face is packed with cum
We've only just begun!
From your head your eyes I pluck
Give you savage socket fuck
Work my wand of black obsidian
End up like a Branch Davidian
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
BABY DICK FUCK
Triumph of Death (by Hellhammer)
When you have been down in your grave...alive
Your mind decays and you're the coffin's slave
And when at midnight an uncanny bell tolls...
Terrible noises, the dark graveyard calls
Limbs break through the dirt
Decay stinks like hell
Dark creatures in the fog
Crusted blood on the dead
Triumph of death
Triumph of death
Euronomous sends his souls
Buried by a horrible mistake
Let me out
You feel, you're eaten by worms
And the night's alive again
When you have been down in your grave...alive...alive
Your mind decays and you're my coffin's slave
And when at midnight an uncanny bell tolls...
Terrible noises, the dark graveyard calls
You...you...you...you
Startin' Up A Posse by Anthrax
(This is featured here to put right a transcription
attempt by Stefan Posthuma and myself somewhere
a few years ago)
Now I'm gonna tell ya a story
A tale of wrong and Right
and freedom is the reason
You can't take it without a fight
So now I'm startin' up a posse
(Suck my dick, suck my dick)
To come and look for you
We're gonna put a stop
To what you want to do
You fucking whores
(You fuckin' whores)
That's all you are
You say our records are offensive
(You're a douche, You're a douche)
Our messages ain't right
You say "We're gonna label records
So our kids can grow up right"
You fucking whores
(Let them decide)
That's all you are
Chorus
Shit, fuck, satan, death, sex drugs, rape
These seven words you're trying to take
Shit, fuck, satan, death, sex, drugs, rape
Right or wrong it's our choice to make
America the beautiful, Land of the free
Don't change the words to land of Hypocrisy
Now I'm startin' up a posse
(Fascist scum, fascist scum)
And we'll damn sure make you see
Something that offends you
May not be offensive to me
You fucking whores
(You fuckin' whores)
That's all you are
Now you might take offense
To a word like "fuck" or "shit"
(Dick)
But you fuckin' don't have the right
(Cunt)
To discriminate me for saying it
You fuckin' whores (You fuckin' whores)
That's all you are
Chorus
So now I'm startin' up a posse
(Motherfucker, motherfuck)
To fight for freedom of choice
To fight for freedom of speech
We're gonna make you hear our voice
And now I don't do this to shock you
(That's the end, that's the end)
I don't do this for spite
You've got the choice, don't buy it, don't read it,
And don't say your opinion's right
You fucking whores
(You fuckin' whores)
That's all you are
(Cunty, cunty, cunty, cunt)
You know you can't censor my feelings
You can't censor my thoughts
Censorship's against
Everything America stands for
You fuckin' whores
(Let us decide)
That's all you are
(And this ain't sexist, either)
Chorus
And that, as they (and I) have said thousands upon thousands of
times, it is.
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.