"If you can do it, it ain't braggin'!"
Dizzy Dean
THE LATEST CELLULOID NEWS
by Richard Karsmakers
Behold the second occurrence of a film news column. I don't
suppose I have to mention that most of the release dates given
here are primarily American ones, so you'll have to add a few
months for the UK, add a few more for the European continent.
Thanks for most of the news goes to Bryan D. Jones.
Bruce Willis will start filming "Die Hard III" before long.
John Cleese has written a sequel to "A Fish Called Wanda",
jocularly work-titled "Death Fish II". It will feature the same
group of actors (including Kevin Kline), but they will play
different roles. It is said to be a lot funnier than the
original.
There are still plans for a movie based on Douglas Adams' "The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Producer would be Michael
Nesmith (ex-Monkee). Adams is at the moment trying to find a
distributor to show interest, and claims he'll be thoroughly
involved in the project. If it happens, it should prove
interesting. Perhaps we will finally be able to forget the
abysmal TV series that wasn't saved by the humour nor the nice
animated sequences.
Christopher Lambert will appear in "Fortress II", to be shot
later this year in Australia. Filming "Highlander III: The
Magician" has been finished largely.
Steven Spielberg is attempting to get the rights of British
SciFi cult series "Dr. Who" so he can have a go at producing an
American version of the show.
TriStar is reportedly making a film out of the original
"Foundation Trilogy" by Isaac Asimov. This would be due for late
1995 or summer 1996, and will be directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud
(who also did "Quest for Fire").
Some horror films will be released soon: "Return of the Living
Dead Part III", "Candyman II", another "Nightmare on Elm Street"
and (yes!) "Hellraise IV". Considering today's technology these
might be truly scary.
Release news
This is the bit based on Bryan D. Jones' work - a summary of
United States releases sorted by month.
AUGUST
"Blankman", "The Mask", "Time Cop", "Clear and Present Danger,"
"Last of the Dog Men", "Troll in Central Park", "Baby's Day Out"
(an extremely cute film about a baby that is lost and somehow
miraculously escapes unspeakable dangers), "Boys on the Side",
"My Summer Story", "Pee Wee Footbal", "The Quick and the Dead",
"SFW", "Speed", "Summer Camp Story" and "Tall Tale".
SEPTEMBER
"Into the Mouth of Madness" and "Princess Caraboo".
OCTOBER
"Legends of the Fall".
NOVEMBER
"Frankenstein" (the Francis Ford Coppola version).
SOMEWHERE IN AUTUMN
"Annie and the Castle of Terror", "Barcelona", "Blackout",
"Dexterity", "The DROP Squad", "Ed Wood", "Ghost and Mrs. Muir"
(remake), "Gridiron Gang", "Interview With The Vampire", "It
Happened in Paradise", "The Land Before Time", "Leon", "Love
Affair", "Nobody's Fool", "Old Friends", "Pagemaster", "Pancho's
War", "Pin Cushion", "Pontiac Moon", "Radioland Murders", "The
Saint", "Snowballs", "The Specialist", "Star Trek VII", "Terminal
Velocity", "The War" and "White Fang II".
DECEMBER
"Batman III" (directed by Joel Schumacher, not Tim Burton - and
Michael Keaton has not yet committed himself so it might not
happen at all), "Foundation", "Godzilla" (American) and
"Spiderman".
SOMEWHERE IN 1994
"The Black Panther", "Brutal Force", "Crusade" (yes, the film
starring Schwarzenegger by Paul Verhoeven, supposedly the most
expensive film ever so far), "The Lawnmowerman 2", "Sinbad Tales"
and "Tremors II" (which is hopefully not as pathetic as the
prequel).
SOMEWHERE IN 1995
"Catwoman" and "Pocahontas" (animated).
SOMEWHERE BEFORE 2000
"Star Wars I", "Star Wars II" and "Star Wars III".
FILMS THAT HAVE BEEN DONE, BUT NO RELEASE DATE SET YET
"Arizona Dream", "Day of Atonement", "The Hidden II", "The New
Age", "Tales From the Darkside: The Movie 2", "Red Rock West" and
"Slaughter of the Innocents".
FILMS THAT ARE CURRENTLY BEING SHOT (BANG!)
"Delores Clayborne", "Don't Do It", "Highlander III", "House
Party III", "Mary Reilly" (A version of "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde"),
"Monolith", "Silly Hillbillies on Mars" (animated) and "Tank
Girl".
FILMS THAT ARE PLANNED AND MAY BE DONE SOME DAY
"Alien 4" (where the Aliens will hit earth - I wonder how
they're going to solve the fact that Sigourney Weaver died in
"Alien 3"), "The American", "Biker Mice from Mars" (animated),
"Black", "Blondie", "Cat Bone: The Return of Huckleberry Finn",
"Casper: the Friendly Ghost", "Concrete", "A Connecticut Yankee
in King Arthur's Court", "The Count of Monte Cristo" (remake),
"The Creature From the Black Lagoon" (remake), "Creepshow 3",
"Dinotopia", "Fantasia Continued", "Flaming Carrot", "The Fly
III", "Forbidden Planet" (remake), "Forbidden Planet" (sequel to
remake), "The Good Doctor", "The Green Hornet", "Guns and Roses",
"Harlot's Ghost", "Hill Street Blues: The Movie", "Honey West",
"I Was a Teenage Werewolf" (remake), "The Invisible Man"
(remake), "The List of Seven", "The Man in the Iron Mask"
(remake), "The Mangler", "The Men in Black", "Mortal Kombat",
"Mother Night", "Naked Gun 4", "Nuclear Family", "Paradise
Junction", "The Phantom", "Plastic Man", "The Postman", "A
Princess of Mars", "Private Lessons", "Puff the Magic Dragon"
(animated remake), "The Revenge of the Old Queen" (2nd sequel to
"Rocky Horror"), "Richie Rich", "Santiago", "Stars My
Destination", "The Stowaway to Mars", "Stranger in a Strange
Land", "The Talisman", "The Texas Rangers", "Thinner", "Trancers
VI" (video), "The Vampire Lestat", "Village of the Damned"
(remake), "War of the Worlds" (animated) and "Zone of Silence".
More up-to-date information may be found in the next issue of ST
NEWS!
Disclaimer
The text of the articles is identical to the originals like they appeared
in old ST NEWS issues. Please take into consideration that the author(s)
was (were) a lot younger and less responsible back then. So bad jokes,
bad English, youthful arrogance, insults, bravura, over-crediting and
tastelessness should be taken with at least a grain of salt. Any contact
and/or payment information, as well as deadlines/release dates of any
kind should be regarded as outdated. Due to the fact that these pages are
not actually contained in an Atari executable here, references to scroll
texts, featured demo screens and hidden articles may also be irrelevant.